Monkey Business Media

09/10/2026

MAGA: I’m going to be very blunt right now.

If you actually believe Donald Trump is going to give every adult American $5,000 if Republicans win the midterms — a power he doesn’t have the authority to exercise and one that would cost roughly $1.4 trillion — you’re legitimately one of the dumbest motherf*ckers on the planet.

Not “naive,” not “gullible,” not even “overly optimistic” — you are legitimately a very, very stupid person.

If we really had this money to give every American, he would have already done so, and our national debt wouldn’t be skyrocketing at a historic rate, recently surpassing $40 trillion.

The fact that he would stand on that stage and make that promise with a straight face is a perfect example of how stupid Trump thinks all of his supporters are because he actually expects MAGA to believe this.

So, I don’t want to hear a damn thing from any one of his supporters whining about anyone else calling them “stupid,” because their dear leader treats them like complete and total idiots all the time — and they sit there with big smiles on their faces, continuing to support him anyway.

But I’ll say it again to make sure I’m properly emphasizing my point: If you are someone who actually believes this will happen because “we’re making so much money” due to his policies — as our national debt just went over $40 trillion and is climbing at a historic rate — you are a dumb motherf*cker on a level that’s unprecedented in all of human history.

And that’s exactly what Donald Trump is hoping you all are.

09/08/2026

Trump spent Sunday posting pictures of himself nuking the planet from a space station, guarded by giant robots, over a caption announcing that the United States now owns the moon. He did this for thirteen hours.

Between 9:10 in the morning and 10:35 at night, Donald Trump fired off more than sixty posts. Memes, rants, endorsements, personal attacks, and a steady stream of AI-generated pictures of himself. He announced he wants to rename New Mexico.

Stating that it is "one of the great vote cheating states of all time," a casual proposition by the President of the U.S.A. to rename a state that has existed since 1912 and call it "New America" was accompanied by a video of him dancing to Y.M.C.A.

He posted himself as Hulk Hogan. He posted himself in a Space Force uniform that critics pointed out looks like the outfit the villains wear in Star Wars. He posted himself palling around with George Washington, drawn by the same software that cannot reliably render a hand.

He bragged about making billions trading stocks, while under scrutiny for exactly that, and added that the billions were "for the U.S.A., not myself," which is what a man says when both halves of the sentence are for him.

Somewhere in the thirteen hours he found the time and audacity to mock congresswoman Debbie Dingell for weeping over her dead husband, calling her a “third rate loser.”

None of this is a distraction, in fact it seems that this is his job now.

The country is paying a full presidential salary, and a great deal more than that, for a man to be unhinged on his own social media app.

The codes are still in the room with him.

09/05/2026

09/05/2026

More than half of U.S. cannabis arrests happened in just 10 states

Police in Texas, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Georgia, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Indiana, Louisiana and Alabama made more than 131,000 ma*****na-related arrests in 2025, according to a NORML analysis of FBI data.

Nationwide, police reported at least 218,152 ma*****na arrests: 200,960 for possession and 17,192 for sales or manufacturing.

That means approximately 92% involved possession rather than selling or producing cannabis.

Texas led the country with more than 29,000 ma*****na arrests, accounting for roughly 14% of the national total. Approximately 98% of the state’s arrests involved possession alone.

North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Wisconsin each reported more than 12,000 ma*****na arrests.

Louisiana had the highest proportion of drug arrests attributed to ma*****na possession, at 62%.

The numbers illustrate how dramatically ma*****na enforcement now varies by geography.

Recreational cannabis is legal in many states, where low-level possession arrests have fallen close to zero. Elsewhere, possessing the same substance can still result in fines, a criminal record or incarceration.

Ma*****na arrests also increased between 2024 and 2025, despite continuing a much longer downward trend associated with state legalization.

The reported figures probably understate the true total. Approximately 13% of state and local law-enforcement agencies did not submit 2025 data to the FBI, requiring the agency to estimate some national figures.

The FBI’s report also contains inconsistencies between tables that use apparently similar categories, making exact comparisons difficult.

Even with those limitations, one conclusion is clear: the likelihood of being arrested for ma*****na in America increasingly depends less on the substance itself than on the state in which someone possesses it.

09/05/2026

92% of U.S. adults have delayed or avoided medical care due to high costs. Meanwhile, a new study from Yale estimates that Medicare for All would save over 114,000 lives and $1 trillion a year. If this country was truly “pro-life,” we would have universal healthcare.

We're the only developed country without universal (single-payer) healthcare. Americans pay up to 300% more than other countries for procedures and prescriptions through our antiquated, for-profit system. Even citizens with insurance can pay thousands a month in premiums, copays, non covered procedures, etc. Because healthcare in the US is treated as a for-profit business instead of service, with charges and costs astronomically inflated.

Conservatives argue that single-payer healthcare would mean major tax increases or excessive wait times. Nothing but scare tactics. Other similar countries see moderate to slight increases in taxes to cover healthcare, but those costs are offset without the costs of premiums, co pays, or medical bills for out of network or non-covered treatments.

Costs for uninsured Americans wouldn't be passed on to insured Americans through higher premium prices because ALL Americans would be covered! There would be no pleading with insurance companies to cover your life-saving care. No bills for hundreds of thousands of dollars. No waiting until your on death's door before seeing a doctor because of fear of the cost. No hoarding medication because you can pay for it or your rent, but not both.

It's time the wealthiest country in the world stops bankrupting its sick citizens. Enough paying 200-300% percent more for healthcare to pay profit margins for hospitals and drug companies.

08/31/2026

Literally every Republican Congressman

08/30/2026

$1.99 a pound for ground beef in 2026?

I’m not saying Amazon is hiding anything in there… but I WOULD like to know what animal signed off on this price.

Seriously, what are we buying here?

Everywhere else, ground beef has gotten expensive enough that you notice it.

Then Amazon comes strolling in at $1.99 a pound like nothing happened.

I’m impressed.

I’m also a little concerned.

Because when the price is that low, my first thought is no longer “great deal.”

It’s “what exactly did they grind up?”

08/29/2026

Trump says he's going to end the USDA. No more meat inspections. Then he can sell you whatever contaminated, diseased, dead animals he wants

Ever read "The Jungle," by Upton Sinclair? If not, now would be a good time

08/26/2026

He is mentioned over 38,000 times and some reports suggest that his name appears more often than Jeffrey Epstein himself.