06/22/2020
A beautiful Fatherâs Day memoriam from .cargle ..
Birthing From Within honors all the fathers and father figures out there - thank you for everything you do.
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I was my dads favorite person and no one can convince me otherwise. During the time that I had him with me I never felt anything less than the center of the universe which, to this day, my mom loves to remind me that I am not đ. For the first 7 years of my life I thought my name was Beautiful , that was all he ever called me. I remember laughing harder than ever, feeling safer than ever, being more comfortable than ever when I was with my dad.
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My father passed away when I was 11 due to kidney failure. The hospital where he had been staying called our home in the middle of the night, I answered. They didnât ask for my mother, they simply said, into my 11 year old ear, âWe called to tell you that Larry Brooks has passedâ and I said thank you and hung up. I walked up the stairs, heart pounding, but no tears showing up just yet, to tell my mom. The next 24 hours were a blur. At his funeral a few days later was the first time I cried about him passing. I cried loud and hard and my grandma hugged and rocked me in the back of the room. But my tears, even at that age, werenât purely grief but gratefulness that I had known such a depth of love.
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I think â I know, rather â that even though I missed his presence over all these years I never ever felt without his love. I was filled to the brim with his affirmations of who I was and how I mattered and that stuck to my bones as they grew.
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I wish so much that he could see me now. That I could lay near him and nap, that I could call him when the exciting things happen, that we could go to drive-in burger spots again in the middle of the night, that he could tell me how much I look like him, that he could introduce me to everyone he meets as âhis beautiful daughter Rachelâ, that he could read my words and hear me speak and he could see that what he poured into me is now in full bloom...