Scoopertino

04/21/2025

Deep Musk news break: DOGE replaces 20,000 park rangers with Tesla robots https://bit.ly/4jD6SjH

04/02/2025

New on Deep Musk today. Musk not at all happy about Wisconsin, wants his money back! bit.ly/4cpQHU0

03/26/2025

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100% fake news, delivered fresh weekly

03/26/2025

Scoopertino has given birth! Come visit our new site at deepmusk.com.

100% fake news, delivered fresh weekly

11/04/2021

After two long years, Jony Ive has finally unveiled the first new work from his new design firm, LoveFrom. It's classic Ive!

LoveFrom takes the comma to new heights at its new London digs LONDON — More than two long years after design guru Jony Ive left Apple to open his own design firm—LoveFrom—he’s unveiled his first n…

02/26/2020

APPLE REVEALS PLUS-MINUS-MAX-MINI NAMING SCHEME

SUNNYVALE — Phew. After years of complaints from Apple customers about perplexing product names, sanity finally returns.
Say goodbye to absurdities like iPhone XS Max and hello to clever, more creative names like iPhone 11S Plus Max Mini SE.

Armed with the rumors beginning to appear about the new AirPods Pro Lite earphones in the pipeline, Scoopertino cornered Apple’s Phil Schiller—who spilled the beans.
Here are excerpts from our interview.

SCOOPERTINO: So great to bump into you here at KFC, Phil. Let’s jump into it. Are we really going to get AirPods Pro Lite soon?

SCHILLER: Absolutely. You’re going to love them.

SCOOPERTINO: Can you explain the logic of the name? Seems a little odd, doesn’t it?

SCHILLER: It’s not about oddness, it’s about courage. Only Apple has the courage to name products like this. And it makes a lot of sense—AirPods Pro Lite will have the Pro features you love, minus a few features you might also love. So you get Pro, and you get Lite. Make sense?

SCOOPERTINO: But if you take away the Pro features, aren’t they just plain AirPods?

SCHILLER: You don’t get it, do you.

SCOOPERTINO: Do you see this logic carrying over to other products as well, like iPhone?

SCHILLER: Totally. You’re expecting an iPhone 11S Pro Max next year, right? If we add and remove a few features, we could easily create an iPhone 11S Pro Max Plus Minus.

SCOOPERTINO: Interesting. But I’m still a little fuzzy on one thing. What exactly is the difference between Max, Pro and Plus? Aren’t they all just shades of the same thing?

SCHILLER: I can’t get into the secret stuff.

SCOOPERTINO: What about the SE moniker? Those letters were always puzzling.

SCHILLER: Funny story. We were talking about making a “super exciting” phone, and it just kind of stuck. But with our expanded thinking, the door is wide open for LE products as well, for customers who prefer a “low excitement” experience. Maybe they have heart conditions or something.

SCOOPERTINO: So, uh, iPhone 11S Max Plus Minus LE?

SCHILLER: It’s a natural.

SCOOPERTINO: Interesting. What about Apple TV? A lot of people wonder where that’s going.

SCHILLER: Different product, same philosophy. If the Plus product doesn’t match your needs, wouldn’t it be great if you could add a few Minuses? Or even more Pluses? Maybe the right product for you would be an Apple TV +-+-.

SCOOPERTINO: Seriously? I guess anything’s possible then? Like an iMac Pro Plus Minus Max Mini?

SCHILLER: There ya go. Infinite possibilities = happy customers.

SCOOPERTINO: Well, a big thanks to Phil Schiller, Apple’s VP Worldwide Product Marketing, for taking the time to talk to us.

SCHILLER: Correction, I have a new title. I’m now VP Worldwide Product Marketing Minus Bolivia Minus Online Plus Apple Park Maintenance.

SCOOOPERTINO: Good lord.

07/10/2019

Yes, it's true. In a world where fake news is more valuable than ever, SCOOPERTINO IS BACK. All the news that's fit to fabricate—starting with the unreal news on Jony Ive's exit from Apple.

Cupertino — First came frustration. Then mind-numbing boredom. And finally, excruciating torture. According to the legendary recently-resigned Chief of Design, 27 years inside Apple was a “living h…

05/02/2017

EXPOSED: THE IMAC DISASTER THAT ALMOST WAS

San Francisco, CA — Its easy to appreciate iMac's place in Apple history today.

Not so much back in 1998.

In fact, Apples concerns over the brand-new computers viability had the company scrambling.

The surprising story comes to light in "iMaculate Conception: How Apple's iMac Was Born," a new book from former Apple marketing executive, Frederica Woods.

As Ms. Woods spins the tale, it was just weeks before iMac's first Christmas in 1998 when slowing holiday sales rang the alarm in the CEO's office.

Steve Jobs, a lifelong fan of James Bond (he'd originally wanted to name the revolutionary computer "Double-O-Mac”), instructed his agency to begin work on a special celebrity Christmas ad featuring 007 himself, Sean Connery — even though Connery had yet to be signed.

The ad was of dubious quality, clearly not one of the agency's finer moments, says Woods.

Though Steve had a thing for Sean Connery, the feeling was not mutual. Connery was appalled by the advert Jobs sent across the pond and declined to participate in the misadventure on at least three separate occasions.

Connery's final rejection was accompanied by a note revealing one mightily peeved film star (see letter below).

Needless to say, iMac managed to survive without extraordinary measures.

"iMaculate Conception" reveals a number of other interesting iMac-related stories. Ms. Woods details the true origin of the failed hockey-puck mouse design — a burnt English muffin. She also tells the heart-thumping tale of Jony Ive's hernia, suffered when he attempted to actually pick up an iMac by its handle.

The book will be available at Barnes & Noble and other stores on June 27th.

05/05/2015

Cupertino — Worried that your cool arm tattoo will spoil the fun of your Apple Watch? Don’t. Responding to reports that tattoos interfere with Apple Watch functions, Apple has acted quickly to alla...

09/20/2014

Apple Ring. Smaller than smaller.

09/20/2014

http://scoopertino.com/apple-drops-wearable-bombshell-2/

Cupertino, CA — Last week, Apple moved to the wrist. This week, it goes farther — all the way to the finger. At a special event today, Tim Cook & Co. announced Apple Ring. Designed to be worn o...

07/25/2014

Nature 2.0, Yosemite style.