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The Original Detroit Homeless Free Press LLC

The Original Detroit Homeless Free Press LLC Established in 1993. The Original Detroit Homeless Free Press gives you up to the minute homeless ne Free

Operating as usual

03/21/2022
03/19/2022

We just realized that our head writer has been sleeping for six months. Stay tuned for more stories

04/19/2021

Show us your cat photo's!

04/19/2021

Are you in a vicious cat custody battle? Hire us and we will return your cats back to you. We have a 100% cat retrieval rate since 2014. More than one cat? No problem! We're the number one cat custody battle retrieval service in Detroit. Let us do the dirty work for you and get you back your cats

04/17/2021
This weirdo does NOT work for us
01/14/2021
WHOLE FOODS IN DETROIT 1/1/2021#WHOLEFOODS #DHFP

This weirdo does NOT work for us

The manager whose name is booze decided upon giving me a really hard time earlier at the Whole Foods Market in midtown after I applied for a job there smhema...

Happy Kwanzaa
01/03/2021

Happy Kwanzaa

E-card from another satisfied customer
12/24/2020

E-card from another satisfied customer

Did someone leave their swim trunks in our lobby?
12/24/2020

Did someone leave their swim trunks in our lobby?

12/23/2020
Unlike other homeless news papers we would never charge for reporting issues effecting the homeless in Detroit. We also ...
12/20/2020

Unlike other homeless news papers we would never charge for reporting issues effecting the homeless in Detroit. We also don’t abuse animals by forcing them to work as tech support in order to pay for a drug habit.

12/20/2020
12/18/2020
12/16/2020

We will now have copies in Sterling Heights. Thank you Detroit

12/15/2020
12/15/2020
Did anyone leave their reflective special needs vest in our Lobby? The name Matthew is written on the inside. If anyone ...
12/14/2020

Did anyone leave their reflective special needs vest in our Lobby? The name Matthew is written on the inside. If anyone knows a special needs person named Matthew that is missing their vest please let us know.

Thanks to our #1 fan and imposter
12/14/2020

Thanks to our #1 fan and imposter

It's kind messages like this that keep us going. Thank you Matt!
12/14/2020

It's kind messages like this that keep us going. Thank you Matt!

12/10/2020
Enjoy some free kombucha when you pick up your free copy of our newspaper today. Thank you Detroit. Stay away from meth
12/09/2020

Enjoy some free kombucha when you pick up your free copy of our newspaper today. Thank you Detroit. Stay away from meth

12/09/2020

We will be signing copies of our 27th edition this Friday. Come on down to Bricktown and get yourself a copy. We love you Detroit. Stay off the meth

12/08/2020

Five signs your hobo boyfriend is a complete failure at life. Stories like this and more in our 27th edition coming out Friday

Scumdogs
11/27/2020

Scumdogs

Happy Thanksgiving!
11/27/2020

Happy Thanksgiving!

11/25/2020

Other free homeless newspapers are just a front for a drug habit. Not here. We actually print our newspaper and are currently on our 25th edition. We would never post videos from our apartment claiming to be homeless begging for donations. That would be just wrong

11/25/2020

I stole a turkey this morning but its not going to thaw in time. Does anyone have tips on thawing one quicker? Also, anyone know how long I have to roast this thing over a tire fire? I do not have a meat thermometer

Rufus Hannah is back on the streets, except he's no longer fighting bums. He is a minister at our outreach program and n...
11/21/2020

Rufus Hannah is back on the streets, except he's no longer fighting bums. He is a minister at our outreach program and now he battles Satan. Hallelujah, Rufus!!

Our investigative reporter, Chris Cross, will be on the lookout for anyone trying to sabotage or cause any kind of troub...
11/21/2020

Our investigative reporter, Chris Cross, will be on the lookout for anyone trying to sabotage or cause any kind of trouble on our beautiful streets or at our events. Thank you Chris for being ever so vigilant.

One lucky Detroit homeless person will win our lawn mower giveaway next month. Good luck and we hope you win this Husqva...
11/20/2020

One lucky Detroit homeless person will win our lawn mower giveaway next month. Good luck and we hope you win this Husqvarna MZ61 Zero Turn Mower 61" Deck 27 HP.

11/20/2020
Congratulations to Dennis, "The Beans", Bellamy! He is the winner of our annual, Dream Home Giveaway.
11/20/2020

Congratulations to Dennis, "The Beans", Bellamy! He is the winner of our annual, Dream Home Giveaway.

The notorious imposter is giving our homeless people a bad image. This kind of behavior belongs in the privacy of one's ...
11/20/2020

The notorious imposter is giving our homeless people a bad image. This kind of behavior belongs in the privacy of one's cardboard box. Not in public places. FOR SHAME!!!

11/15/2020

We got word today, from our excellent accountant Sook Mi Wang, that our finances are too low to print a new edition. We here at DHFP LLC take this seriously and will be doing odd jobs around the city, to raise enough money. Remember, DHFP LLC will never ask for handouts or donations. We will do this with blood sweat and tears. Stay tuned and stay informed Detroit. Thank you

Meet our new accountant. He can't drive a vehicle for sh*t but he's a whiz at math. Many thanks and welcome to the team,...
11/12/2020

Meet our new accountant. He can't drive a vehicle for sh*t but he's a whiz at math. Many thanks and welcome to the team, Sook Mi Wang

This slightly worn panhandling shirt was left behind at the Home Sweet Home Ministries shelter. If you have any informat...
11/12/2020

This slightly worn panhandling shirt was left behind at the Home Sweet Home Ministries shelter. If you have any information on the owner tell them to stop on by for a nice Thanksgiving meal.

Extreme homeless militants vow to go to battle in Detroit after Mootz Pizzeria bans them from restrooms and garbage dump...
11/12/2020

Extreme homeless militants vow to go to battle in Detroit after Mootz Pizzeria bans them from restrooms and garbage dumpsters.

In our next edition, our field reporter interviews the imposters at their home
11/11/2020

In our next edition, our field reporter interviews the imposters at their home

It's official folks!! We are now a communist nation. Stay tuned for the latest edition. We will reveal who has the best,...
11/08/2020

It's official folks!! We are now a communist nation. Stay tuned for the latest edition. We will reveal who has the best, bread and toilet paper lines.

11/05/2020

Welp, we were hoping that kim Jong Un would win the election but he didn't even make the ticket. So much for universal income.

11/04/2020

The Mars retrograde is almost over. Horoscopes to follow.

This is what you support if you donate money to our imposters
11/03/2020

This is what you support if you donate money to our imposters

11/03/2020

As the sun crests the city skyline, I am awakened by a city bus roaring by. It's a brisk sunny morning and I struggle to get up and greet the day. Steam from the storm grate that I was sleeping over, keeps me warm and I don't want to move.
As I lazily lay on the sidewalk a commotion grabs my attention. A pigeon and a rat are fighting over a discarded chicken wing. I joined in the tustle and came out the victor with little harm. As I dust myself off and lick my wounds, I am now up and moving. I find a half smoked cigarette on the sidewalk and fire it up with a lighter that I found yesterday. I begin to tremble as DT's take control of my body. I've got to score some smack.
I go to Mootz Pizzeria and begin to panhandle outside of the restaurant. I am quickly chased away by one of the fascist workers. Looks like it's going to be a long day of hard work.

Address

2100 Woodward Ave
Detroit, MI
48201

Telephone

+18668001275

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Comments

Not today s**t torpedo
Local con-couple and notorious smack heads caught boning behind our friendly Captain D's restaurant.
You saw it here first. Scam artist, Matthew Frederick Herman wanted for r**e. Mr. Herman assaulted an overdosed hobo in a dumpster behind Mootz Pizzeria.
Huey Lewis and the News song references in comments on this page is like an attack on the hungry
Dead celebrity sighting Mr. Red Skeleton