Sean.The.Slasher

Sean.The.Slasher Muted screams in the noise

07/15/2025

𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒊𝒕

Been trying to find
That peace you've
Described to me
I think I've lost it this time
'Cause it's not inside of me

And nobody knows
Just how alone I feel
Like I'll never know
Just how alive they feel

I remember the pressure
I remember the pain
I've watched you shake off
What kills me everyday
I remember the weather
I remember the rain
How it darkened the concrete
How it darkened this ache

Been trying to conquer
But not divide the pieces
Left of me

I think you bought me some time
When time did not appeal to me

I forfeit these questions
I forget your names
Your faces blend together
Maybe dying's this way?

Your words are lost upon me
Your love is just the same
I hate that I'm your problem
Like my pain is in your way

Been trying to hide
An ache I can't describe
I think you've bought me some time

But time does not
Appeal to me

07/15/2025

𝑻𝑯𝑾𝑺𝑨𝑺

I'm not a child anymore
The lies you tell me
Don't mean s**t
I can see Hell, but
There's no Heaven
I've tried for years
But now I'm spent

Among this courage
I am faking
I feel more in line
With your contempt
There is a choice
I'm always making
To close my eyes
And not let you in

And good for you
It makes you feel better
I wish you'd carry me
Up that hill
And good for you
Making storms
For me to weather
Must've been easy for you
Up on that hill

I don't think
I'll be okay
But did you even
Love me anyway
My heart is just
About to burst
And I don't think that
Would be the worst

I thought that if I
Could keep changing
And stop always
Fu***ng sinking
That I could be
Your friend
But I'm never
Fu***ng changing
Because I'm always
Fu***ng sinking
And I'm just as
Goddamn broken
As that thinking...

07/15/2025

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔

You left me with questions
That didn't have answers

Whispered lies
Saying 'I'm fine'
Breaking the signs
You read before you write

What if I'd known you
Known all of your pain
Would you have been with me
Or would you still leave me this way

Whimpered restraint
Slipping with time
I'm godless, I know
But endings are fine

What if I'd helped you
Through all of your pain
Would you have believed me
When I begged you to stay

You left me with questions
That didn't have answers

07/13/2025

𝑴𝒆

I'm schizophrenic
I'm always manic
So why am I calm and still?

I'm catatonic
I'm microscopic
I'm miles beneath this shell

I'm writing honest
Like someone wants it
I find pain where you find thrills

This loneliness
And bitterness
Are mixing inside of me
Like a color you
Have never seen
It's me
Smeared on everything
That you've done
That you've seen

I'm without you
But you're with me

It's me

I'm burrowed in this
My dying's endless
So why am I calm and still

I'm automated
Evaluated
I'm miles beneath this shell

I'm writing honest
As if you would want it
I find shame where you find thrills

So you ask
What do I miss most?
I miss...

Trying to be okay

06/02/2025

𝑬𝒔𝒔

In my dreams, I've had dreams
That I am who I used to be
I could breathe, finally breathe
Free from my abandoned

In the light, in your light
My flaws weren't lit so brightly
It was right, it felt right
Then I wake to all my nothing

It was gone, I was gone
Clutching skin I can't abandon
It was wrong, it felt wrong
To think that I could wear it

I can't breathe, let me breathe
Put me back inside my dreams
Or in the night, endless night
It hurts so much to say

I don't wanna die, or be alive
I wish that I could tell you
One more lie, that I'm fine
Instead of this goodbye

05/31/2025

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆

The place I've come to convalesce
The action nulled the captured breath
Can I reveal to you what's only mine?
I've seen my death, but not my life

The form I chose to conquer this
The sounds I made with wasted breath
I'll share with you what's only mine
I'm full of death, but starved of life

The sated mass I once appeared
The endless distance, growing near
Is all this anguish only mine?
I'm approached by death, but not by life

This place I go to convalesce
This pain will go with all my breath
I'll share with you, one last time
I'll wait for death, for all my life

05/19/2025

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒍 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔

Feeling pressure
It's too much to bear
For someone so frail
Feeling useless
Trying to hide
The monsters inside

But you're always around
To watch me drown
Won't be long
Til I pull you down
What's it like
Living in the clouds
By your wings
I will pull you down

Feeling's useless
I'm biding my time
Til something feels right
Fear has kept me
Fighting for breaths
It's all I have left

The monster is frail
You've wounded him well
The monster is frail
You've wounded me well

05/01/2025

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏?

When waiting is wilting
The grapes on the vine
When the gun comes to question
The strength of my mind
When my words fall short of
Perception described
Will I come to reason
With what's left inside?

Always afraid
Of all these unknowns
Bringing me shade
From sunlight unshone
Always the same
I can not bestow
The strength to my legs
To stand on my own

When bleeding is breathing
And receding subsides
When the rope comes to question
The state of my mind
When my hope falls short of
Elation of pride
Will I come to reason
With what's left inside?

When I wait,
I wilt
When I breathe,
I bleed
I can't keep holding still
For the life you see

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Elberfeld, IN

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