Zenna The Creatress

05/28/2026

When I heal I sleep and eat, which is adverse to the insomnia and starvation I'm used to in constant survival mode.

When I heal I build a chrysalis with my body.
I cocoon in blankets and research, video games and music ... I create and I stop prioritizing being a seamless component of the machine.

I'm healing spine and nerve tissues, fractured bones, and so much trauma.

My brain tells me I'm useless. Not worth the air I breathe.

Not unless I'm actively working myself to death..

I started working at 12, babysitting. At 14 I was in retail. At 19 I was married, pregnant and had a year of home health care on my resume.

At 21 I had 2 kids, was struggling with PPD, the breadwinner working 60 hours a week and being severely abused.

At 25 I was leaving my ex husband and afraid of the law and the system. I hid my abuse in shame. I tried to get help and learned that the system that was supposed to be on my side as a mom actually was not.

I found real safety and community at 36 when I left everything that was supposedly family behind.

This is what healing looks like.

I don't love it but it's factual.

And I accept it.

05/27/2026

03/27/2026

SLA (Service Level Agreement)

By Zenna The Creatress

He clung to me like saran wrap, draped about me all day. He fussed and he fixed. He listened and assisted but was always too close for comfort.

I don't blame him. I know I'm inviting, especially when I'm learning you and we've things in common.

I'm new and shiny but somehow familiar. I am this for survival. I don't know what's real and what's survival because surviving is now who I am.

I wish I could say I've never turned an unpleasant first encounter into a learning adventure full of excitement and heartbreak, but it's what I do.

I've fought and escaped, I've run from abuse at every place I came to settle. My home was always in the wild. Either the wilderness of the evolution of telecommunications or the living forests and breathing lakes of the United States.

I've encountered animals and monsters. In men you find both: the ignorance and fumbling folly of the simple, as well as the cunning deception and manipulation of the calculating

Abuse, we call it what it is. Others inflicted themselves on me without respect for my well being or needs.

To some this is survival but, it doesn't have to be.

To people like me, there's a significant part of the path to healing that requires helping others heal. That's where I live.

10/25/2023

Yes, I’m alive. 💋💕

06/16/2023

🩵🦋💙🪻💜🐑🩷

06/04/2023

F*ck diet culture.

05/23/2023

We've all been conditioned to think of a bell and a dog when someone says "Pavlov"

05/23/2023

In spite of great peril and greater depression, I've just reached 700 followers! Thank you for continuing support. I could never have made it without youse.

Stay tuned for my heroic comeback, after a I finish halting my descent into madness. ;)

(Picture not my work, can't find OG post)