09/28/2025
*Warning: Long Post and a Spoiler Alert ahead - but honestly the spoiler is for a 35 year old movie, so if you haven't seen it, sorry, I guess?*
From the 1990 movie Darkman, starring Liam Neeson.
Louis Strack Jr.: [dangling from the top of a skyscraper under construction. Darkman holds his leg] “Go ahead, do it! Do it, Westlake! But think of this; You let me die and you become as bad as me. Worse! Ha ha. You can't! I know you too well. Dropping me, it's not really an option for you. It's not something you can live with.”
[Darkman lets Strack's leg go causing him to plummet to his death. Strack screams as he falls]
Darkman: “I'm learning to live with a lot of things.”
That final line has always stuck with me. But today, September 27th, hits me a bit differently.
I'm learning to live with a lot of things…
As I'm sure we all recall, this was the day in 2024 that Henderson County, NC was hit by Hurricane Helene. What you may not know about me and my family, is that September 27th is also my wife, Kristin’s birthday.
Last year, while we all wanted to celebrate the start of her final year in her thirties, we were instead huddled together in the living room of our singlewide mobile home, which sits at the bottom of 2 hills, and on the edge of a swamp. We had made plans to evacuate, but unfortunately we were unable to as a giant oak tree that had been entangled with Kudzu with several others lining our driveway was uprooted earlier in the morning, making our driveway impassable.
Not knowing what was going to happen next, when the storm would be over, or even if we would make it out alive, I had already written all of our names and birthdates on a sheet of paper, and had taped it to a high window, just in case the worst scenario actually happened.
Somewhere after 24 hours since the storm started, we were finally able to see enough to avoid the enormous hole in our driveway caused by the uprooted tree. With no power, and no cell service (Yep, super reliable in an emergency Firstnet… 🙄) we cautiously made our way out to survey the damage, and hopefully regain contact with a friend whom we knew lived nearby.
Highway 25 that runs near our home was closed due to flooding to the North of us. Old Airport Road was unreachable. Same thing to the South, shortly beyond the ramp at Exit 44 to I-26, the road was flooded as well. Howard Gap Road was blocked by down trees and power lines less than 100 yards from the entrance to Fletcher Elementary School. Butler Bridge Road was also inaccessible. A total area of around 2 miles was all that we could access.
Thankfully though, we were able to locate our friend. And through him, we were able to join a group of about 20 other households that decided to pool our resources, unload our freezers before the food could spoil, and put our combined talents together to make sure people were safe, they had access to electricity via generators, and that they knew people were willing to come work to help clear debris and help them get out if needed. Over the next 12 days, thanks to the generosity of local businesses, we were able to provide meals to over 100 people twice daily.
Eventually, power was restored. Roads were re-opened. And we’ve all spent the last 12 months trying to recover to the best of our abilities. But the unfortunate fact remains that many of us are still not okay. Myself included.
I'm learning to live with a lot of things.
This has been the year for both Kristin, and myself to experience the remaining days of our thirties. With her birthday today being her 40th, and my 40th coming 5 days from now on October 2nd. If I can take a moment to be selfish, I honestly feel cheated. We didn't get the opportunity to celebrate last year, we were all more worried about surviving. This year, unfortunately, just feels like more of the same.
I'm still not okay.
Things are a little easier right now. We can access the grocery store, we have power, clean water, shelter. The physical necessities are taken care of easily enough right now. But the ongoing PTSD symptoms, the depression, not having the mental capacity to do simple things like getting out of bed, eating - hell, to be honest even bathing regularly has been difficult. I keep telling myself that it’s all going to get easier sometime soon. It has to… But, I'm still waiting. I'm not sitting still and waiting though, I'm still pushing myself on a daily basis to keep striving for those little wins.
I really don't think that I would be able to even recognize those little wins when they occur, if it weren't for my family. That includes the people I'm related to, and the ones that we've had the pleasure of welcoming into our “Frankensquad/Bean Can” over the past year. Thank you all for your endless support.
I'm learning to live with a lot of things, and each of you plays a part in my being able to do so.
