09/22/2025
Eagle Pass Man Calls for Time Rewind to Friday, Rejects Sunday Night Reality
By JGL
EAGLE PASS, TX — In a dramatic plea heard around Maverick County, local resident Jose Landa has officially petitioned the universe to rewind the clock back to 5:00 p.m. Friday, citing “extreme emotional distress” over the fact that Monday is less than 12 hours away.
“I swear Friday was like five minutes ago,” said Jose, pacing around his living room, clutching his phone like a lawyer presenting Exhibit A. “There’s no way Saturday was a full 24 hours. Someone stole my weekend. I demand justice.”
Neighbors reported hearing exaggerated groans and sighs coming from his home Sunday afternoon, with one witness claiming they saw him stare into the distance dramatically and whisper, ‘please no… not again.’
City officials say there is no legal way to stop the arrival of Monday, but almost everybody sympathized with Jose’ situation.
Meanwhile, local businesses are bracing for a surge in coffee consumption Monday morning as Eagle Pass prepares to reluctantly face the work week.
“This is the worst time travel news since Daylight Savings,” Jose concluded, reportedly bargaining with the universe by promising to behave all week if it just gives him one more Saturday.
Does anyone have any new excuses I can use to get away from going to work.Ive practically use them all.
10 Outrageously Ridiculous Excuses to Skip Work
1. Cursed Alarm Clock:
“My alarm clock summoned a demon at 6 a.m. and now it won’t let me leave the house until we finish playing Uno.”
2. Chihuahua Hostage Situation:
“My neighbor’s chihuahua won’t stop barking until I stay home. I can’t risk an international incident.”
3. Epic Movie Cliffhanger:
“I started a Netflix series last night and they left me on a cliffhanger. I legally cannot go to work until I know what happens.”
4. Local Celebrity Status:
“I went viral on TikTok overnight, so now I need to stay home for paparazzi training.”
5. DIY Gone Wrong:
“I tried to change a lightbulb, but somehow I rewired my house so that every time I open the fridge, my front door locks. I’m trapped.”
6. Time Traveler’s Dilemma:
“I accidentally went back to Friday, and it would be irresponsible to come back before the weekend ends again.”
7. World Record Attempt:
“I’m currently 12 hours into trying to beat the world record for longest nap — and I’m not giving up now.”
8. Apocalypse Test Run:
“The local power company is simulating the apocalypse today, and I was selected as tribute.”
9. Body Part Malfunction:
“My left leg called in sick and refuses to cooperate with the right one. HR told me to take the day off.”
10. Witness Protection Twist:
“I just got a call that I’m actually in the wrong witness protection program. Until they relocate me, I can’t go anywhere public — including work.”
Have a blessed Work Ughhh I mean week...
What's the funniest or weird excuse you have used to get off from going to work? Post in comments....
