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Old Man's Horror Things and More.

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Old Man's Horror Things and More.

Old guy here!!!👨🏼‍🦳A lifelong devotee of horror and the macabre. From blood-soaked films🩸to eerie tales, I review it all. Dare to follow me???💀🕯️

Horror Lover, Horror Movies, Terror memes, Horror News

04/22/2026

*The Mummy (2026)*
Score: 6 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Lee Cronin’s “The Mummy” opens with a strong premise and atmosphere that immediately hooks you. The mystery and body horror elements, especially the gore sequences, give it a distinctive edge and set it apart from traditional mummy films.

But halfway through, the tension collapses. The story devolves into chaos, driven by characters making illogical choices, and the climax drags into an unconvincing twenty-minute stretch that kills the momentum.

Cronin’s attempt to reinvent the mummy mythos—blending shades of “Evil Dead Rise” (2023), “Hereditary” (2018), and “The Exorcist” (1973)—is bold, but the ex*****on falters. Verdict: Watchable and occasionally striking, but lower your expectations to avoid disappointment.

04/08/2026

*They Will Kill You (2026)*
Score: 8 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

I watched “They Will Kill You” (2026) in theaters this evening. Honestly, I wasn’t planning to watch it — I figured it would just be another one of those. But this movie was pure chaos in the best way possible. What starts off looking like a typical survival thriller quickly flips the script with a supernatural twist — and suddenly you’re on a blood-soaked, devil-worshipping rollercoaster.

Think “Kill Bill” (2003) meets “John Wick” (2014), sprinkled with the absurdity of “The Hunt” (2020) and the relentless energy of “Die Hard” (1988). It’s gory, violent, and ridiculously fun, shifting between horror, dark comedy, and action without ever slowing down.

You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably ask yourself “WTF am I watching?” — but that’s the point. If you can embrace the madness, this one delivers nonstop entertainment and a wild, unforgettable ride.

03/26/2026

*Scream 7 (2025)*
Score: 6 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

It took me a while to catch up with this latest entry, sorry, having only revisited the original long ago. To my surprise, the pacing here is steady, and the inventive kills gave the audience something to enjoy.

Unfortunately, the reveal of the killers derailed everything. Their motives lacked credibility, had no meaningful connection to the series’ legacy, and left the finale feeling flat.

Fans will likely embrace the nostalgia, but it’s clear the franchise has been stretched beyond reason. Watchable, yes, and quite entertaining—but hollow. “Scream 4” (2011) remains the weakest in my view, yet this new chapter proves the series has long since run out of ideas.

03/04/2026

*Yummy (2019)*
SCORE: 6 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Back in my day, zombie films were simple… but this Belgian one called “Yummy” gave me a good laugh. It’s full of blood, chaos, and a bit of fun. A young couple goes to a shabby hospital for plastic surgery, and well… things go terribly wrong.

Now, don’t expect a masterpiece or a classic of horror. At my age, I’ve seen plenty of zombies already. But I must say, the 90 minutes pass quickly, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. That’s a blessing sometimes.

So, if you’ve got some time to waste and want a laugh with your scares, “Yummy” is worth a watch. Not original but entertaining enough for an old soul like me.

03/03/2026

*Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025)*
SCORE: 6 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

I’ve lived long enough to see this franchise reborn more than once, and let me tell you—this latest attempt isn’t just a copy of the 1984 cult gem, nor the 2012 redo. Director Nelson takes the bones of the story and stitches together a grindhouse-flavored Christmas nightmare, with a touch of paranormal.

Yes, the violence is here, and the gore is solid. Nothing groundbreaking for seasoned slasher fans but it’s entertaining, nonetheless. What surprised me most was the twist about our lead character’s secret—an addition that gave the film perhaps a spark of freshness.

Now, I must be honest: the third act limps. After a strong start, the energy fades, and the finale doesn’t quite deliver the punch it promised. Still, for a holiday watch, it’s a decent ride.

02/25/2026

*Keeper (2025)*
SCORE: 4 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Okay… this was my third time giving Osgood Perkins a chance, and I think that’s it for me. Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me three times? Done.

I’ll admit—the cinematography and the setting are solid. The atmosphere is there, and the premise had potential. But the movie drags at a snail’s pace, and every minute feels longer than it should.

The biggest problem? The writing and the characters. They’re underdeveloped, the dialogue is borderline cringeworthy, and the two leads have zero chemistry. Acting feels flat, and instead of pulling me in, it just pushed me away.

Yes, the creepy creatures at the end were great, but they arrive way too late to save the film. Overall, “Keeper” comes across as rushed, leaning more on Perkins’ reputation than on actual storytelling strength.

In the end, it promised more than it delivered. For me, it was boring, unengaging, and a missed opportunity.

02/04/2026

Send Help (2026)
SCORE: 7 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Sam Raimi’s latest is a bizarre mash-up of “Cast Away” (2000) and “Misery” (1990), packed with jump scares, grotesque humor, and his unmistakable style.

Rachel McAdams delivers a standout performance, with Dylan O’Brien providing strong support. Raimi’s trademark energy and creativity shine throughout. The main drawback is the uneven tone—shifting too often between serious drama and goofy comedy—which may feel disconcerting to some viewers.

While Raimi’s earlier work leaned heavily on practical effects, this film relies more on CGI. The digital effects are noticeable and sometimes distracting, making audiences miss the tactile, gritty feel of his classics. Still, the grotesque comedy and inventive visuals keep viewers engaged.

This isn’t a serious horror movie—it’s a ridiculous, messy, and fun ride. Despite its tonal swings and reliance on CGI, Raimi’s style and the strong performances from the cast make it worth watching. You’ll laugh, squirm, and jump—and ultimately, you’ll have a good time with this one.

02/02/2026

*Cold Storage (2026)*
SCORE: 7 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

“Cold Storage” is a throwback that proudly channels the campy spirit of ’80s and ’90s B-movies. Mixing creature-feature nostalgia with a modern pandemic twist, it delivers exactly what it promises: goofy chaos, cheesy thrills, and a parasitic space fungus that mutates fast enough to turn humans into spore-ridden shells.

The tone is unapologetically loud—built for jump scares, disgust humor, and shared laughter rather than serious horror. Joe Keery’s quirky energy keeps things playful, while Liam Neeson’s seriousness grounds the madness, striking a fun balance. The scares are mild, leaning more toward slime and spectacle than suspense, and the runtime is just right—never overstaying.

It’s more silly than scary, but that’s the point. For fans of retro creature features and campy sci-fi, “Cold Storage” is a blast of VHS-era nostalgia. Skip it if you’re chasing cutting-edge horror, but if you want popcorn fun with killer fungi, this one delivers.

01/16/2026

*28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026)*
SCORE: 5 🧟/10🧟‍♂️

The film struggles to live up to its predecessor. While not an outright failure, it often feels more like filler. The film abandons much of the zombie horror atmosphere that defined the series, leaning instead into post-apocalyptic spectacle and raw gore.

The standout moment is the “Number of the Beast” sequence—a striking visual set piece. Yet, despite this highlight, the narrative neglects Spike’s character arc, wasting the groundwork laid in the first film.

Fans of gore may enjoy the increase in violence and jump scares, but the emotional depth is missing. Fortunately, the acting elevates the material: Ralph Fiennes brings seriousness, while Jack O’Connell impresses as the psychotic Jimmy Crystal.

Verdict: A visually bold but uneven sequel—memorable in moments, but disappointing in its lack of character growth and true horror atmosphere.

01/13/2026

*Clown in a Cornfield (2025)*
SCORE: 6.5🧟/10🧟‍♂️

“Clown in a Cornfield” is one of those low-budget slashers that sneaks up on you. I went in expecting very little, figured it would be a mess, but it turned out to be a fun ride.

It moves quickly, never drags, and the humor sprinkled throughout keeps things lively. The kills are creative, bloody, and delivered with a wink, which makes it feel like a teen flick—but with more bite and gore.

It’s not trying to be clever or satirical like some modern horror. Instead, it plays its ridiculous premise straight, almost like something you’d stumble across on VHS thirty years ago. Sure, it’s not a masterpiece, but it’s entertaining, has some neat twists on the genre, and gives you exactly what you came for.

01/10/2026

*Primate (2025)*
SCORE: 6.5🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Back from college, Lucy reunites with her family — including their chimpanzee, Ben. What begins as a lighthearted pool party quickly spirals into chaos when Ben contracts rabies and turns violent.

When I first heard about this movie, I figured it would be a stinker. It instantly reminded me of “Cujo” back in the day — a calm animal goes mad, and terror follows. But to my surprise, “Primate” isn’t half bad. It’s bloody, it’s loud, it’s horror through and through. Plenty of gore, no shortage there.

The story is straightforward. It delivers exactly what it promises — no twists, no deeper meaning, just raw chaos. The characters are mostly forgettable, and they make some of the dumbest choices imaginable. But in a way, that’s part of the fun.

Don’t take it too seriously. Sit back, enjoy the madness, and you’ll have a good time. But listen, it’s a one‑and‑done. Fun for the ride, not something you’ll rewatch.

11/11/2025

*Predator: Badlands (2025)*
SCORE: 7.5🧟/10🧟‍♂️

Dan Trachtenberg, who gave us “Prey” (2022), returns with a bold new take. This isn’t horror anymore—it’s sci-fi action-adventure-PG-13-aimed at a younger crowd. Think “Mandalorian” (2019), but in the Predator universe.

Visually? All there. The soundtrack hits hard, and the action scenes are thrilling and beautifully shot. I genuinely enjoyed them. It’s very watchable, though it diverges from classic lore. We’re exploring Predator civilization now—one vision of their world, their lives, their rules.

Original fans might feel left out. But if you go in open-minded, there’s emotion, spectacle, and a fresh direction. It leaves you wanting more from the franchise—though personally, I’d prefer a return to its original essence.

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