08/30/2019
Area Avian Named Employee of the Month
A local bird has been named Employee of the Month for August, at a major retailer. The news came as quite a surprise to many of the other workers, but not to the managers who made the decision.
"It really wasn't even close this time," said Third-Assistant to the Deputy Manager, Betsy Betts. "His work ethic is extraordinary. Seemed like every time I was here, there he was. Constantly helping in other departments. I never had to tell him to clean up messes in the snack aisle, he just did it. He was great at keeping the crowds moving during back-to-school sales, too. Really, the only negative was that he wasn't properly displaying his name tag... but we tend to let that slide. We don't like to be so picky about such things."
A Junior Associate colleague was not equally impressed. speaking on condition of anonymity, he said, "I don't get it. I worked hard for most of my 10-hour shift every week this month. Well, except for the week I started back to high school so I wouldn't miss football practice. I was never more than 15 minutes late, and this guy wins the choice parking spot - I'm not even sure he drives here! And did anyone even see what he left in the produce department after eating the sour grapes?"
Sour grapes, indeed. If he figures out how to open another register, we're nominating him for Employee of the Year.
