06/07/2026
By Butch Lawson: After more than 80 years of nearly constant practice and exhaustive training, I am embarrassed to admit that my tongue still can't stay out of the way of my teeth. Just as disappointing is my starboard cheek, which gets slammed nearly as often as my tongue. My cheek reacts instantly and with more tears and drama for some reason. While I may go several months without these oral train wrecks, they happen when I am least prepared and often in the presence of someone I wouldn't have chosen to see me drooling blood into my beard.
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After more than 80 years of nearly constant practice and exhaustive training, I am embarrassed to admit that my tongue still can't stay out of the way of my teeth. Just as disappointing is my starboard cheek, which gets slammed nearly as often as my tongue.