09/20/2026
BREAKING: ARMED SUBJECT WANTED BY POLICE!
For the past several days, a sc****ly clad male has been spotted throughout the area carrying a trident.
Numerous citizens throughout the area have called 911 over the past few weeks to report a heavily tattooed male with long hair, about 6'2 to 6'5 and about 220 pounds with panty-dropping blue eyes has been spotted carrying a weapon believed to be a trident.
The male has not threatened anyone, but as can be seen in this screenshot from a surveillance camera video provided to DeWeather by Palmerton Police, the make does appear intimidating... and shirtless.
Male witnesses say the unknown make, between 30 and 40 years of age, is always seen soaking wet. Female witnesses have reported finding themselves soaking wet after seeing the male.
Male witnesses report a fishy smell when the male is present. Numerous female witnesses have reported finding themselves smelling slightly fishy after seeing the male.
Despite dozens of reports, police agencies have not yet been able to locate the male. The closest law enforcement has come to capturing him has been by Fish and Game officers on about 30 different occasions as the man is seen entering or exiting various bodies of water around the area.
If you see this male, please contact authorities immediately. Ladies, if you spot this male, it is alright to make coffee before reporting the sighting.
Please share so we can locate this person.
Stay safe. Stay dry.