Coffee Talk With Brandy

04/05/2026

Eleven years ago I made a courageous decision to leave my marriage of eight years. It’s not like I woke up one day and decided I wanted a divorce. Okay, maybe I did wake up one day and decided I was completely done, but it was only after four years of hard work. Four years of marriage counseling. Four years of opportunity to work together to create a better relationship. Four years of learning and growth. Creating a working relationship takes determination, grit, and hard work from both people in the relationship. I had a lot of work to do. I was and still am far from perfect, but every day, I put my best foot forward—learning, growing, loving, and forgiving.

One day, after my own personal session with our therapist, I had an aha moment. She said the same exact words that our previous therapist had said four years ago in the beginning of our marriage counseling, “He didn’t do it because he didn’t want to do it.” It was at that moment I realized that after four years of working on these issues, nothing had really changed. I know I was doing all I could to learn, to grow, and to create room for the changes that I needed to make, but it takes two people working towards a goal, not one. I had some interesting beliefs and behaviors that I had to shift in order to become the person I wanted to be—to become a better wife.

Hell, I'll never forget the way our therapist looked at me as she boldly stated, “You’re not allowed to be upset at him if you didn’t communicate your expectations with him.” She went on to say, “Don’t expect people to read your mind. It’s not their job.”

But…but can’t he see how exhausted I am? Can’t he see that I am barely sleeping, nursing our newborn baby, taking care of two kids, dealing with a new diagnosis for our daughter, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, and, and, and… My thoughts began to race, anger surfacing faster than the speed of light.

Coffee, Conversations, and Confidence;
Stories Of Love, Lust, Heartbreak, and Growth.

Coffee, Conversations, and Confidence: Stories of Love, Lust, Heartbreak, and Growth

04/05/2026

"Many of us remain strangers to ourselves, hiding who we are, and ask other strangers, hiding who they are, to love us."
Leo Buscaglia

At what point will you allow yourself to be loved for everything that you are? At what point in your life will you take the time to discover who you are and allow your authentic self to show up, be seen, and to be fully loved?


When we show up authentic we give others the courage to show up authentic too. When we cultivate curiosity and empathy over judgment, shame and blame, we will create lasting relationships built upon a foundation of vulnerability and connection.

You deserve to be seen, heard, loved, validated and cared for. You deserve kindness, empathy, compassion and understanding.

03/30/2026

03/29/2026

I love this movie. This quote right here hit me hard many years ago. Before healing from my pain, I believed I deserved to be treated poorly. I believed it was normal to have someone yell at you, dismiss you, and say mean things to you.

I was drawn to men who were abusive, dismissive, and extremely good at manipulation.

This movie and this quote assisted me further in doing my inner work. Therapy isn't always an office and a comfy couch. Sometimes, it's movies, books, or experiences with other people. Inner work is the ability to turn inward with compassion and seek to understand our own patterns of behaviors and thoughts.