Fact and Focus Question of the week

11/23/2025

Its okay to take a wrong turn.
Its okay to feel the burn.
Its okay to pivot.
Its okay to Live it.

I CAN RECALCULATE!

When you take a wrong turn using your GPS does it berate you? Tell you how you shouldn’t have done that and how you horrible you are? Does it say, “You might as well give up. Whats the point”?
No, but maybe your nervous system does and its challenging to face the truth that our own self can puts us down so much.

I encourage you to thank your self talk for showing up because it believes it is protecting you. I encourage you then to remind yourself:

Its okay to take a wrong turn.
Its okay to feel the burn.
Its okay to pivot.
Its okay to Live it.

I CAN RECALCULATE!

11/23/2025

Fawning = terror on the inside + attending to the other’s needs on the outside

Fawning is a genius survival response to a threatening situation. Whether the situation is threatening your survival in the moment or at another level of the Self, such as not meeting the Self’s need for survival (security, variety, connection, love/acceptance, growth, and contribution), it is still a threat.
If a person is threatening your autonomy, your space to be your authentic self, it is a threat!
Trauma is not what happens to you. It is what happens inside of you in response to any threat to you being who we are at your core.

I used fawning in my personal life and still due when I feel threatened. When people are judgmental…When people may make fun of you or embarrass you…Trauma can occur when there has been betrayal, a loss of the world you knew as safe or a loss of the world you knew period. My personal story is that what I knew was safe was taken away from me on top of growing up with a father who was narcissistic and abused alcohol to the point of rage and gaslighting me post abuse. My mom kept me safe from the world and we were codependent. Then she betrayed me by marrying a man, God rest his soul, after instilling in me that I should never do so because all men cannot be trusted and will harm me during the crucial developmental years, 13-17 yrs of age. She succumbed to his sarcasm (that I felt humiliated by), rules (I felt trapped and suffocated by), and misconstrued my cries for help as me having a problem. Can you say: Scapegoat?! My world became unsafe. I retreated into a shell of myself. I had to keep myself safe.
Im telling you all this in hope that you can catch it early. Be aware that ITS NOT YOU!
Safety is available. Healing is Real. You are Real.

11/19/2025

USA
-4% of the population
-consumes 17% of global primary energy (oil, paper, produces, etc.)
-responsible for 50% of the globe's solid waste.

Discussion:
-Why do you think this is?
-What can be done individually? nationally? globally?

11/04/2025

Couples Therapy Success rates
~ 70% of couples report improvement after therapy.

WoW😮

Are You Both Ready for Couples Therapy??
Here are at least 3 Questions to ask yourselves before making the investment in your relationship, time, energy, and resources:
1. Do you BOTH want to work on a solutions and build your Connection?
2. Are you BOTH open to learning more effective Communication Skills?
If the above Two are Hell YES, then you may be a part of the >70% of couples that benefit from Therapy.
Next, hire a therapist.
3. Do you BOTH like the therapist? Sometimes, we need to give things more than one chance, sometimes, we know right away. Communicate (there's that word again), with your partner to decide whether to stick with the therapist. On one side of the spectrum, we need persistence to change for the better. On other side of the spectrum, things just feel out of alignment and we need to listen to our Gut.

Resource/s:
https://www.greenwichpsychology.com/does-couples-therapy-work-guide/ #:~:text=Around%2070%25%20of%20couples%20report,rates%20of%20up%20to%2075%25.

10/21/2025

Accountability = ~10x Success of Goal Achievement

Simply having a goal: 10% success rate
Public commitment only: 65% success rate
W/ Accountability partner: 95% success rate

How ACCOUNTABILITY Fosters SUCCESS:

Provides STRUCTURED Support: Consistent check-ins, helping to keep you on track & committed, especially when challenges arise.

Increases MOTIVATION: The commitment to another person provides a powerful source of motivation, helping you stay ENERGIZED & FOCUSED.

Enhances Problem-Solving: Better decision-making & INNOVATIVE solutions.

CLARIFIES Goals: Encourages detailed planning and helps break down > objectives into < Manageable steps.

Fosters Ownership & Pride: OWNERSHIP = leading to > morale & Life satisfaction.

RESOURCES:
-https://www.afcpe.org/news-and-publications/the-standard/2018-3/the-power-of-accountability/
-https://medium.com//accountability-partners-are-great-but-success-partners-will-change-your-life-8850ac0efa04

The difference between “accountability” and “excitement.”

10/19/2025

Are You EXHAUSTED?! Learn what of the 8 TYPES of Exhaustion you could be feeling and share below👇 Emotional, Mental, Physical, Environmental, Survival, Social, Spiritual

10/17/2025

Permission to feel?
Yes
I give you permission to feel
I don’t need to always show how I feel
I can acknowledge it within me whether or not I choose to express it
I can feel. I be free. I can share how I feel when its safe for me
I can create a safe place to feel
I can live in a creative space for me to transform my feelings
Go Me!

10/17/2025

Receiving love can be risky.
Most of us have trusted someone to love us the way we knew love and thought they understood that, then failed or disappointed us.
Many of us have trusted someone too soon and it turned out they didn’t have integrity.
A lot of us have been manipulated and left jaded, untrusting of people.
Many of us have not learned to trust ourselves to recognize red/yellow flags, set boundaries and reinforce them because we haven’t had practice with the right people while treating ourselves with the right treatment - respect, kindness, care, etc.
I encourage us to find and take time to be around people who show us who they are and stay consistent.
Develop a routine of shutting out the noise to be with just you in honorable and playful ways.
♥️

With Patience & Love,
Tess & the IYT Team!

09/13/2025

You don’t have a WEIGHT problem or an EATING problem, or even a lack of Exercise problem.
Yes, You have chronic STRESS problem!
The solution is NOT more exercise, more stagnant passive resting, or eating “right”.
What a relief, right?!

If the problem is Stress, we need the Antidote. The antidote is Not trying not to stress or forcing yourself to do things you Don’t want to do. No way! Its the opposite.
Its surrendering to certain human conditions and factors not within your immediate control, focusing on the limited things we can control to get clarity and breathe BETTER. It’s finding what turns your LIGHT on, what makes you feel ALIVE, and FOCUSING on CREATING what Works to the point that the barriers are virtually non existent.

If this resonates for you, whether you have heard it before or for the first time, Understand that it is not possible to sustain without the right HABITS and SUPPORT, so…
Don’t think I am going to leave you hanging.
Yes, I am going to provide you with the resources and support you NEED to have the Life You WANT.
Start by booking a session with the Its Your Therapy Team.👇
https://itsyourtherapy.com/

08/22/2025

Do you feel GUILTY for Resting?
Do you label yourself LAZY?

FUN FACTS
-focused bursts of work, like a Pomodoro (25 minutes), followed by short breaks, are more effective than trying to work continuously.
-Rest-the brain uses downtime to consolidate memories & solve problems.
-a 10-20 minute nap can significantly improve focus & memory, --a 4 day workweek can yield the same results as a 5 day one

https://luxafor.com/top-10-surprising-productivity-related-facts-and-statistics/

08/21/2025

Ever wonder the difference between a Life Coach and A Mental Health Counselor from MH counselor’s perspective?

This is not extensive, but it is what I have gathered and gauged after a decade as a mental health counselor and watching the Life Coaching industry boom.

Traditionally speaking, the main differences are…
Life coaching:
-does not diagnose or treat disorders
-focus in on goal achievement
- a forward future based approach
-Uses MI (motovational interviewing), CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and person centered therapy techniques like paraphrasing, unconditional positive regard, active listening, mirroring, and being attuned to their client
-is not regulated and does not require a license
-can call themselves life coach, health coach, weath coach, wellness coach, ______coach…
-main clientele is high functioning, goal and achievement orientated, seeking soecific goals for specific issues like expanding their business, finding a life partner, etc.

Mental Health Counseling:
-focuses on the psychological issues underlying what may be preventing one from their dreams and goals or just a higher level of functioning
-there are many more modalities utilized in therapy especially depending on the needs of the client due
to more types of issues address in therapy like ADHD, OCD, NPD, BPD, anxiety, depression, Autism, behavioral disorders, sexual dysfunctions, familial conflicts, couples conflicts, etc.

As you can see, they are two distinct types of one on one relationships that help meet people where they are at to meet specific needs and goals for that season, reason, or life time. One is not better than the other, in my opinion.
Full disclosure: I now have BOTH!
More support is always encouraged 🩵🙏🏻‼️

08/17/2025

6 Questions to Unstick any Disagreement

Are You and Your Partner STUCK…?

…SICK & TIRED, BORED, EXHAUSTED From having the SAME DISAGREEMENTS / Annoying Discussions with your partner that seem to persist and repeat without resolution?

It’s like beating your head against the wall, right?!?

Become UNSTUCK now!

According to the Gottman Institute, 87% of couples become unstuck in their perpetual repeating disagreements when they ask these 6 questions to one another:

1. What are your beliefs, values, and ethics that are part of your position on this issue?
2. Do you have background/history that relates to your position?
3. What makes this position deeply important to you?
4. What do you feel about your position?
5. What is your ideal dream here that underlies your position on this issue?
6. Is there some deep life purpose, meaning, or goal that is really important that is a part of your position on this issue?

Wow-
Can you see the layers of discovery that could be had between you and partner with these tried and tested questions?
Can you guess the amount of understanding and insight that can come from them?
How might understanding one another this deeply shape your intimacy?

Note: This can only work when Each partner takes the time and effort to achieve the listener role, putting their position aside for the moment to hear and understand the other using Sincere Curiosity and Interest in learning about what is so important to the other that they have taken such a strong position on the issue.

Another Note For You:
Even if you are the only one in the relationship that does this, can you imagine your own insight and awareness of people and their convictions deepening your
understanding of them?
Can you imagine your stress level decreasing as you discover the true meaning for why people do what they do, what motivates them, and that it is NOT YOU!?!
Can you imagine the discoveries you can make about yourself in your own reflection with a new and more insightful perspective?

Comment below if this was helpful and/or DM me regarding your thoughts.
If you and your partner are looking to do a Deeper Dive into the issues of your union, look no further. Couples/Partnership Counseling is available.
Call/Text: 561-899-9332
Www.ItsYourTherapy.com

Discover compassionate online psychotherapy services in Florida, guiding you on your mental health journey towards personal growth.