03/16/2026
I was talking to a lady the other day about emotions, hard conversations, and all that comes with them… and baby, why did I do that? 🥴😅 If you know my life, I have stories for days.
It really reminded me that sometimes people just do not have the capacity. Honestly, sometimes that person is us too.
Everybody cannot hold what we are trying to say. Some people hear from their wounds instead of their wisdom, and before long, they start projecting their insecurities onto us.
That’s why before I step into any conversation—especially a hard one—I’ve learned to take a look at the other person’s emotional bank account.
What’s actually in there that can be spent?
It’s just like anything else. I can’t walk into a store expecting to leave with a $1,000 bag if I only have $100 in my account. That just doesn’t match what’s available.
The same goes for emotions. We cannot keep expecting deep understanding, accountability, or healthy communication from people who simply do not have the emotional capacity for it right now.
One of my friends always tells people, “don’t take things into your heart” just as Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
So the real question becomes this…What are we doing with our emotions?
Over these last few years, I’ve really learned that I get to choose. I can choose to reach out when someone has the capacity to handle the conversation. I can choose to engage when I have the capacity to handle whatever may come with it. And when neither of us is in that place, I can let go where I need to, pray, and circle back later if necessary.
We are absolutely called to love people, support people, pray for people, and walk in empathy. But that does not mean carrying emotional debt that does not belong to us.
That has been a hard pill to swallow, especially as someone who used to be deeply emotionally attached to the people I loved and, at times, operated from people-pleasing.
But I’m learning this: I will no longer carry the emotional debt of other people just to keep a relationship intact—family, friend, or otherwise.
The burdens that feel too heavy to hold—Jesus never asked us to carry what only He can heal anyway.
So are you laying them down or what?
We all have to do the work.
🤔✋🏾🤎
