09/26/2026
STORY TIME 😂
There are moments in life that test you as a person.
Today, mine happened in a Wendy’s bathroom.
And when I tell you there was a point where I genuinely had to choose between walking into a pitch-black public restroom like the dumb girl in every horror movie ever made… or pi***ng my pants at 46 years old in the middle of Wendy’s — I wish I was exaggerating. 😂
Let me set the scene…
I had to p*e. BAD.
Not the “I should probably find a bathroom soon” kind of p*e. I mean the kind where you’re afraid to even stand up because once you get to a certain age, your bladder apparently decides holding it is no longer part of its job description.
So I’m out in public with my son and I spot Wendy’s.
Perfect.
Their bathrooms are locked and you need a code, so in my head I’m thinking locked bathroom = relatively clean bathroom.
I tell my son, “Look at the menu, I’ll be right back,” get the code from the employee and scurry my ass toward that bathroom because we are officially running out of time.
Punch in the code.
Open the door.
BLACK.
Not dim.
Not a bulb burned out over the sink.
PITCH. FU***NG. BLACK.
I’m standing there waving my arms around, doing damn near jumping jacks trying to get the motion sensor to realize there is, in fact, an entire human being standing in this bathroom.
Nothing.
Now I’m holding the door open with one foot, using the hallway light to search the wall for a switch while simultaneously trying not to p*e myself.
FINALLY — there it is.
YES!
Flip it. Push it.
Nothing.
Flip it , push it again.
NOTHING.
At this point there is no more time for rational decision-making.
I can either p**s my pants in a Wendy’s hallway…
or enter the abyss.
So into the f@c&ing abyss I went. 😂
I shut the door behind me and immediately realized I had another problem:
I COULDN’T SEE THE STALLS.
Out comes the phone.
Flashlight on.
And now I’m creeping through a completely dark public bathroom shining my iPhone around trying to locate a toilet while also thinking…
Dear God, PLEASE do not let there already be somebody sitting in one of these stalls.
Because I am absolutely NOT emotionally prepared to shine my flashlight into the darkness and discover another human being staring back at me. 😂😂😂
Found a stall.
Door locked.
Phone flashlight on.
And now I’m trying to p*e as fast as humanly possible while praying nobody else punches in that bathroom code and comes strolling in.
Because imagine being THAT person.
You open the door to a completely black Wendy’s bathroom and somewhere in the darkness you see the faint glow of an iPhone flashlight coming from inside a stall.
Nope.
That’s not a bathroom anymore.
That’s a crime scene waiting to happen. 😂
I finished, found my way back out with my trusty iPhone flashlight, opened that door and emerged back into civilization like I’d just survived 72 hours in the wilderness.
My son?
Still standing there looking at the menu like absolutely nothing had happened.
Meanwhile, I had just fought for my life.
But I made it.
I survived the Wendy’s bathroom dungeon.
And most importantly…
I WALKED OUT WITH DRY PANTS.
At 46 years old, some victories deserve to be celebrated. 😂 another two left shoes kind of moment I’ve survived.
