08/04/2019
I still wake up wishing you were here. So much has happened since you have been gone. Its so strange how life continues on without you. I thought I would never be okay again. My life felt like it ended when yours did. We both died in different ways that day. The pain and sadness that followed is unbearable and crashed into me, knocking me down. I felt broken and lost. I never knew how truly codependent I was on our friendship. My everyday life was filled up with you amd Tommy. P**F, just like that yall were gone. Yall were such an amazing positive light in my life. And then it got dark. My light was gone. I have been trying so hard to get it back. Every now and then it flickers. You could always feel what I was feeling and tell me what I was thinking. I miss having you around me. You were always so tuned into the energy around us. I can think of countless times where your intuition or 6th sense helped guide me down the correct path. You could sense what was going on with me. Whenever I was sick you would tell me exactly what was wrong, bring me medicine, and food. You would explain the cause and effects of whatever my ailments were. I could use that now. I got 3 major things wrong with me amd I could use your expert opinions. You would be graduating from Stetson and going on to get your master's in medicine. I was so proud of all that you acomplished. You were tenacious and driven. You were always the strong one even though you never felt like it. Gosh I miss you so much. As I write I am having so many different memories flash through my mind and now Im lol with tears running down my face. I wish I would look up from writing this and see your face instead of this big empty space.