30/06/2025
She doesn’t know what it’s like to not live in survival mode. Her body wakes up tense. Her mind races before her feet even hit the floor. She’s always overthinking, always bracing for something to go wrong… even when everything seems fine. Because her nervous system has been on high alert for so long, peace doesn’t feel peaceful.... it feels unfamiliar. Suspicious. Temporary.
She’s not being dramatic. She’s not “too sensitive.” She’s conditioned. Conditioned by the constant need to be strong, to keep going, to stay ahead of the next disappointment. Every quiet moment is filled with noise inside her head. Every compliment is met with doubt. Every calm day feels like the silence before another storm.
She’s exhausted.... not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually. She smiles through it. Functions through it. But she’s carrying the weight of everything she never had the time or space to process. And she doesn’t know how to just relax, because relaxing has never felt safe. It’s always come right before a new wave of chaos.
People think she’s cold. Closed off. Overreacting. But they don’t understand the war she’s been fighting inside. How her body has adapted to survive, not to thrive. She’s tired of pretending she’s okay. Tired of pushing through without falling apart. Tired of not knowing what it feels like to just breathe without tension tightening her chest.
What she really wants? Is to feel safe. In her body. In her mind. In someone’s arms. In her own life. She wants to stop living on edge. To stop waiting for the next betrayal, the next disappointment, the next breakdown. She wants to rest without guilt. To feel joy without fear. To stop surviving… and finally start living.
She doesn’t need someone to fix her.
She needs someone to see her. To understand her.
To hold her without asking her to explain why she’s tired.... just be there.
Because more than anything…
she’s just trying to remember what it feels like to breathe again.