Satanic News

02/13/2025

REppin on a budget...Horns! lol

02/11/2025

Hellmouth Religious Services - Lupercalia 2025

A celebration of bodily autonomy, sexual liberation, and reproduction!

February 11th, 2025
Services at 8PM CET and 8PM EST

See you then! 🐐 🧠 📚

CET URL: https://thesatanictemple.tv/programs/live-acbkmjgbeqo

EST URL: https://thesatanictemple.tv/programs/live-f9v9na-eiwi

02/11/2025

The time has come to tap into the music industry. Gather around Minions time to give an ear! OFFICIAL SATANIC NEWS MUSIC NOW STREAMING! In the next several days I will have this song and many more uploading to Amazon, iTunes, Pandora, Spotify, TikTok, and Youtube! Taking over the airwaves one sinner at a time!

01/31/2025

Oldie but goodie lmao

Penny Lane’s funny and absurdly real documentary about The Satanic Temple is worth a watch.

12/04/2024

A new religious release program for students is entering public schools in Marysville, Ohio, and this one emphasizes Satanic studies.

11/01/2024

Why did an Atlanta-based Roman Catholic Archdiocese think we stole their crackers? Did they look for their crackers before calling their lawyers? Are they even missing any crackers?

TST's new 'We Didn’t Steal Your Crackers' tee, hoodie, and tote won't solve the Great Cracker Caper—but they’ll keep the mystery alive.

Shop now: tst.page/crackers

10/17/2024

lets stir the pot

09/29/2024

The trait which unites most branches of Satanism is rejection of a Judeo-Christian deity and the embracing of one’s individualism and strength. Satanism, for the most part, is just a sexier way of being an atheist and any notion of a Devil is merely symbolic. However, theistic Satanic belief

04/16/2024

Jesus pushes open the door of a cozy coffee shop, the aroma of roasted beans instantly lifting his spirits. He spots a familiar figure hunched over a corner table – horns barely concealed by a red and black "Support Local Evil" beanie. It was Satan, radiating annoyance like a broken neon sign.

"Rough morning down under?" Jesus asks with a friendly smile.

Satan slams a crumpled napkin onto the table, nearly knocking over his untouched coffee. "Don't even get me started," he grumbles. "Apparently, there's a new app that lets sinners confess directly to you. Cuts out all the middle demons and the whole fiery brimstone sales pitch."

Jesus chuckles, taking a seat opposite him. "Sounds like progress. Less paperwork for you, less existential dread for them."

Satan sighs, the sound like wind whistling through a graveyard. "Progress? Maybe. But it cuts into my best business – temptation! Used to be, folks had to weigh the risks and rewards, the thrill of the forbidden. Now? They just tap an app and p**f, guilt's gone. Where's the fun in that?"

Jesus takes a sip of his latte, the cinnamon sugar leaving a sweet warmth on his lips. "Well, chin up, old friend. At least you still have the free will market cornered. People can still choose the wrong path, temptations still exist."

Satan perks up slightly, a glint of mischief in his fiery red eyes. "True," he concedes. "Maybe I need to update my marketing strategy. 'Sinning Made Easy: The New App Economy' has a certain ring to it, wouldn't you say?"

Jesus raises an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Perhaps you should stick to the brimstone sales pitch, Satan. It seems to have a certain...charm."

04/16/2024

Jesus walks into Heaven's break room, throws his sandals on the table, and sighs dramatically.

Satan looks up from his infernal crossword puzzle. "Rough day with the humans?"

Jesus rubs his temples. "Don't even get me started. They're fighting about tax cuts again!"

Satan smirks. "Well, you did tell them to render unto Caesar..."

Jesus throws his hands up. "That's not the point! They're so divided, so angry! It's like they forgot the whole 'love thy neighbor' thing!"

Satan chuckles. "Hey, I didn't tempt them to start political parties. That was all their own doing." He taps his pen on the crossword clue. "Five letters, starts with 'D', ends in 'N'. Makes people forget basic human decency."

Jesus groans. "Don't tell me it's 'division' again."

04/06/2024

Just gonna drop this right here