Merri 'The Gamer' Garcia

11/16/2025

I like that some businesses use motion sensor lights to cut down on electricity costs - I don't like that they put them in the restrooms.

*light goes out*

*frantically waves arms until they turn back on*

I'm trying to p**p in here!

11/05/2025

Let's have a Kodiak moment.

11/04/2025

Just dropping some clips from a show I did in Beeville, Texas at the La Linea Wine Bar. It's a snazzy venue, with a great atmosphere, I always love performing there. 🤞To coming back

11/03/2025

Dating in 2025 be like..

11/03/2025

My body is a finely tuned machine, it wakes me up every day at 7:30a to p*e - no exceptions, not even for daylight saving time. 😒

10/29/2025

https://www.ticketleap.events/tickets/cc-comedy/night-of-the-laughing-dead

🎭 Night of the Laughing Dead A Halloween & Día de los Mu***os Comedy Showcase 📅 Friday, November 1st ⏰ Showtime: 8:00 PM 📍 Eirinis, Corpus Christi, TX Get ready for a spooky night full of killer laughs! Night of the Laughing Dead brings together Halloween, Día de los Mu***os, and s

10/16/2025

I like to give my dog empty toilet paper rolls because I'm poor, and he LOVES to tear them up.

It's escalated to receipts I don't need and now empty Amazon packages.

I've basically got a personal paper shredder, so if you've got any sensitive documents that you want shredded and drool on - let me know!

He'll take care of it faster than you can say, "What's in your mouth?"

Serious inquiries only - I know what I have.

Will accept dentastix, milk bones, and bacon as payment. 🐶

10/11/2025

Caption THIS! I think it looks like a still from an old music video. 😂

10/11/2025

Photos of the other comedians that I took, they all did a great job, I love seeing our scene grow. It makes me so happy. ☺️

10/11/2025

What a night! I had been scheduled to work, but by some miracle, didn't have to go in. The Comedy Gods were smiling upon me, and I was able to make the show at the Ortiz Event Center, put on by such a cool guy, John Olmeda, what a guy! He doesn't do comedy often, but he did a great job putting on this show AND telling jokes!

I look forward to the next one, however long it takes, two years, five years, twelve years, I'm here for it!

Thank you so much for having me, it was such a blast and I can't wait for the next one!

Much love,
Merri

P.S. The brisket sandwiches were soooo good.

10/07/2025

*buys v**e*

*loses v**e*

*buys another v**e*

*loses that v**e*

*buys another v**e*

*stashes v**e to not lose it*

*finds all the other v**es*

😒 😅 😂 🤷

10/04/2025

Have you ever seen a pet so ugly it was cute?

They're still getting pet and I'm still speaking in a baby voice, but the words are a li'l different.

"Aww, you're so cute! Lemme pet you!"

vs

"Aww, you're so ugly! Lemme pet you!"

The reactions are still the same, if they're friendly, bring on the pats.

If they're not, they growl/hiss/swat. 😂

Gosh, I love them.