Text Me Back

03/14/2025

Um, excuse us? We are walking here. Meagan and Lindy make a brave break from their cozy hotel room into the NYC winter night to watch Drag Race at a local bar/mystery tent and meet THE camping out in there!

And we add a sexy twist to our age-old Segment P.U.B.E.S. This week we’re calling it Segment P.U.B.E.S.: Crazy Lady Living in a Bag. Two guesses as to who the crazy ladies are. Won’t you join us in our bag? Tbh we get a little real here because it’s BAD out there, and the badness is all by design. And ultimately we’re gonna have to make room for more crazy ladies in our bag. So get ready! If we’re gonna turn the tides of fascism, it’ll be with the help of some misguided voters AND at least one annoying guy with a rinky-dink sign.

Slide 1: Silver Alert!
Slide 2: ALWAYS meet your heroes!!!
Slide 3: ’s beefing her moment with Thorgy’s dirty sock.
Slide 4: won some socks of her own.
Slide 5: KONY 2012 came up for some reason?
Slide 6: Do NOT ask Lindy’s dad about KONY 2012 when he’s trying to play “More Than a Feeling” at Meagan’s wedding.
Slide 7: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE HATE YOU GUYS
Slide 8: Meagan, Jenny, and Alexis being corny-curious at the Women’s March.
Slide 9: At Text Me Back Podcast we support all hats and all signs!
Slide 10: Healthy masculinity doesn’t abandon its values because the hats aren’t cool enough!!!!!!!!

03/09/2025

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the mother we never had, the sister everybody would want, the best friend everybody deserves, we don’t know a better person/troll, !! and what would we do without her??? comment your favorite Lindy brainestrone below!! 🎉🎂🎈🎁

03/06/2025

Unearthed from our On Air Fest goodie bags, your hosts discover little teensy influencer microphones! And if you know how jazzed one host in particular gets about the media board, you can guess what this means–absolute unhinged chaos aka a cross country FIELD TRIP! 🚂

But before Lindy shares her unfiltered reporting from her truly epic train ride from DC to Seattle, we recap their On Air Fest experiences, walking away with one important question: What in the sweet hell happened to the crafty crackers? These VIP B*Ws are supposed to eat piles of deli meat with nary a carb? REGGIE WATTS TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NETWORKING NOSH!! ✨ listen neeeooowww

Slide 1: two women who did not understand what train shrimp could do to the body
Slides 2-4: Lindy on a train!
Slide 5: Lindy on a train ☹️
Slide 6: Lindy’s splendid Wordle victory! 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

02/27/2025

Today, Lindy and Meagan are recording this episode in their most natural state: lying down. That’s right–these two sleepy gals are broadcasting from a very fancy and genuinely extremely comfortable at in Brooklyn, NYC aka DA BIG APPLE. And they’re not alone! They’re in bed with the biggest grifter in the biz, a legendary podcast king and professional menace…Ronald Young Jr.! gives us the scoop on New York’s hottest restaurants (a sexy little local joint~Aplé-beis~), gives us many a glad tiding, and tells us Watch-him Watchin! TUNE IN because we had so much fun!

Slides 1-3: professional podcasting business people in the suite! Two-thirds of those pictured are also professional menaces/trolls! Not Meagan though, she’s an angel 😇
Slide 4: I want my baby back ☹️
Slide 5: Mrs Hudson girl we are so sorry for the erasure babe!!!
Slide 6: and that’s on Lady Matlock 😤

02/20/2025

Deep-cut audio lore, chaotic jingles, and possibly altering the course of America—just another exceedingly normal episode of Text Me Back. And we’re kicking thing off with a 🚨🚨Hot Take Alert 🚨🚨Meagan defends nepo babies? If you’re into blazing hot takes from topics that were top of mind in 2014, you are in for a real treat today. And a new segment means a call for a new theme song! Zuma Rossdale Stefani please we need your help!!!! And Lindy held the future of America in her DMs?? GRIMES!! CALL US GIRL!

Slide 1: Two Scared Girls
Slide 2: Grimes!?? Hello?!?!
Slide 3: Keep Jack Quaid tf away from my HVAC system
Slide 4: can someone tell us where the juice goes
Slide 5: two deeply problematic kings

02/06/2025

Lots of news to get into today! First up, we start off with DOG THOUGHTS that includes an absolutely iconic voicemail from a very good husband listener named Gerald. Yes, Gerald, this time we ARE talking about you! And we have a new segment: The Reddit Report! What on Eru’s green Middle Earth is friggin HAPPENING around here??? Is it so hard to all agree that literal N***s are bad and don’t belong in our Hobbitty little lives? Don’t let them make it normal, precious! And last but not least: We check in on Lindy’s Rebuilding Year, which has had some exciting new developments (feet pics 😔).

Slide 1: ugh, these two again
Slide 2: idk I think McConaughey might be on to something
Slide 3: bovine ostrich Birkin bag
Slide 4: (ok feet)
Slide 5-6: are you guys fu**in kidding me rn
Slide 7: Doritos jacket!

01/30/2025

Did you know that every week when I post these carousels on instagram I have to go back and read the entire transcript of the episode because I don’t remember what we talked about?? It’s true! 🪱 🪱 🪱 As it turns out, we talked about PETE HEGSETH with our special guest Rafil and how his time in the Princeton dueling club serves as a metaphor to us all over the next 4 years. PLUS! Xmas addendum is back (you can see the jacket in stories because I forgot to screen grab it and add it and if I want to add it now I have to start this post over from the beginning and I WILL NOT DO THAT), the 14th amendment and Trump chaos, and Lindy’s REBUILDING YEAR! Enjoy!

Slide 1: TMB Dueling Club
Slide 2: Pete Hegseth (right) pre-duel
Slide 3: he’s NOT an alien. he’s a ghost, and he writes to us. ghostwriter! WORD
Slide 4: the unambiguous text of the 14th Amendment
Slide 5: Lindy’s contusion
Slide 6: the Guy Fieri clock from last week
Slide 7: come see us in Brooklyn on February 21! use the code POP40 for a 40% discount! Link in biografía!

01/23/2025

New episode out today and it’s a real embarrassment of riches over here! First, we pay tribute to David Lynch, which bridges poetically into our next phase of entertainment: the Trump administration’s trailblazing focus on Making Hollywood Great Again with washed up losers who failed out of the entertainment industry! If art isn’t dead already, these freakin’ ding dongs will make sure it’s killed for good.

But you know what? We also have good news. Our segment Normal News brings us wonderful news about zombie pig brains! And in the famed and celebrated segment known as Christmas Addendum, Meagan shares a trinket we CHALLENGE you to guess. Plus, some faithful reporting on news from pop culture magazines AKA slop culture. 

Slides 1&2: not the mystery trinkets but two beautiful works of art from
Slide 3: folks…..they got pawpaw
Slides 4&5: the chaos Lindy wreaks on the gift card writers of America
Slide 6: why does Mel Gibson look like that
Slide 7: rest in power to a beautiful man

01/09/2025

🚨 WE’RE BACK 🚨 It may be the dead of winter, but in our hearts the clammy buds of spring are bursting with squeaky-clean teeth, resolutions, and creamed corn! This week, we dive into their post-holiday recap, revisit our 2024 affirmations, and commit to their new 2025 goals (including being Even Better Better Businesswomen!!).

Plus, the Text Me Backolytes share their own resolutions! We are eating fruit, sewing, cooking, and enriching our pets’ lives. We are going to the library. We are being cute. This is the resistance, friends!

Slide 1: the only podcast
Slide 2: horse with bell bottoms
Slide 3: Lindy’s body type
Slide 4: G A R M O N B O Z I A

12/05/2024

Surprise and Merry Christmas to PATREON SUBSCRIBERS!! We have a new episode of our Shrill rewatch series up TODAY and we’re talkin’ ‘bout everyone’s favorite episode: POOL PARTY! And we’re joined by America’s sweetheart , who wrote the episode! Give it a watch to find out more about the making of the episode, who was too distractingly beautiful to serve as an extra, and which one of us maybe fought a man on set for reasons that have since been lost to time.

Link to the full thing in bio and in stories. Subscribe today and get your life! Stay blessed, babes!

11/09/2024

omg…it’s our podcast’s BIRTHDAY!! 🎉 we’re one year old! thank you all so much for listening and supporting our show. it’s been a beautiful and deeply insane year and we’re so happy to make something that people love and find comfort in!

we only want one present for our birthday: for you to support our show by subscribing to our Patreon if you can! the link is in our bio! you get all sorts of goodies, such as the show will continue to exist! and also discounts on merch, access to our Shrill rewatch series, access to our Discord, and more! we love you!

enjoy this carousel of TMB cuts born deep and shallow. can you catch all the references? comment below! 🎈🎂🎁💕

10/31/2024

Happy Halloween! This week, Lindy and Meagan accidentally pull off a spook-filled episode. An eerie hamlet full of demigods! Warty pumpkins! Creepy crusties and the horrors and potions of age! Keanu Reeves-vampire-time-traveler-boyfriend! Oh, I dunno and THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION?? 😱 What could be scarier?

Coming off the breathtaking success of our live show at the Seattle Py00blic Library, we’re back with tidings, P.U.B.E.S., MAGA numerology, and we round out the episode with a new segment we’re calling “Corny Tyme”! Guess what dark forces of authoritarianism: We’re voting! We’re voting for Kamala and we’re ready to hold her accountable and pull her towards peace if she wins. We hope you’ll do the same! Link in bio for all the info you need to make a plan to VOTE 🗳️

Slide 1: two crusty women who are scared
Slide 2: the election is in 5 days 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 please vote and get your Doritos ready
Slide 3: please get your sons off YouTube and hug them lots and tell them never to take advice from a man with an unwashed ass otherwise they will be exiled to a tiger country ☹️
Slide 4: sir you are welcome to time travel to my bedroom whenever you like
Slide 5: I was gonna post a pic of a warty pumpkin here but all the images made me uncomfortable so here’s a bonus slide of Keanu in Much Ado About Nothing
Slide 6: Pre-Taped Call-In Show

10/26/2024

A few more pics from our LIVE SHOW at with feat. , , , beloved Text-Me-Backolytes repping our new MERCH, and BFF tattoos by ! The episode is live now wherever YOU get YOUR podcasts. 😘😘😘😘😘

10/24/2024

Liiiiveee showwwwww!! This week, we’re LIVE from the ! We have THREE special guests who we put to the test with a series of silly little games as well as high stakes political questions.

We’ve brought back our signature game of FMKDSHFWM with special guest Mariesa Bus! Find out which book this library professional would marry, which book she would like to do karaoke with, and which book she would thoughtfully eject from the library based on its merits. Feel free to play along and tell us which book you would lust after or tastefully burn!

And then we have a NEWS QUIZ segment! We bring on Seattle Times columnist and comic to go toe-to-toe with Lindy and Meagan as they all aim to buzz in correct answers on local and national political newsy-type questions, AND/OR tickle the whimsy of the audience for the ILLUSTRIOUS prize of a half-eaten bag of candy from Candy Tyme in Westlake Center 💫 TUNE IN! Everywhere you get your podcasts!

Slide 1: two well-rested women who don’t have any problems arrive at the downtown library for their live show
Slide 2: matching tattoos!! Thank you !
Slide 3: live show!!
Slide 4: the winner of our news quiz with their trophy 🏆

10/18/2024

HEY!! Have you been holding off on buying your tickets to our post-election live show November 7 at the because you’re a PERSON OF CULTURE and you don’t go anywhere unless there are Emmy-award winning special guests involved?? Well consider that excuse DECEASED honey because we are pleased to announce that we will be joined onstage by beloved comedian and award-haver GUY BRANUM!! Tickets are literally going fast so go buy them immediately! Link in bio, folks! 🎟️🎤🗳️

10/17/2024

Well, we’ve done it again! NEW EPISODE OUT TODAY! AND we actually remembered to post about it on instagram, which is a little trick we learned at our Ivy League B*W school! This week, Lindy presents a theory that American Apparel’s chokehold on our country in the mid-aughts was merely a Mandela Wffect. Where did all those tube tops and ass shorts go?!  Meanwhile, Meagan reaches the internet ice wall and is convinced that the bizarre ads she is delivered are nothing more than inscrutable brain bait that must be clicked.

And finally, our favorite segment, Whatcha Watchin’! Lindy and Meagan share their thoughts on two highbrow intellectual progrums: BritBox’s McDonald & Dodds and HBO’s Chimp Crazy. But who is watching what? The answer may surprise you. Tune in to find out! Everywhere you get your shows!

Slide 1: Two normal women
Slide 2: Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at the famous American location of the council estate, which is where he invented the blues
Slide 3: TW! Early aughts American Apparel ad!
Slides 4&5: Extremely scrutable products that we love to purchase
Slide 6: Unfortunately we’ve gone crazy for the Chimp Crazy community ☹️

10/09/2024

We have merch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merch for Text Me Back, the podcast from Lindy West and Meagan Hatcher-Mays

10/03/2024

New episode out today! And we’re being kind of MEAN 😈 but only because people were mean to us first!!! It all starts with our endless, increasingly appalling, and all-encompassing RFK, Jr. beat, which put us on a collision course with a cohort of as****es who bullied Lindy in 2017 for being a nice dork. Guess what, dingalings? It’s 2024 and we’re ready to take you down a peg! Being good and nice is COOL and being bad and mean is NOT cool. Grow up! ✨ full episode everywhere you get your shows 📱

Slide 1: Two mean sweeties
Slide 2: Literal villainy!!
Slide 3: Enya’s castle. Not enough hermits realize this
Slide 4: please go missing so we can meet Keith Morrison
Slide 5: sorry about your submersible but this never would have happened on James Cameron’s watch