The Vitalyze Counseling Center

03/15/2022

03/15/2022

03/15/2022

03/07/2022

All this month, we're focusing on The Four Horsemen. It's a foundational Gottman concept, and understanding the horsemen can have a huge impact on your interactions. If you want more information about each of the Four Horsemen, you can explore:

The Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/3IFj94o

Our Marriage Minute Email: http://bit.ly/2qB8FAc

The Four Horsemen Webinar: https://bit.ly/3HEKm5W

12/07/2021

by Marissa Pomerance We spend countless hours a day with the same person. And if we have to see them load the dishwasher KNIVES UP one more time we will spontaneously combust. It almost doesn’t matter that they’re actually loading the dishwasher in a way they feel is right, because so much of

09/12/2021

"We’ve learned that turning toward each other goes beyond accepting each other’s bids. It’s about making our partner, not others, our primary emotional anchor. It’s about making our partner our home."

Is your partner your anchor? On the Gottman Relationship Blog, discover how one couple boosted their sense of teamwork and unity through seasons of change: https://bit.ly/3C1Z4Sk

08/30/2021

What's your favorite "date" you've ever been on with your partner?

In our Gottman Relationship Blog post "6 Hours a Week to a Better Relationship," Dr. John Gottman recommends couples dedicate at least two hours per week for leisurely, romantic time together. There's no single blueprint all couples should follow for dates — your "we time" will be based on your unique relationship, interests, and circumstances. This is an excellent opportunity to get creative in your relationship and have some fun together.

Tag your partner and share your favorite date in the comments!

08/17/2021

Dr. John Gottman found that couples who dedicate at least six intentional hours per week on their relationship notice an improvement in communication, fondness and admiration, and attunement.

If the thought of budgeting time sounds intimidating, remember that healthy relationships grow from small moments of connection in everyday life.

Consider these questions:

How do you and your partner greet each other in the morning?
If you're both working from home, what's your favorite way to show affection?
Do you make an effort to learn about your partner's day?
When was the last time you had a State of the Union Meeting to discuss your romance and plan your future together?

Don't underestimate the small moments in your relationship. Making the effort to turn towards each other every day can make all the difference. Discover interactive tools to help you and your partner strengthen your relationship today by starting Gottman Relationship Coach: All About Love: https://bit.ly/3lkGJL2

08/04/2021

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_is_your_phone_doing_to_your_relationships

New research is exploring how phubbing—ignoring someone in favor of our mobile phone—hurts our relationships, and what we can do about it.

07/21/2021

A way to be creative that helps parents and children ❤️

07/20/2021

06/29/2021

05/16/2021

How full is your Emotional Bank Account?

On this episode of Small Things Often, hear why your Emotional Bank Account is essential to the success of your relationship and discover tips for staying out of the red: http://bit.ly/SmallThingsOften

05/16/2021

Happy couples routinely make each other feel seen and heard even in the fleeting moments of everyday life. These positive interactions add up, strengthening your connection over time.

Dr. John Gottman calls this your Emotional Bank Account. You grow it by turning towards your partner, accepting their bids for closeness, and acknowledging them often. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble, and a negative balance is bad news.

Invest in your Emotional Bank Account and boost your intimate communication skills today with Gottman Relationship Coach: https://bit.ly/3hgNDyW

03/18/2021

Being mindful of and responsive to the small interactions between you and your partner is what Dr. John Gottman calls "bids."

How you respond to your partner's bids determines whether you turn towards, against, or away from those opportunities to emotionally connect. As you or your partner becomes used to receiving a pattern of acceptance or rejection of bids, the feelings towards your partner determine the success or failure of the relationship.

Want to improve how you and your partner respond to each other's bids? Practice turning toward and build on your intimate conversation skills with Loving Out Loud on Gottman Connect: http://bit.ly/3qvmVEh

03/06/2021

"Drs. John and Julie Gottman have dedicated their careers to helping people love and take care of each other. Their work is research-based and life-changing.

After decades of study, the Gottmans and their colleagues can predict with 90% accuracy whether a couple will stay together after observing the first 3 minutes of an argument. That's unheard of in the social sciences.

The conversation is a game-changer." - Brené Brown

Have you listened to Drs. John and Julie Gottman's discussion with Brené Brown on "Unlocking Us" yet? On the podcast, Drs. John and Julie note the difference between a relationship that is headed for disaster and one that simply needs to regain its vitality: https://bit.ly/2YGLBh0

02/26/2021

When it comes to relationships if one partner is “winning,” then both partners are losing.

By making “accepting influence” part of your relationship, you can achieve greater understand and empathy for one another. The best way to do this is to adopt the notion of “yield to win.” The notion of “yield to win” suggests that both partners can come to a healthy compromise or outcome during conflict, by accepting each other's influence.

It’s tougher than it sounds but being committed to accepting influence in your relationship is the pathway through conflict and toward a happy, healthy life together. Discover tools to help you manage conflict more intentionally on Gottman Connect: http://bit.ly/2ZWf0EG