04/22/2026
Conducting Effective Family Meetings About and (Part 1) by Dennis Jaffe, PH.D and Stacy Allred
As grow to adulthood and get married, the socio-economic landscape shifts and new must emerge or be developed inside the family. How does this happen? To survive as a family , the family must share information, , expectations, responsibility and planning across generations.
This survival can only happen through focused, informative, trusting and productive family meetings.
Lack of information and can lead to distrust and the perception of unfairness.
As more people enter the family each generation, family meetings allow the members to consider different perspectives and align expectations so nobody feels unfairly treated and family members understand, trust and respect each other’s roles.
Family members of each generation have to understand and the rules and procedures for working together. They need to understand their parents’ legacy while also making plans for succeeding together as a team in their own new generation. Members of each generation easily misperceive each other—the family meeting is a pathway to reconcile these divergences.
What is the major cause of failure of a family meeting? Most often, it is incomplete . A family meeting is important enough that you must engage in a lot of work beforehand to ensure that everyone knows what to expect. A general rule is that people should know, understand and agree to the meeting and its focus, and that there should be no surprises.
SETTING UP THE FAMILY MEETING
1. Get Everyone’s Agreement to Hold the
2. Have a Clear and
3. Design the Meeting Collaboratively and Create Clear Expectations
The advisor should hesitate to define the agenda alone or with help solely from the family elder. The convener or should, if possible, work with a small group of two or three people who act as the steering committee, representing different roles and generations. The steering committee should, in turn, reach out and talk with all family members about what they would like to accomplish in a . The committee can then define a theme, or big task, and craft an agenda so the members know the purpose and what will be discussed. There may also be discussions about whom to invite—whether to include in-laws and if should attend (and what is the appropriate age for those children).
4. Clarify Format and
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The monograph Talking it Through, offered some basic tools and resources for setting up a family meeting. This Handbook offers more detail and concrete suggestions for setting up and conducting family meetings about money, wealth, and family business. It also contains many specific suggestions for a...