The Diplomatic Scribe

02/22/2018

Hey Everyone,

As promised, an update ...

I've decided to develop The Diplomatic Scribe as a publishing company. My first product:

BYE BYE BAD BOUNDARIES, a "Book of Scripts" series to help women...

Say NO.

Speak up for themselves

and

Set boundaries ...

EVEN WHEN OTHERS ARE RELUCTANT TO LISTEN.

I call these scripts "conversation-starters" because the hardest thing to do is START that tough conversation.

But that's not all.

I created Bye Bye Boundaries: The SUPPORT CENTER, as well. Right here on Facebook!

This Page is to support a very specific type of woman:

Professional, ambitious and high-achieving. HOWEVER, due to bad boundaries, she finds it hard to ...

* * Start or scale a business.

* * Go after the big promotion.

* * Succeed in that new, high-level role in her company.

* * Get her financial house in order.

* * Serve God (saved the best for last).

No male bashing. No venting about how HE "done you wrong". No therapy-type convos.

Just solid backing in setting limits so you can achieve something important.

02/16/2018

Hey, it’s been “a minute” since I’ve posted here. I offer NO excuses — though I have two good reasons for my absence.

1. Family Crises

My Dad is a widower and my sister is unmarried and both suffered health crises at the same time!! Yikes!

So I took on new responsibilities that drained the “brain energy” necessary to keep up with this platform.

2. Figuring out my Business Direction

Full transparency: When I created this page, I wasn’t REALLY sure where I was headed, business-wise.

The Diplomatic Scribe was — is — all about helping professionals initiate tough conversations.

Specifically writing scripts for these conversation-starters.

But when a few people I respected expressed doubt as to how I could MONETIZE helping people converse, ...

I. Began. To Doubt. Too.

Not their fault. I really couldn’t tell them how I planned to make money.

Anyway, since I’ve always described my field as “high-risk” communication, I began to consider other areas of interest within that space.

I like to watch and read public statements and comments, and then critique them. Weird hobby, I know.

But, bingo! My plan was for The Diplomatic Scribe to focus on crafting public statements on behalf of high-profile individuals dealing with a crisis or scandal. Yeah, it’s a mouthful!

But again, I am embroiled in my own crisis. So I couldn’t contemplate a life where I’d have to be *on call* responding to the crises of others.

I took time to think, think, think. About where I want the business to go. About how I want to live my life.

Nothing like a crisis to get you to start thinking FOR REAL.

Check back within the next 2 weeks for an update on how things are going.

Oh - and speaking of starting difficult conversations ... I’ve learned the toughest conversation to start is the one you need to have with yourself.

Talk soon!

05/01/2016

STRESSFUL PERSONAL CONVERSATION TIP ABOUT BREAKING UP:

I'm playing Dr. Phil today! Take a look at this common question from a self-described Nice Guy about the "best" way to break up with his girlfriend.

QUESTION:

"Is there another way to say, 'It's ME, not you', when breaking up with someone, without it sounding like a cheesy lie? My girlfriend is great. I just can't focus on a relationship right now with my demanding career and family problems. So when I say 'It's Me', I mean it."

ANSWER:

GOOD: "I can't be in a relationship right now -- with anyone."

BETTER: "You know I have a lot going on at work, and my family issues aren't getting better. I'm not so sure I can give this relationship the time it needs."

BEST: You know I have a lot going on at work, and my family issues aren't getting better.The problem is ... I haven't yet learned how to handle stressful life situations AND keep a girlfriend happy. So until I do, I don't think I can give this relationship the time it needs."

Why I think that's best:

1. You're letting her know *exactly* what's going on with you.

2. You're taking responsibility for not being able to deal with those issues and hold on to your relationship.

3. The phrase, "can't keep a girlfriend happy" works because no woman in her right mind wants to stay in a relationship where she'll be unhappy. So it serves as a gentle warning.

If you notice, my advice focuses on language -- finding the right words and phrases that will render your message more palatable.

* Questions presented in my Q & A series are *based* on situations experienced by seminar participants, clients, colleagues, friends and family...even myself! I have altered minor facts to protect the innocent AND the guilty! (smile).

04/27/2016

STRESSFUL BUSINESS AND PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS TIP:

OK, so your counterpart in the conversation is mad! You know this because they're speaking rapidly while refusing to let you get a word in; talking over you ... perhaps even yelling!

This simple statement may calm them down: "Something you said really got me thinking."

Note, you didn't say, "You're right", or "I'm such an idiot."

But they will calm down as if you had.

Why? Because all any of us wants is to be heard, appreciated (even if the other person doesn't agree) and that favorite psych term: "validated".

I wish I'd thought of this. Thank you Barbara Bernstein!

04/26/2016

STRESSFUL PERSONAL CONVERSATION TIP:

**Boy, have I Made This Mistake**

Yesterday, I referenced Proverbs 26:4, which states:

"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you, yourself will be just like him."

The following is a list of reasons some folks sound foolish even if they are in fact very intelligent.

1. Pride -- Going head-to-head with them will become a "battle of the wills", a fight that will likely accomplish nothing.

2. Lack of knowledge about the subject matter -- In this case, arguing or showing them that "we know better" exhibits our own prideful nature.

3. Mental illness -- Mental illnesses and disorders can interfere with proper reasoning and logic, especially under stressful circumstances.

Note: I am NOT saying those suffering from mental illness are not smart, logical or reasonable. Rather the stress of life affects them more which can impact their communication style.

4. Emotion: A person who is mad at you, the world, or their circumstances my view life differently which again, can affect how they communicate. Same result when the person is depressed or even slightly frustrated.

Speaking of emotion ...tomorrow I will share a tip on how to calm down an angry person long enough to get them to listen to you.

Stay tuned!

04/25/2016

STRESSFUL PERSONAL CONVERSATION TIP:

Whether or not you believe in the bible, the Good Book contains some genius communications tips.

Proverbs 26:4 states: "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you, yourself will be just like him."

In short this means do not lower yourself to argue with someone who is not making sense.

Tomorrow I will share insight on what could be going on in the mind of such a person, AND share a tip or two on how to respond under those circumstances.

Stay tuned!

04/18/2016

STRESSFUL PERSONAL CONVERSATION TIP:

"How to Break Up Without Breaking Hearts" (for single guys).

Guys, the break up conversation is hard enough, without hearing the old and crusty line: "It's ME, not you."

If, in fact you ARE the problem, however, the best way to get her to believe you is to start off listing your offences. For example ...

"Remember when we were out to dinner on your birthday and you had to pay because my credit card was rejected?

And when you asked me to pick you up from work because your car was in the shop -- and I forgot???

Well, those are just a few examples of why we can't be together right now. I'm so stressed out with my new start-up business I'm completely flaking out on everything else."

04/15/2016

STRESSFUL BUSINESS CONVERSATION TIP:

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is a common response to a customer's anger or frustration. But it can come off sounding robotic, sarcastic and insincere.

If you're *really* sorry -- say something like: "I know you're frustrated. I am too -- disappointing customers is the worst part of my job.And for that, I'm truly sorry."

04/14/2016

STRESSFUL BUSINESS CONVERSATION TIP:

NEVER deliver bad news -- or say no -- to a customer without providing hope. Options for a new solution.

Use the word "however" often, and phrases like, "Here's what I CAN do", 'I'm going to ask my supervisor if I can provide another option ...", "Let me think about this and get back to you later today".

And when you absolutely can't fix the first problem, provide them with a new reason to remain on your customer list.

01/21/2016

Are you having problems communicating with male colleagues -- even the nice guys?

Do they appear to ignore your contributions, interrupt you when you talk, or fail to see you as the subject matter expert?

Are you looking for a resource that will guide you in WHAT to say under certain circumstances -- WITHOUT a lot of fluff and theory?

The e-Advice Guide, "Managing Male Egos at Work and in Business" contains over 30 scripts you can apply to your situation immediately! No theory -- just "Here's what to say when this happens" logic.

Visit www.ManageMaleEgosatWork.com

As a man I hate to admit, Melzetta is dead on about how some men treat women in the workplace. This guide is a must read for any woman who seeks respect in the male-dominated business world.

09/16/2015

STRESSFUL BUSINESS CONVERSATION TIP: Change of Plans: Instead of the Body Odor Script, I am responding to popular demand, and will provide a script to help those who are dealing with CLIENTS WHO DON'T PAY ON TIME.

The Question:

"Is it acceptable to send a gentle reminder to a client whose invoice is due to be paid today? Or should I wait for them to be late, then get in touch? I don't want to come across as rude or pushy."

Say something like: "Your payment is due today, but before you send it in I want to know if there's anything else I can do for you."

This response shows that you're interested in their satisfaction while hopefully learning where you stand with the payment (if they sent it in, or about to, they will tell you hopefully).

This technique works best BEFORE you send out the invoice, but it can work for you at this point as well.

If they say, "No, everything's good", you'll avoid the "I didn't pay because I wasn't happy with the work" excuse.

If they say, "yes" well, you risk doing more work, but at least you'd have fixed the "problem", giving them no excuse to avoid paying the bill. By the way, most clients can't think quickly enough on their feet to make something up on the spot.

09/13/2015

The Diplomatic Scribe is a ghostwriting and communications coaching service. Using customized scripts, I help influential professionals craft and deliver delicate and sensitive messages tactfully.

What kind of messages? Any workplace communication that, if not handled directly, can lead to dire consequences!

FOR EXAMPLE

Saying No
Delivering Bad News
Presenting Performance Reviews
Asking for a Raise or Promotion
Promoting Raise-worthy Accomplishments or Ideas
Asking for What You Need
Communicating with a "Difficult" boss, colleague or client