Counselor Ellice

27/08/2025

On the Value of Family: A Multi-Generational Journey

Family is more than just the people we live with today — it’s a living, breathing legacy that spans multiple generations. The patterns, wounds, and gifts we inherit shape not only our own lives but ripple forward into the lives of those who come after us.
As a professional, I often witness how healing within one generation can bring freedom and hope to the next.

Oftentimes, I witness people fear losing their core relationships at the expense of healing and growing. It is a very special and honorable path to walk with them, in guiding them on how to call-in loved ones, to heal and grow together. The work we do in families — healing old wounds, building new patterns of love and respect — creates a foundation that strengthens future generations.

On rare occasions, I meet people who are deeply wounded and grieve the loss that comes from not being safely able to share healing and growth with loved ones. These are wounded souls whose elders (in the family) may have criminally abused them, or experienced the betrayal of a spouse who criminally abused them and or their children. Yes, it is true that abuse is more common than we think. At the same time, I am grateful to share that I (anecdotally) have not observed abuse as the dominant feature of family or societal life.

The Catholic Church calls the family the first domestic church, and a mini-society. Cultures all over the world have recognized, through the course of evolved human history, that family is the microcosm of society, as well.

Family teaches us about belonging, resilience, and the power of connection. It reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves — a chain of relationships that carry both challenges and grace across time.

Investing in family means investing in the future, honoring the past, and choosing hope for those yet to come. It certainly is not easy, and comes with risk, as does any form of investment. But it’s one of the kinds of investments that can potentially bring the most reward. We can’t follow our children after we die, to ensure they are people of integrity, or carefully steward the material wealth we leave behind. But we can sow the relational seeds while we are alive, for a beautiful garden to bloom in the generations of our progeny. For those who are Christian, or, believe in the existence of Heaven, there is an added layer to the investment. We bring literally nothing physical with us to Heaven, but we may meet the souls of our elders and progeny in Heaven. How beautiful would it be to greet each other with joy, there, rather than having to start off by reconciling earthly wounds?

This work is sacred. It’s profound. And it’s always worth it.

The simplest step is the first step. Usually the first step is committing to our own individual healing. The second baby step is opening our hearts to our identified Higher Power, and asking for the help to see how we can share the blessings from our individual healing. Your Higher Power may flow your blessings to your loved ones, your family of origin, or, elsewhere, if you are open to it.

18/08/2025

On the Worth of Marriage...

Marriage is one of the most profound commitments we can make — not just to another person, but to a shared journey of growth, healing, and integrity.
When both spouses are truly invested in their vows, marriage becomes a sacred space where they learn to be whole individuals and a united couple. It’s about becoming people of integrity again — aligning our actions with our promises, even when it’s hard. We learn to confront our defenses, face our histories, and rebuild trust in the face of betrayal or pain. It’s where we learn what it means to be emotionally honest, to become people of depth and character, and to align who we are with who we say we want to be.

Fighting for marriage isn’t about holding on at any cost. It’s about asking: Can we grow together? Can we rebuild trust? Can we become a stronger ‘we’? In that space of curiosity, the relationship can become a vessel for healing and mutual transformation.

When two people are both committed to becoming integrated individuals, the relationship itself can become integrated — something whole, something real, something beautiful. When both people show up willing to face their wounds, communicate honestly, and choose love, marriage becomes more than a contract or a formality — it becomes a journey toward grace.

For those who have made not only a civil but also a religious commitment, you may be familiar with the reminder that it is your spouse who helps you toward Heaven. All religions teach about the path to Heaven, and, your spouse as your lifelong partner, is your companion on that journey. If a marriage can be reconciled and set back on the path for higher meaning, marriage becomes a form of grace.

These reflections guide my work with couples every day, as I witness the profound potential marriage holds when both people commit to healing and growth.

This work is beautiful. It’s worthwhile. And it’s possible.

17/08/2025

When a couple shows up consistently to do the hardest work — healing from betrayal, trauma, and abuse — something sacred happens.

With their full permission, I’m sharing the words of one spouse I worked with over the course of three years, alongside their spouse, as they faced not only the pain of infidelity, but the trauma of sexual violence within their family system. Their story is a testimony to what’s possible when people commit to the healing process, one step at a time.

“Ellice has become a big support in life of my wife and I. It feels like we have found an angle when we were in dark. She helps us with everything we have doubts about. I am glad to have found Ellice for my wife and I. Ellice helped us navigate through our issues in most unimaginable way. She noticed our differences and she connected my wife and I on common ground of love and respect. She is the best. Ellice is being very appreciative and thoughtful about our experience sharing process. This is helping us a lot. We are talking every issues wife and I cannot talk about to Ellice. She also gave us homework of thinking through it. She saved our marriage and now helping with deeper issues related with our mental health. We wanted to get different option on our approach to share some details related to trauma with family members. Ellice helped us to think about it from different perspective and helped us with game plan on how and what to share. She helps solve complex issues which requires understanding family dynamics as well. I am 100% satisfied with outcomes. I believe Ellice adopted very well based on the situation of the room. I feel satisfied with Progress.

What worked for me:
1. Doing in person Therapy
2. Intense continued work
3. Ellice’s 100% focus and involvement
4. Knowledge she was providing
5. Simplicity in language
6. Making understand each other's feelings between my wife and I
7. Asking questions to make me observe my feelings to beyond what I recognized
8. Able to provide simplified version to express feelings toward my wife
9. Being patience with my wife and I
10. Being assertive whenever necessary
11. Being very soft during entire session
12. Very attentive. I don't think she misses any information which I appreciate the most.
13. Schedule flexibility she provided.

I did not find anything which wasn't helpful. Everything is perfect and I am glad that I found Ellice.

Ellice is great. She is not just a therapist, she is extremely smart person. She gives great ideas and helps with brainstorming. Also, she educates me during the process about my wife's mental health condition. I did not felt anything is missing.. The way ellice shares the knowledge and future predictions are very helpful. She always very humble when she shares a knowledge. Also, she is also available in difficult situations to help. Her willingness to help is unprecedented. I have never seen someone like her willing to help. She goes above and beyond to help.

Ellice is amazing. I have worked with other therapist, I have not had similar experience.

She is going to be a person that we will never forget and we will be grateful of her for entire life. Thanks for everything you do for us! We can't be here without your help.”

Working with this couple over a few years — both in person and virtually — has been a profound experience. Like many of the patients I work with long term, their progress came through regular care, consistent effort, trust-building, and the willingness to engage difficult, layered issues at their own pace.

We initially met virtually during the pandemic, and transitioned to some in person sessions, before returning to virtual sessions with the ebb and flow of the coronavirus. Since then, I’ve continued to work primarily online — and this journey is a clear reminder that meaningful, lasting change can happen on any platform as long as the professional fit is good for the person(s) and the desired goals.

Most of the patients who reach their goals through therapy, and clients who reach their goals through coaching, tend to stay with the process over a few years. Healing from trauma, betrayal, and relational wounds takes time, and it’s always shaped by the depth of commitment both the professional and the patient (or client) brings to the work.

To this couple — thank you for showing up for yourselves, and for each other. Your courage, honesty, and commitment to doing the work — even when it was hard, inconvenient, and at times overwhelming — will stay with me forever. Thank you for allowing me to walk beside you.

16/08/2025

I've been thinking a lot lately about the quiet lessons children teach us — the way they invite us into slowness, presence, and awe.

Even in their earliest moments, they mirror back what we often forget: that being held, seen, and loved in simplicity is enough.

Parenting — or even just being near the smallness of a growing soul — can reshape how we see the world.

One thing I’ve noticed — both in my work and in my own quiet reflections — is how much children teach us about being present.

Their needs are simple, but profound: to be seen, to be safe, to be loved without condition. And those needs don't disappear as we grow older.

In sessions, and in life, I often come back to this truth: healing can happen both in motion, and in stillness.

It’s about being present, even when we’re tired, even when we’re unsure.
And maybe especially when we pause, let go of performance, and simply allow ourselves to be.

Rest isn’t wasted. Slowness isn’t laziness. It also isn’t a reward for having done enough. It’s a foundation for knowing we are already enough. These are the conditions where love deepens, where connection grows roots.

Whether we're tending to a child, someone else we are serving, or our own inner life, presence matters more than perfection. And the quiet often holds more than we think.

There is holiness in the quiet moments, too — when we pause long enough to notice what matters most.

Happy Relaxation Day & the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary... Blessed be God forever...

15/08/2025

I've been reflecting a lot lately on what it means to do meaningful work — the kind that not only serves others but also sustains the person offering it.

As a licensed professional clinician, I’ve often held back from sharing much personally, out of caution and respect for boundaries that I take very seriously. But something is shifting for me — and I think it's worth naming.

Authenticity doesn’t always mean disclosure. Sometimes it just means noticing what kinds of work and connections bring peace, ease, and a sense of rightness in the body.
I’m paying attention to that more now — not to exclude anyone, but to honor what helps me show up at my best.

I’ll still be doing my work with deep respect for all the diverse populations I service, as I always have — but I’m also giving myself permission to listen more closely to where I feel called and steady.

Maybe it's the season I’m in — one of softness, change, and deeper listening — but I’m feeling more drawn to the kinds of work that connect both heart and mind.

I don’t have a big announcement — just a quiet note to say: I’m listening inward, and following what feels truly sustaining. It’s a quiet shift, but an important one.

31/07/2025

Happy International Friendship Day!

In my work and my life, I have experienced no better friends than the sweet Blessed Trinity and the heavenly host.

In counseling and chaplain spaces, I have listened to stories of immense suffering and pain. When I am shaken by the unjust suffering of children, it blesses me to quietly pray in my heart, for the intercession of Child Jesus. When I sense a dark oppression in a person's life, a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit has kept me grounded in trust--anchored in the Lord Who is unseen, yet very real. When I am heartbroken by the breaking of marriages, families, best friendships, and basic trust in communities-- so often entangled in deep knots--I am consoled by Our Lady, Undoer of knots.

What a friend we have in Jesus. What friends we are given for eternity in the angels and saints.

It is also such a gift-- never to be taken for granted-- to have earthly friends who pray for you, pray with you, and walk beside you in the ministry of healing and growth.

I'm not sure if others can see the reviews on my character, which two good girl friends posted for me on this page. I have asked clients and patients not to post public reviews in order to protect their privacy. Instead, they often write directly to me with permission to share--or simply to be known. These two reviews below, however, come from friends who have encouraged me personally and professionally, and their words mean so much.

Woori, thank you for your encouragement: "It's clear from the get-go that Ellice was made for counseling. She listens earnestly, reflects genuine empathy, and speaks with careful wisdom. You can tell Ellice cares about people. She is passionate about mental health, emotional growth, and personal freedom. She is always open to learning more about YOU, so that she can be a better support for YOU."

Woori's words touch me as a friend I stood beside as maid of honor on her wedding day, and as a colleague whose courage I admire in her work serving children in the system. She continues that care at home, loving and nurturing foster children even off the clock. I admire her deeply--and she makes me a better person by being in my life.

Kristen, thank you for your encouragement: "Ellice has been a good friend of mine for a few years now, and I’ve had the pleasure of knowing her personally and professionally. I’ve witnessed her hard work and dedication to her clients, her community, and friends and family. There is no one more thoughtful or caring than she is. She’s gone above and beyond not only as a friend but as a professional to help create free content to assist people during COVID-19. She’s very well educated and always learning to improve her skills. Her ability to listen and respond thoughtfully makes her a great counselor. I am so honored to know her and there truly isn’t anyone out there like her!"

Kristen's words mean so much to me as friends whose support knows no distance, and as a professional I admire her work in development-- helping others' dreams take root and grow.

On this International Friendship Day, I'm reminded that true friendship--whether divine, human, or both--is one of life's greatest gifts. It's a grace to be seen, supported, prayed for, and encouraged. Whether your friendships are near or far, quiet or loud, eternal or earthly--I hope you feel held by love today.

And if you're someone who stands quietly in the background lifting others up, thank you. You are seen, and you matter more than you know.

Have you ever felt the quiet support of someone praying for you? What did that mean to you?

25/07/2025

Today is Parent Appreciation Day.

It's a lesser-known day in the United States, with most Americans more familiar with Mother's Day or Father's Day. Like those more widely celebrated occasions, today can be filled with joy, love, and gratitude-- or, for some, it can be far more complex.

Working in the field of counseling, I have been touched and honored by the trust people place in the therapeutic process. Some begin by saying, "I don't want to blame my parents for everything, but this is my story..." Others come in with a very clear need to work through wounded love, or damaged trust incurred by their family, which they have carried alone for too long. My aim is to meet people exactly where they are. I hold no desire to promote the breaking of meaningful relationships, and I do believe in the healing power of understanding, truth, and carefully untangling knots.

One of the precious souls I have worked with, shared her reflections while working together, and gave me permission to post them publicly. She wrote:

"We had many goals for therapy. Many of the goals focused on healing through in-law relationships, and we are still on the journey of reaching those goals. However, I see so much progress in myself and my relationships which I am so grateful for! Ellice provided both scientific and biblical practices to work towards my goals. I am appreciative of her willingness to tailor goals often to meet the current needs I am having. I am feeling hopeful about my plan of care to receive even more peace in my family. I am so grateful for Ellice. She is an active listener and provides a space that I can share freely. Her commitment of support is always at the heart of her practice. "

On this Parent Appreciation Day, whether today brings joy, grief, complexity, or calm, I hope you feel free to honor your story exactly as it is. Family relationships shape us deeply, and healing—when needed—is possible. You don’t have to navigate it alone. I’m continually inspired by the courage people show in this work, and I remain grateful to walk alongside those doing the brave, honest work of growth and peace.

I'd love to hear from you--
Who or what are you appreciating today?

23/07/2025

Maybe this is silly. But I am thrilled to be recognized as one of the top fans for the Dominican Sisters of Peace 🎉 They are a beautiful religious order, teaching the truths of the Catholic Church, practicing ecological justice with sustainable farming, practicing good works of mercy with service of health care to the aged and infirmed, and more. My dear Sister Mary Ann Fatula is in this order, as is Sister Charbel Joseph. I wish for everyone to meet and encounter the Lord through these Sisters =)

21/07/2025

I’ve been reflecting lately on the concept of God as the Wounded Healer — a beautiful idea both in theology and psychology.

Personally, I’ve felt most ministered to when walking alongside those who’ve journeyed deeply through their own healing before serving others. There’s something profound in that shared struggle and growth.

During my master’s studies, I learned that psychotherapy students were once required to undergo their own therapy before practicing professionally — a safeguard to prevent harm and improve effectiveness. Though that requirement no longer exists, I chose to invest in my own healing anyway.

What was there to lose by embarking on the journey? Nothing.
What was there to lose if I didn’t? Burning out within five years of working in healing ministry, misusing the counseling space, becoming overwhelmed by others’ wounds, and possibly developing additional problems of my own — and perhaps more. The math was easy.

It was one of the best decisions of my life.

After several years of work, I remember the moment my treating provider completed a final diagnostic assessment. Her eyes widened, her face full of peace as she declared, “You do not qualify for any diagnoses.”

I was stunned. “Really?”

She smiled and showed me the assessment forms — something she said she rarely got to see. “You put in a lot of work. You got here.”

She had to assign a code, so she wrote a particular “Z code” indicating no diagnoses — a rare and joyful outcome.

That moment was a culmination of effort, hope, and healing — proof that transformation is possible.

So today, I want to express deep gratitude: to God for being the Wounded Healer in my life, and to the pastoral care leaders and psychotherapy providers who journeyed with me through brokenness — helping me become part of the circle of the Wounded Healer and the Healing of Wounds.

If you’re in the middle of your own journey, keep going. Healing isn’t always linear, but it is real — and it is worth every step.

I’d love to hear from anyone who feels comfortable to share: what’s one small hope or healing you’ve experienced along your path? Feel free to share in the comments, if you’re comfortable.

15/07/2025

I’m feeling really honored today. A patient recently shared this with me, and it reminded me why this work matters so much.
With their permission, I wanted to share a part of their story—because there’s so much hope here.

She reflected and wrote about her experience working with me: "I started care with Ellice to specifically to tackle disordered eating, wanting to learn how to unlearn decades of behavior that felt out of control. Two and a half years later, I've accomplished so much more than just that - I've learned where those behaviors started and what was continuing to influence them, I've learned how to advocate for myself in relationships, how to recognize stressors and implement skills to minimize impact. I've learned how to start centering myself in my universe - to shift towards an internal locus of control after decades of the opposite. In working with Ellice, she guided me to articulating and actualizing so many different goals and importantly has given me a foundation to stabilize and continue to grow on.

I greatly appreciate that Ellice always presents examples and demonstrated examples of concepts, especially in relation to different world views. She is extremely knowledgeable and shares it in a way that never feels overwhelming. I also appreciate that homework was always valuable, but never mandatory - it made progress feel like an endeavor that was truly at my own pace rather than a to-do list item to check off.

Thank you so much Ellice for all your knowledge, guidance, discussion, and time."

To witness this kind of transformation—from survival to self-trust—is a profound privilege.
And if you’re in the thick of it right now: this is proof that hope is not just possible, it’s powerful.

08/05/2025

01/05/2025

Happy World Laughter Day =)

Today I think of Dr. Steve Wilson, who is not only my teacher who invented laughter therapy, but also is a family friend of my good friend & RCIA sponsor, Mrs. Nikki Veneziano. He worked for decades in the prison system. He observed that every person regardless of background or (dis)ability, is born with the physical capacity to laugh. And, laughter is a very healthy practice. "Laughter can help lessen your stress, depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier. It can also improve your self-esteem." (Mayo Clinic)

I love to laugh. Who or what makes you laugh? When's the last time you laughed?