The Clawson Digest

The Clawson Digest Real news stories I made up on the toilet

PHOTO COMING TO US LIVE FROM OUR FIELD PHOTOGRAPHER USING HIS MOTO FLIP PHONE
05/12/2024

PHOTO COMING TO US LIVE FROM OUR FIELD PHOTOGRAPHER USING HIS MOTO FLIP PHONE

05/04/2024

MANDATORY ATTENDANCE TO DavidLand Roadside Attraction BEGINS TOMORROW MAY 4TH

BLAIR MEMORIAL LIBRARY REVEALED OPERATION DEWEY DECIMAL, A MASSIVE SUCCESS.
04/25/2024

BLAIR MEMORIAL LIBRARY REVEALED OPERATION DEWEY DECIMAL, A MASSIVE SUCCESS.

AVAILABLE AT THREE CATS, DOWNTOWN CLAWSON.
04/14/2024

AVAILABLE AT THREE CATS, DOWNTOWN CLAWSON.

LIVE ON 732 HIGH ST!!! THIS NEW LEMONADE BUSINESS IS SET TO REVIVE THE CLAWSON BUSINESS SECTOR.FAILURE TO PURCHASE LEMON...
04/14/2024

LIVE ON 732 HIGH ST!!! THIS NEW LEMONADE BUSINESS IS SET TO REVIVE THE CLAWSON BUSINESS SECTOR.

FAILURE TO PURCHASE LEMONADE WILL RESULT IN EXILE FROM CLAWSON.

WITH A JAW DROPPING 3+ CONFIRMED KILLS PER NIGHT, JAXSON (AKA JAXSONATOR) IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. JACXSON IS CU...
04/12/2024

WITH A JAW DROPPING 3+ CONFIRMED KILLS PER NIGHT, JAXSON (AKA JAXSONATOR) IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. JACXSON IS CURRENTLY DEPLOYED IN CLAWSON, PATROLLING THE CITY AND ELIMINATING RODENTS. DO NOT INTERFERE WITH HIS WORK.

04/06/2024

LOCAL MAN FORGETS HE RUNS NEWS PAGE

"Clawson Shares!" has released a new patch update that prevents users from exploiting the infinite money glitch after a ...
06/03/2023

"Clawson Shares!" has released a new patch update that prevents users from exploiting the infinite money glitch after a man was caught reselling shelves, ironically giving away his own dignity for free.

Which is kinda smart but also an insanely lame way to make your neighbors dislike you. Can you imagine being kicked out of a free stuff group on the internet?

BREAKING!! The Clawson Digest is here to sell out just like a real news outlet! Now YOU can don the logo of the most FAM...
06/02/2023

BREAKING!! The Clawson Digest is here to sell out just like a real news outlet! Now YOU can don the logo of the most FAMOUS news rag in all of Clawson! And not just shirts either. We've got mugs, buttons, stickers, phone cases, hats, and more. And all for 20% off for a limited time only!!

Visit the link to see our merch! Be sure to click "View this design on 40+ products"!

https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/The-Clawson-Digest-Logo-by-ngarlock/146409040.GDEN5?ref=explore-for-you-recently-viewed

GOT THE SCOOP ON A HOT STORY? SEND IT IN!You too can contribute to the landfill that is this news rag! All you have to d...
05/27/2023

GOT THE SCOOP ON A HOT STORY? SEND IT IN!

You too can contribute to the landfill that is this news rag! All you have to do is send us your scoop and we'll take a look!

What qualifies as a scoop? Anything happening in Clawson that is mildly interesting that we can exploit and exaggerate of course!

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