
07/15/2025
The Subscription Apocalypse
It's Tuesday. You just discovered you've been paying for Spotify Premium, Apple Music, AND Pandora for the past 8 months. Your streaming services have formed their own union and are demanding overtime pay. 🎵💸🤡
You went through your subscriptions like an archaeologist uncovering ancient civilizations:
Netflix (obviously)
Hulu (for that ONE show)
Disney+ (you're 34 but okay)
HBO Max (it's called "Max" now, grandpa)
Paramount+ (literally why)
A meditation app you used twice in 2022
A language learning app that's still convinced you'll be fluent in Spanish "mañana"
Your bank statement reads like a hostage note written by corporate America.
Plot twist: You're still watching YouTube for free and eating cereal for dinner.
Your credit card saw this monthly massacre and filed for emotional damages. Your budget app sent you a breakup text. And your financial future? She's in therapy discussing abandonment issues.
Today's intervention: Cancel something. ANYTHING. Your great-aunt's soap opera addiction has better financial planning than you do.
🔥 August is coming with receipts, reality checks, and a subscription detox program. Capital Council is about to Marie Kondo your monthly expenses—if it doesn't spark joy OR profit, it's getting yeeted.
📱💳🗑️