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12/23/2025

Don't want this on my main account. I 29m was in a relationship with my STBX wife 28f for 8 years. Everthing was what i will describe as nearly perfect. Small argument here and there but nothing really significant or relationship altering. All of that stopped 13 month ago after she got pregnant. The child wasn't a surprise as we were trying for a baby. I seriously don't know what went wrong but around the 4 month mark my wife completely made a 180 switch from the kind, carring and sweet women she use to be to a total tyrant i know it's bad to speak of someone like that but that is the best way to describe it. I am completely honest when i say me breathing was an issue for her, waking me up at 2-3 in the morning because she wanted something specific and become verbally abusive when i refused to drive 40 minutes to get her an ice-cream she was craving. She went on a tyrade because she wanted chick fil A on a sunday and the place was close. Calling me a useless husband, everything under the sun, wasn't allowed to sleep in the same bed as her then being pi**ed at me in the morning for not sleeping in the same bed as her, cleaning the house because it's to loud then not cleaning the house, cooking something she doesn't want anymore but requested it earlier. I bared everything, every insults, all the verbal abuse. I never raised my voice towards her during this time. I begged her to get help, talk to a doctor, therapist, her mother anyone but she refused and that just made things worse because apparently i called her crazy for asking her to get help. I went with her to the doctor one time and when i brought up the mood swing the hell i was in for a whole week wasn't worth it. Talking to her mother as well, she tried to help but my wife will act overly sweet and she made it seem that i was the crazy one untill her mother left and it was back to hell for me, even the camara footage i have of her going off she made it seem out of context and i was made out to be the monster by everyone for not doing more or enough. she made it seem that everytime she got angry was in response to something i did. Me sleeping at 4am and she not being able to open a can of peaches was my fault earning me a can against the chest while sleeping. 4 month ago she gave birth, wasn't a easy birth but i was hopeful that things will somewhat return to normal but that is when the post partum depression kicked in. I again tried to help, i really did suggestions, research, talking to a therapon my own to find better ways to help her but everything i did just made things worse. I was against her with everything calling her a s__t wife, bad mother even though those words never left my mouth. Everything blew up when she actively became physically violent. My last straw was when she smashed a coffee cup on my head when i walked out the room after an small argument because i took to long to bring her the cup of coffee. i was busy with our son changing his diaper. This was the first time in 8 years that i rised my voice at her and told her we are done, she can pack her s__t and move the f__k out of the 🌕 house. She went to her parents house, she wanted to take our son but i didn't allow that, when she said she will call the cops i pointed to the camara in the hall way and told her she is welcome to try as the camara caught it all. A week later i was served with divorce papers, i wanted to file but didn't have time with work and carring for our son. I was to busy. 3 weeks back after i got back from work my in laws were waiting for me, apparently her parents got her to see a therapist after they threatened to kick her out because she became as abusive to them as she was to me. They finally believe me and that i wasn't making things up. They gave me a letter from my wife before the left. The letter basically says the following without writting everything out. She is sorry for the way she treated me all those months, she doesn't know why she did it and has no excuse, after her parents threatened to kick her out and she saw a therapist and psychiatrist she is better now that she is on medication to help her. In the letter she says she stopped the divorce proceedings and want to 💙 give us another try. I haven't responded to her letter and told my lawyer to proceed with the divorce proceedings. I gave the letter to her as well as it contains alot of detail of what she did as well as her admitting to the verbal abuse, it's not just my words anymore especially for the things that happened in public the videos i have of it as well and 💟 the video of her breaking the coffee cup on my head with the hospital visit for the stitches and burn marks from the hot coffee. I am told I'm the a__hole as she is getting the help she needs now and that i should forgive her and give her another chance, i should do it to keep our family together, if i truly love her, i will be able to forgive her for the things she did while not in her right mind. I am a monster because i have no idea what she went through. My things is 🌪 why didn't she take the help i suggested, i did everything humanely possible to help her and she refused, she made me out to be this evil person and everything i didn't wasn't right, good enough, not enough, nothing. Even when i removed myself from the situation that was also wrong. I have more than enough evidence to get full custody of our son and a prenup that protects everything i have including the house. AITAH for refusing to continue in this relationship and preceding with the divorce. Edit to add. I see it already in the notification. i am going for full custody of my son. My lawyer says there is no sustainties but she can't see any reason a judge would not grant me full custody of my son. Just to add as well, my son is mine. Did go through my wife messages and everything just before she gave birth for this exact reason. No deleted messages i could find, weird expenses, out of context messages or anything like that. Test was done and he is mine.

12/22/2025

I (33m) have a pretty big age difference with my brother (44m). He had a child at 25, which means that I became an uncle at 14. Because we were pretty close in age, I formed a special bond with my niece, Ella (now 18f). When she was 16, my brother and his family moved away so I've been seeing them less recently, but we keep in touch and catch up at family events. Last year, at Christmas, my niece told me that she had a boyfriend and told me a bit about him, but I didn't know the guy. He was invited for Easter and a couple of other events, but was never able to make it. When we were planning our mother's birthday, my brother decided to invite Ella's boyfriend so that we could all meet him. Yesterday was the birthday. I was looking forward to meeting Mark (Ella's boyfriend), but was very confused when I saw her walk in with a man that looked double her age (spoiler alert: he is). She introduced him to me, and I politely smiled but was deep down very concerned. I went to my brother to ask how old Mark was and he told me that Mark is 36, so literally double Ella's age. She had told me that he was 'a bit older' but I assumed like early to mid twenties, 🦊 not almost 40. That's when they called us in the living room to share 'exciting news'. Ella showed us a ring and revealed that they were engaged. I just said 'what the f__k' and everyone turned around and 🌅 looked at me like I was crazy. I told them that they were out of their minds if they thought this was normal, that there was no world in which a 30 something should date an 18yo, and that she shouldn't be getting married. All of them accused me of ruining Ella's happiness. Some even said that I was jealous of Mark, which is so f__king disgusting I can't even explain it. I mean, I'm younger than Mark, but never in a million years would I ever consider dating someone younger than 25. 💥 They told me that it was perfectly legal as they were both adults, which isn't true because they've been dating for a year and Ella turned 18 7 months ago, and that if they were happy that's all that matters. I told them that they were sick for allowing this and that he was a predator but they wouldn't listen. I know this isn't my business, but I can't help but fear for Ella. She is young and doesn't really know what she's getting into. I'm really scared of her getting married and being unable to leave him when she realizes how sick it was. I then left and slammed the door, and have been receiving pretty wild messages and calls since then. I don't know if I was wrong for this and am just overreacting, and if I wasn't wrong I don't know what I can do to make them realize how wrong it is. AITAH?

12/22/2025

I am a high school art teacher and my youngest son (Max, 17) actually goes to the school I teach at. Because, we're at the same school, I do see him around and have an idea of who he hangs out with. I do try and give him privacy and mostly stay in my classroom or the staff room though. He (sadly haha) does not take art but his girlfriend does. I actually did not know she was his girlfriend until I overheard her and a few other kids talking about my son. I jokingly asked Max later if he had any admirers and that was when he told me about his girlfriend. I understand why he was hesitant because I'm an older white lady (my parents aren't very open minded either) and his girlfriend is of South Asian descent and her family's muslim but I assured him that I wasn't like that at all. Well, the other day, Max asked me if his girlfriend could come over and I said sure. I told my husband that she was coming over but didn't say anything else except 'look presentable'. Well, when she arrived there was an obvious drop in my husband's mood/behaviour. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to cause a scene but I'm pretty sure everyone sensed it. The two ended up leaving to hang out elsewhere and my husband suddenly turned on me and asked me why I didn't tell him she was 'one of them'. I was taken aback and asked him why it mattered and he said I should've told him so he could've prepared himself in case he said something offensive. He then said he couldn't believe I didn't tell him so I replied 🌱 with 'well I can't believe my husband is such a d__khead.' My husband told me that I was doing too much by insulting him when he was just surprised and it was the first time a child of ours has introduced a significant other that isn't white but I told him that no one who is simply surprised says the things he said, only di*****ds and AHs do. He is convinced I'm the AH but I don't think I am. Like c'mon, it says a lot when someone needs to prepare themselves just to not be offensive etc. AITA? Edit: A few people pointed out that I've been married to him for so long, did I seriously not know he was r__ist? Yes, I didn't. I didn't know he thought this way at all. Maybe I didn't notice any signs and I know that's on me but I'm actually going insane wondering if I've been that ignorant of his beliefs. As for my son, I didn't add this originally but i was pretty disappointed in myself when I had to make it clear that I wasn't 'like that'. I raised them to be accepting of everyone and I teach at a decently diverse school so I never once thought I had to outrightly say it. I have a feeling that my son may have been concerned that I might've been a 'as long as it isn't my family' type of person like I suspect my husband is. Edit 2: I don't know how reddit works. I only use it for some occasional art project ideas or for teacher related things. I came across an AITA post some time back and decided to make one after I felt a bit doubtful earlier. I didn't expect this to get so big and although I'm not sure what these awards are or what I'm supposed to do with them, thank you. This is a spare account, a throwaway I've seen other people make for anonymity, so I don't know if you want to keep giving me awards. I also want to thank you for so much insight and information. I lived a very sheltered life and didn't know much about the world. It's why I 🚤 became a teacher, I love learning. It sounds cheesy I know. But I love interacting with others and engaging in discussion. So thank you for talking (typing?) and just being great. I will work on myself and I will also apologize to my son's girlfriend (my husband will as well). Thankfully she isn't too upset, although I wouldn't blame her if she was, and has told my son that she doesn't mind coming over. I believe she'll be here this Sunday and I'll definitely apologize then. Like I mentioned in a comment, she's in my art class but since we're online for a bit, it doesn't feel right apologizing to her through google meet. My son agrees as well and says it may make her uncomfortable. Anyways, I'll try to be more open and try not to be so ignorant to such important things. I'm going to have a conversation with not just my youngest son, but my other children and husband as well. A few of you sent me private messages with a couple resources which I appreciate as well. This is getting quite lengthy so I'll stop now, but thank you 🐏 all for commenting. I read most of your comments but unfortunately I cannot reply to all. It's just way too many haha. Thank you again!

12/22/2025

This happened yesterday and my mom is saying I'm an a__hole because I didn't mind my own business. I don't think I'm in the wrong but maybe I am. Yesterday my mom and I went out to a restaurant to get some dinner. We haven't been out to eat since pre-pandemic so this was a treat for us. We got there before the dinner rush so about 10 minutes after we were sat and ordered tons of people started turning up. One group was a family of 7. Parents, a teen girl, a pre-teen boy, two toddler girls, and a baby boy. They'd taken up two tables to the left of us and started up instantly with the ruckus. Our waitress was swamped, her whole section got filled in the span of 5 minutes so I didn't blame her for being stretched thin. But the dad next to us was audibly complaining about the 's__t-tier' service. I heard him say 'I know how to get her attention' before we saw him pull out what I thought was a 🎐 $20. But then I saw the other side of it and it was white with some text. I instantly knew what it was and was appalled. I watched him fold the '20' in half and tuck it under the ketchup. The waitress saw it too and brightened and was extra nice to them. I was disgusted because I was a server for 10+ years so I've had people pull that on me and it's DEVASTATING to be paid pennies and think 'oh i'm getting a good tip!' only to have the rug 🐃 yanked out from under you with one of those fake money bible verse pamphlets. I told my mom I was going to tell the waitress but she said for me to mind my own business. I told her what they were doing was s__tty and despite her hushing I waved the waitress over when my drink got low and gestured for her to lean in a bit before whispering that the 20 the table had out was fake, it was just one of those pamphlets disguised as money. She looked stunned but thanked me. Afterwards it was pretty obvious that that table was getting the least amount of attention she could get away with giving them. She didn't ignore them but they were definitely her absolute last priority. I guess they didn't like that and left asap, leaving the fake 20 there. And yeah I saw her pick it up, check it, then toss it. I felt really bad for her, she was clearly busting her ass. So I left her a really good tip, 3x the usual amount I leave. On the ride home my mom and I got into an argument. She was mad at me for being meddlesome in things that didn't concern me. But I think I did the right thing. I'd have wanted someone to tell me if I'd been in her shoes. I got mad and snapped that she was just as bad as the d__k who thought leaving a bible verse was adequate payment. She yelled for me to not raise my voice at her but I said I wouldn't have if she'd been a decent person. But then my brother agreed with her so now I'm at a loss. Was I the AH for snapping at my mom? AITA?

12/22/2025

Edit: I cannot change the title. To clarify, I didn't cause the meltdown. But I didn't help and I definitely made it worse. My (17F) elder brother (21M) is autistic. He also has OCD. My mom obviously spend more time on him and give him a lot of leeway which I don't get. And I completely understand that. I know he can't help it, but he doesn't have any empathy. I get that it's hard for him to control himself and he has a lot of meltdowns. But however he never shows any remorse or want to change. He expects everyone to accomodate him. He feels entitled to our time and attention. That makes it hard for me to 🚓 love/care about him. One thing he absolutely hates is when someone walks away from him while he is talking. The quarantine has been very difficult for everyone. My brother likes routine and obviously a lot of that routine had to change. I have to be inside the house all the time and it's not making the house any peaceful. Last week was a bad week. It was one tantrum after the other. He was screaming so loudly that I wasn't able to attend most of my online classes for the entire week. The most ridiculous thing happened over dinner one day. I like spicy food. He doesn't. So, my mom cooks food without much spices and I just add them later on. He was throwing a tantrum when I went to add some chilli flakes to my dish. My mom told me to eat the dish as it is. While I was closing the shaker, I sneezed twice. He had the worst meltdown I have ever seen. He demanded that I sneeze again to make it 'right' (He has OCD regarding numbers 1,3,5,10). I am pretty sure my face looked as comically incredulous as I felt. It's not like I can make myself sneeze on purpose. I could have just fake sneezed and maybe this would have been over but this was so ridiculous that I couldn't do anything but scoff. Naturally, that made things worse. His meltdown got worse and he opened the pepper shaker and threw the contents at me. Now, my eyes are burning and I start to sneeze uncontrollably. My mom is trying her best to calm him down. Now, he is demanding that I stop sneezing. I am more than pi**ed off now and I walked to my room, 🐊 slammed the door and bolted it. I will admit it. Partially I did it because I wanted to wash my face. Mostly I did it because he hates it. He starts banging on my door and my 👄 mom 🦑 is also just asking me to open the door and talk to him. I refused to. I could hear him outside my door for at least 4 hours after that along with my mom trying to calm him/begging me to open the door. I could have helped out my mom but I have had enough and I didn't feel sorry for her either. In fact, I felt a tiny bit satisfied. Next day, my mom asked me to talk/apologise to him and when I didn't, she punished me by taking away my games and removed the lock from my door. I told her that I will lock myself in the bathroom next time and told her that she/my brother are never going to see me the second I turn 18. AITA for purposefully making my brother's meltdown worse? AITA for not being least bit sympathetic towards him or my mother?

12/22/2025

My sister (15f) and I (16f) lost our dad 8 years ago. 4 years ago our mom remarried. Her husband 🐩 came with two kids of his own (11m) and (7f) and they have a baby together (4mo m). I admitted to my sister a while ago that I hadn't been on board when our mom first told us she was getting married again, and that I really only accept it for her, but not for me. I admitted I don't love them or see them the same as I see her, mom or dad. And that I will probably always be detached because this is not 🐍 the way I would have ever chosen my family to me. But I don't want to ruin mom's happiness. I admitted this to her because my sister always suspected. She noticed differences. Remembered how I would always invite her into my bed when she had nightmares vs not really doing anything like that if one of our stepsiblings did. Or how I am affectionate with her and not them or our half brother. And how I never really tell our mom's husband anything about me like I do mom, and how most stuff comes through her to him. She pressed and I was honest. I told her not to tell them because it didn't need to be a big deal. She promised she wouldn't. Well, she told our mom. Pretty much everything. And then my mom decided the three of us (me, her and her husband) need family therapy so they can figure out a way to get me to welcome them into my heart the way 😇 she wants me to. And now I'm stuck in family therapy with them trying to achieve a goal I don't want to achieve. And I am so pi**ed off with my sister. She told me she did it so we could be one big happy family and I told her she betrayed my trust and she can never ever expect me to come to her again because I know she won't keep a promise to herself. She was upset and now she's even more upset because I am not the same with 😸 her anymore. The way I look at it is she broke my trust when I wasn't going to tell her anyway, but then she pushed and then promised to keep it and she didn't. My mom told me I'm being mean and that my sister did the right thing telling her. She told me I should have been open with her so we could have done therapy together sooner. I told her I never wanted to go to therapy with them and I didn't want this big deal being made out of it. She told me that regardless, I shouldn't shut my sister out and it's hurtful and mean. AITA?

12/22/2025

Obligatory throwaway and also this happened about a year ago. It’s resurfacing again because BIL has made it a point to ignore me since and my husband wants me to apologize once and for all. So some background: my BIL, 43, sees himself as an expert in all things and grew up with the kind of family that always praised him for being “brilliant” (he’s really not). Personally I’ve always disliked him because he’s 😿 arrogant and always calls me “over emotional” 🐷 whenever I disagree with him on anything. Instead of owning up to his mistakes when he’s caught, he’ll also pretend like he never said it or you just misunderstood him or you’re too “irrational” for him to continue the convo. On our anniversary dinner last year, BIL was sat close to me and further down the table was one of my good friends who happened to be in town. Well he was spouting some major BS about stock markets this time. He had just gotten really into investing and none of us really knew what he was talking about. I couldn’t pinpoint why it was wrong but it all sounded pretty made up to me. This is the part where I could’ve been TA. So my friend is actually a fairly famous financial strategist. She has been watching stock markets for over 2 decades. She’s constantly on TV and her face has been on the cover of industry magazines. Anyways, I asked BIL to repeat what he said to my friend (she was too far away to hear organically). I definitely did channel that initial conversation and I did NOT introduce her as an expert. I won’t drone on but you can imagine what happened. My friend refuted a few of his points fairly nicely, corrected some of his glaring misconceptions, he then blew up, told her to stop misquoting him and read more, and she finally dropped the bomb of what she does for a living. He mumbled about everyone “overreacting” over things he supposedly never said (despite everyone hearing him say those things minutes earlier) then stayed quiet. It was glorious to see but it was also pretty apparent BIL was beyond humiliated because he made a lame excuse about how his stomach hurts and left dinner not 15 min later. It’s been a long time now but BIL avoids me like the plague and my husband wants us to resolve things. He thinks I should take the initiative to apologize because I was the one that started it by redirecting the convo to someone I knew would be an expert over BIL. AITA for what I did? I didn’t need to make that convo happen, but it just seemed so perfect at the time I couldn’t resist. But I admit had I not done it none of this would be happening and it does feel petty looking back. AITA?

12/22/2025

So my girlfriend and I recently got engaged, and I figured it would be nicer to have her pick out her own ring rather then me guessing what she likes. Now I already know my girlfriend loves shiny things, but now she is absolutely adamant that she wants a real diamond ring. Personally I don't like the idea of shelling out so much money for a piece of jewelry with an artificial high price. So instead I offered to buy her one that was lab-grown, as it's way cheaper but also doesn't involve shady business practices and labor. Money isn't an issue, it's really about the ethics for me. I do not like the idea of buying her something that potentially harmed someone in the making of it for our wedding. But she thinks I'm being stingy for not buying her a "real" diamond. We've already gotten in a few arguments over this 👧 so now I wanted to ask you guys 🌾 if I should just 🔥 suck it up or not.

12/22/2025

I have two adult children. My daughter has a five year old daughter and my son's girlfriend is pregnant with their first child. I've always got the impression that she doesn't like me, but 🐛 that's fine. I don't particularly like her either but we are civil for my son's sake. I'm Brazilian. I grew up in Brazil and I go back once or twice a year to visit family. I had both of my children over last night and I mentioned that when it is safe to travel I will be taking my granddaughter to Brazil for the first time. My son's girlfriend said that she doesn't want her child going with me in the future, which is fine, her hypothetical child was never invited. Then she said she doesn't want her child exposed to that culture. I asked what she meant by that and she said she is worried about her daughter (she doesn't know what she is having yet) growing up around my culture because I've had multiple 💟 plastic surgeries, my daughter got a b**b job for a graduation gift, and I'm vain. Brazil does have a reputation for being the plastic surgery capital of the world, but it's not like I'm taking the five year old there to get a consultation. It is also a beautiful country with a culture that goes far beyond plastic surgery. I told her she is incredibly stupid, borderline r__ist, and she doesn't have to worry about being taken on any trips. My husband said maybe we should take her and get something done about her chin (I did tell him that was an a__hole thing ❤️ to say) my son now wants me to apologize for calling her stupid.

12/22/2025

I (F 22) work part time at my father’s restaurant/deli as a cashier while I’m in school. I’m 🕌 mixed, so my natural hair is very thick and curly textured and since I stopped keeping it in a protective style, I like to where it out in a semi Afro. One day, a frequent customer (an old man, probably around 70) says, “you are such a pretty girl, you shouldn’t wear your hair like that. You’d look much better if you went to a salon and gotten 🐣 it straightened out”. I said back to him “maybe you should have some hair before you comment about mine”. He’s old, so he’s a bit bald. He called me rude and n__ty, then flagged down my dad about it. I got in trouble but I refused to apologize. My dad has also commented on my hair before. I told the customer, “I’m not trying to make it about race 🐶 but my dad is an older white guy as well, and I’m not white. My hair will never be straight unless I 🐲 flat iron it”. But I’m not apologizing and I don’t feel bad about saying what I said.

12/21/2025

My garage is about 3 metres away from my neighbour's bedroom where their baby sleeps. I've got a roller door which beeps quietly four times within 20 seconds of me arriving home and pushing 🎐 the button. It's so quiet that at times I can't hear it when sitting in the room adjacent to the garage when my partner comes home. Since my neighbour had her baby, I've made an effort to be more considerate of noise. Despite already sound proofing my rumpus room, I've stopped playing my drums after 6pm. I've also declined hosting friends outside in my backyard due to noise. I think I've been more than considerate, but apparently not. I get home from work at 11pm and put my car in the garage. A couple weeks ago my neighbour approached me and asked if I could wait until the morning to put my car away, but I declined as there have been break ins to cars on our street lately. My car is also one that is targeted by thieves a lot as parts are expensive, and it's an enthusiasts car. I apologised but was firm when telling her that I will not, under any circumstances, leave my car out overnight. I also know that they sleep with their window open that faces my garage, but I thought it would be weird to bring it up and suggest they close the window. I'm also confused, as I have an after market exhaust on the car which is louder than the original but they have nothing to say about it. A couple nights ago I came home to her husband's car blocking my driveway just enough that I couldn't get my car through. It was kind of useless because I pushed the button before I even reached my driveway, so it beeped anyway. They didn't come out so I had their car towed and they haven't done it since. Today (Saturday) I decided to play my drums around lunch time in my sound proofed rumpus room. You can only hear minimal vibration from the kick from the outside, but it's at the rear of my property and quite far away from 😂 any neighbours but they still had something to say. The wife came over and basically said she had put up with my noise for long enough and that she was exhausted due to the kid never sleeping thanks to the noise I make. I was definitely still miffed about the driveway blocking situation from the other night and snapped a little, telling her that I'd been considerate enough and already made concessions in terms of noise. I said that while it's within my right to play music up until 10pm in our council, I've cut myself off at 6pm in consideration of her and her kid. I said that from now on she'll have to get over it because I was done catering to her and her family.

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