07/25/2025
Heterotopic rupture 13 weeks along pregnant with Janyia and her twin. The internal bleeding and loss lead to Janyias brain damage.
"I Was Gone… But I Came Back"
It started like a lightning strike.
A pain so sharp, so violently intense, it ripped through every nerve in my body, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.
It hit so hard, so fast—I collapsed into the fetal position, unable to move, unable to scream.
The pain was too big for words, too loud for sound.
I wasn’t just hurting.
I was vanishing.
Falling in and out of consciousness, surrounded by chaos I couldn’t fully see.
Everything became blurred—doctors, nurses, voices, movement—it all slowed down like a dream fading into a nightmare.
Needles in my veins. Blood transfusions. Machines beeping.
But none of it made sense.
Because I couldn’t process what was happening.
All I knew… was that I was dying.
And still, the pain grew worse. Not pain, exactly—something beyond that.
So severe, it couldn’t be measured or explained.
I could barely breathe.
Each breath felt like the last.
I was gasping—begging my body to keep going, to just hold on a little longer.
Then…
I opened my eyes.
And I saw it.
Not a hospital ceiling.
But a glowing screen—like a drive-in movie playing in the sky.
My life… playing out in scenes.
My childhood. My children.
Past, present… and future.
I saw my boys—older, stronger—walking across a stage in caps and gowns.
They hadn't reached that age yet.
I was seeing something that hadn’t happened.
And I wasn’t in it.
I wasn’t there.
The pain came rushing back.
The breathlessness.
The fading.
I turned my head—barely—and saw my OB by my side, clutching the rails of my bed.
His eyes were filled with something I never expected to see: tears.
He looked broken.
Helpless.
Afraid.
And me?
I could barely whisper the word *“help.”*
That one word took everything I had left.
Then, I saw her.
My grandmother.
My strength.
My warrior. My Queen.
She stood beside me like a soldier holding back tears—but I saw them.
I whispered, “I’m dying.”
And she looked right into my soul and said, “God will be with you.”
Her voice was steady… even as her heart broke.
And then—
Everything went white.
No pain. No body. No noise.
Just… peace.
I was looking down at myself.
I saw them wheeling my body away to trauma OR.
But I wasn’t *in* that body anymore.
And then, darkness.
A void.
I wasn’t human.
I wasn’t *me* anymore.
I didn’t know where I was.
I just knew… I was *gone.*
And I was scared.
I’d never felt so alone.
So empty.
But then, in the far distance—a tiny light.
And a voice.
Familiar.
Warm.
Comforting.
Calling me back.
I moved toward it.
The closer I got, the brighter it became.
And I didn’t feel alone anymore.
I felt… safe.
That voice stayed with me.
And months later, I told my grandmother what I’d heard.
I said, “It was Gianna’s voice.”
Her face went white.
She froze.
I didn’t know it at the time, but while I was unconscious, on life support in a medically induced coma—Gianna had come to visit.
She stood by my bed.
She held my hand.
She whispered to me: *You gotta fight. You gotta come back. The kids need you. You’re not done.*
And right then—every machine I was hooked up to lit up.
Alarms. Monitors. Panic.
Because my spirit…
Came back.
I came back.
---
Jessica Laurie