jalenasimpson

04/04/2022

Like hello! I have a whole plant in my hands SOMEONE ask me about it.

I’m starting to feel like those vegans… you know, the ones that JUST 🙄 have to tell people they’re vegan to feel superior.

Yea… SOMEONE 🗣ASK ME 🗣ABOUT MY PLANT 🗣PLEASE!!!

03/26/2022

This might get taken down b/c I have a stalker reporting all my post 🙄

BUT

I’ve learned how much men may love the physicality of a woman… but they aren’t so much interested in really getting to know her and are more interested in seeing what she can DO FOR HIM.

I.e. “can you cook?” Is a question I get asked EVERY F**KEN DATE 🤦🏽‍♀️

But then I offend him by asking if he knows how to clean the rim of a toilet that he’s pi**ed on 🤷🏽‍♀️

03/19/2022

.

03/18/2022

Send help.

I’m tired of always being the good person, the good friend, the good woman…

I really be wanting to raise havoc up in this muvfuka.

🧘‍♀️

03/17/2022

Keeping it green today.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day 🍀

03/17/2022

🍃🎋🪴🎍🍀☘️🌿🌱🌴🌳🌲🎄🌵

03/15/2022

03/15/2022

Just call me Daddy… cause all I got is kids 🌱 🍃🌿🌳🌴🎋🪴🍀🎍☘️🌲🌵

Thank you to .green.thumbs for gifting me my shirt.

Make sure yall follow and support these men who plant. 🙌🏾

03/12/2022

I have all the basic plants … but what plant would you want to swap leaves for?

03/06/2022

Men are lazy and single life is ghetto … but at the same time being in a relationship for the sake of not being alone is also ghetto…

Can I just get a man who spoils me with plants and food 😩

03/04/2022

I will not be sticking beside him.

First off…. I judge men by the way they care for their plants. If they aren’t real… then this “relationship” bout to be real fake too 💅🏾

If you buy low maintenance plants… that in itself tells me all I need to know about you… you don’t have the mental capabilities or capacity to maintain us.

If you just put your plants in any ole pot and allow them to sit with dust on them… that tells me you bout to be a dust bucket muvfuka.

If you keep killing your ferns… sir, imma need you to gone head and log out.

And if he ain’t taking you plant shopping at least 1x every 4 days… THE F**K am I doing with you. I mean sir… just Mr. Jetson me with your wallet (only 80’s baby’s get that reference) and we good. 😌😌😌