The Waverly Gazette

The Waverly Gazette We have the news you can't wait to hear! These aren't rumors, these are the real stories of Waverly!

12/23/2022

Merry Christmas to my Ho, Ho, Hos on Waverly! 'Tis the season to be merry and bright. But, if you're a Dallas fan, this Christmas is going to be full of coal! I'll be shaking my pompoms for my Eagles all game long! Hopefully it dries up before game time because all of this rainy weather is making me wet. Now, now Waverly. Calm down. I know some of you just ended up on Santa's naughty list with those thoughts, but not this angel. I'm getting a new car for Christmas, so check out my new wheels cruising down the Drive this weekend. Enjoy your holidays. Stay sober or get bent over, unless you can afford a really good attorney. I think that's how the saying goes. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

10/21/2022

Hey all you Apple Cider Drinkin' and Pumpkin Pickin' cats and kittens! The temperature is dropping in Mansfield, but the sports are heating up! The Phillies and Yankees are swingin' their way through the post-season and that means October can't get any steamier! Except it can, the Philadelphia Eagles are UNDEFEATED! Come on Waverly, let's cheer for the Birds like I do! E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! I know we all agree cheering for Philly is far more entertaining than that trash Mansfield Friends goup. Do we really care about the opinion of those that can't afford to drink wine every night and live on our street? No, not really. That's why me and my neighbor Carole VanHorn don't care what you say about us. We have FU money and you don't.

Don't forget to come trick-or-treating through Mansfield's best neighborhood. Where else can you go and dodge drunk driving scooters and cars? Halloween or not, Waverly is always the scariest street around. We even have the good skittles. ;) Stay Classy Mansfield, and don't forget, Hocus Pocus, don't waste your time trick or treating on Locust.

09/28/2022

HAPPY FALL Y'ALL!!! Or, Basic White Witch Season as I like to call it! Pumpkin Spice and everything that's nice, that's what Waverly is made of! As we exit September and freeze our leggings covered dairy aires off in October, be on the lookout for things that go bump in the night...like a goblin, zombie, car through your neighbors fence, your neighbors headboard, or a neighbor on a scooter. (Why am I just now hearing about this? Two weeks for a tip? Waverly you disappoint me.) I knew things were too quiet around here. Stay classy Waverly! And Go Birds!

09/20/2022

HOW BOUT THEM EAGLES?!?!?!?! Shout out your NFL teams now! No band wagon jumpers!!!

07/30/2022

We are approaching the one year anniversary of the Drive-Thru Installation on Waverly Drive! I would like to form a committee to plan events for the celebration to ensure we honor the history of this great town with the reverence it deserves. I have some ideas of my own I would like to share. Please feel free to share yours as well.

1. A plaque cemented into the ground for future generations to never forget the DUI Charge of 2021. On this spot in 2021, a former Mansfield employee and her friends were the first to go off-roading in their neighbors yards without permission. Fences were mended, but we must never forget - Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.

2. We can do dizzy bat races, but with teams of 4 and two people have to run away and the other two have to run into the fence to win.

3. Instead of pie/watermelon eating contests, we can eat pineapples. This is in lieu of the wife swapping contest I had suggested to my neighbors at the party two weeks ago.

4. We can have it catered by Chick-fil-a since they operate the best drive-throughs in the world and they can show you how it's really done.

5. Whisper down the lane. We whisper a secret we think we know about our neighbors and then see how that secret morphs the drunker and sadder we get. The winner is the one who swears they know the truth the most.

Stay Classy Mansfield!

P.S. The party two weeks ago is the season points leader! Good work! IYKYK

07/08/2022

A woman's work is never done. I go away for a little R&R and I come back to this mess? Y'all need Jesus, and I don't mean to cut your grass and maintain your gardens. I know some of you read that as Hey-Zeus and immediately thought of that 30 days past due invoice you have been holding off on paying because your country club pool membership payment is due this month. This town use to be quiet and country and now it's ritzy and snooty. Y'all want your home values to go up but continue to lower your moral values. All that money, wine, and gossip isn't going to fix your marriage, your schools, or your self-esteem. Stay Classy Mansfield!

06/09/2022

I'm going to need someone on here to spill the tea about Mr. Del Russo's arrest from the high school. Some of my fans have tiptoed around the full story, but I need need someone willing to jump in feet first to give me the scoop. If this story is true, that makes two NBC employees to get arrested in a single year. Someone needs to put their foot down! What is going on at Northern?

06/06/2022

Boyd, I can't wait for this election to be over. Nothing any candidate is going to say will be Goodenough. Somebody isn't going to be happy and they won't hesitate to sink their Talons into their opponents. You're Danned if you do and Danned if you don't. After Tuesday somebody is going to be Brian the blues and there might be Marshall Law in Mansfield! What's small town politics without the Quintossential drama behind the scenes? Hurry up and cat your vote before it's too Kate!

06/06/2022

Is anyone else excited about the upcoming Field Day Parade this Saturday? Our event staff has been working so hard to make this day special for all those in attendance. I can't wait to hear how good you want me to perceive your life to be while the aroma of Cabernet wafts from your lying piehole. Keep it classy Mansfield.

06/02/2022

Traffic in Mansfield is bad. You can't turn left. You can't turn right. Accidents are everywhere. The Homestead traffic light is out of control. 206 is a raceway. Our back country roads are no longer filled with the songs of the whippoorwill and have been replaced by the roar of diesel motors all because the Republican party is beholden to giant corporations! Take back your community Mansfield!

Address

Waverly Drive
Columbus, NJ
08022

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Waverly Gazette posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Category