11/21/2025
For all the mamas out there that are about to welcome home their adult kids in the next week:
Our adult kids aren’t just coming home for the holidays—they’re coming home to our energy, our hopes, and sometimes our unspoken expectations.
I say this as a mom with a child in every season of adulthood.
One who’s married with a new baby.
One in his mid-twenties building a life in a new city.
And one finishing her senior year of college, standing on the edge of everything new.
Each of them comes home carrying something different.
And even with the best intentions, it’s easy for my questions, my hopes, or my idea of how things “should” look to add weight they never asked to carry.
What I have learned over all of these seasons is that our adult kids are carrying a lot and have many of their own expectations for this time home. For some, it may be their first time home after leaving for college and have a whole schedule planned to connect with friends, all while you have a gingerbread competition, a family cookie party and an ugly Christmas sweater party planned that you’re SURE they can’t wait to be a part of!
Yet even when we have the best of intentions, our energy, expectations and endless questions can find them in a place that only adds more to them instead of welcoming them into a place of peace and safety that they are seeking.
So I invite all of you mamas into a moment of quiet reflection before the craziness begins as they walk in the door. Put some intention to exactly what you want them to receive while home, not necessarily what we are all hoping to get from them.
For me, when I am able to let go of the quiet scripts in my head, I make room for who they each are and the lives they’re building to meet them each exactly where they are.
And that’s where the connection happens—the kind they’ll remember long after the holidays end.