Clarence Ted Mole Comics

Clarence Ted Mole Comics Clarence Ted Mole is about the adventures of our main martial arts trained detective from Sydney Aus

Later on Clarence and Lucky are going down Sharia Abu Seifan in the unmarked police car and are passing through Coptic C...
04/03/2021

Later on Clarence and Lucky are going down Sharia Abu Seifan in the unmarked police car and are passing through Coptic Cairo.
Lucky: So tell me Clarence, how are Todd and his beaut girlfriend doing lately?
Clarence: Todd and Kat are both doing ripper Lucky and just the other day, he told Sydney and I over our Facey page that he had a great time eating tea over at her oldie's house.
Lucky: Kat's such a sweet lass mate and Todd's very lucky to have her in his life and as usual, I still like having her mum Lynn as my dentist. And we all know that her dad Seth is such a ripper and nice bloke to be around as well and Andrew really loved having him as his pediatrician when he was a lot younger.
Clarence: I agree Lucky, Mr. and Mrs Nguyen are both very great to be around, and Geraldine enjoys working with Kat's mum over at the dentist's office and Kat still thanks you all the time for fixing her up with Todd.
Lucky: Too right she does mate, and I didn't have to call Cupid to fire his magic arrow's into their heart's when they were both thirteen and by the way, what did Todd have for tea over at Kat's villa?
Clarence: Todd had a traditional Vietnamese dinner with Kat and her oldie's Lucky, they had cahn chua ca and bahn bo nuang for dessert, and Todd also mentioned that it wasn't a piece of p*** trying to say prayer's before and after tea in the Vietnamese language.
Lucky: The Nguyen's still know how to make their ripper Vietnamese tucker Clarence, and Marisa, Andrew, and I's favorite's that we like to eat are bahn xeo and pho which we all know is the numero uno dish of the Vietnamese nation.
Clarence: Kat as we all know is attending the University of Sydney studying to be a pediatrician like her dad is, and Todd mentioned to me that she's trying to lose some weight so she can set a good example for the happy little vegemites and make sure that they eat right and exercise.
Lucky: Yeah I know since Kat has a big plump pot belly and isn't a big fitness but like Todd and the rest of us are but were all happy as a dog with two tail's though that he still love's her and view's her as the most beaut lass in his life.and I wouldn't be surprised if one day Todd and Kat decide to get married and become husband and cook when the time is right and since her parent's have mentioned to us before that they wouldn't care what ethnicity the bloke she wants to be with is as long as they love each other.
Clarence: Too right lad cause she and her oldie's aren't fan's of racial prejudice, and I know that he wouldn't want to be looking like a dog's breakfast if they were against Anglo-Aussie's and as for marriage, well Todd and Kat aren't worried about tying the knot at the moment since they're still happy being a dating couple.
Look's like a dog's breakfast is Aussie slang for being in a dreadful mess.
Pho is of course a Vietnamese soup consisting of noodle's, sliced beef, and onion's in a broth.
Cahn chua ca is a Vietnamese hot and sour soup made with pineapple, catfish, and chili.
Bahn xeo is a pancake of pork and prawn wrapped in a lettuce leaf and served with a tangy lime and chili dip.
Bahn bo nuang is a round Vietnamese puff pastry filled with frosting.

Sydney: I have a feeling the Colonel Ali might have helped Mr. Ma and his gang of no-hoper's plan the ambush of your dig...
03/30/2021

Sydney: I have a feeling the Colonel Ali might have helped Mr. Ma and his gang of no-hoper's plan the ambush of your digger's along Sharia al-Ahram so they can nick the computer's after killing them General Mahfouz.
Youssef: I have to agree with you Mrs Cheesebro-Mole since he knows when the troop's will be making their round's and getting ready to ship the good's to their intended destination and to tell you the truth, The Colonel is a major league piece of s***.
Clarence: The Colonel is definitely gonna be in heap's of trouble for pulling off a s*** load of swiftie's behind this nation's back by masquerading as this brave and bold digger fighting for what's right when in reality he's been pulling off all sort's of nasty a** job's for crime bosses who need to get a boot in their a**** General Mahfouz.
Youssef: I wouldn't mind seeing him hung upside down by his ankle's but if he's involved with Mr. Ma and his crew, then he must be stopped right here right now and I'm gonna get with the Ministry of Defense right this second so I can have them issue an order to have Colonel Ali detained.
Hakim: We hear you loud and clear General cause the sooner we get him and Mr. Ma, the sooner we can recover the computer's that should be in the possession of your troop's.
Youssef: You and me both Captain Saleh cause I'm not in the mood to see them fall into the hand's of terrorist's, gangsters, drug dealer's, and rogue nation's like North Korea for example.
Hakim then turn's his attention to Lucky.
Hakim: Oh and Lucky, it's a good thing you and Clarence got Mr. Qaitbey off the street because my fellow officer's discovered over one million Egyptian pound's worth of co***ne, ecstasy, hashish, he**in, and L*D. And it's not just drug's they discovered at his coffeehouse because they also found stolen good's, gambling paraphernalia, weapon's, and image's of men, women, and children maimed or killed in those illegal boxing and MMA fight's on his laptop.
Lucky: Too right Hakim and plus that brainless boof head also confessed to Clarence and I that he was also using underage kid's as slave labor at his coffeehouse and mansion and not only that, he also told us that he had his bouncer's kill and mutilate a poor young lass in her late teen's for refusing to have root with his client's. We found her hacked remains in the dumpster out in the front parking lot.
Hakim: May Allah have mercy on those poor children and may he also guide that poor girl's soul to paradise.
Here's more Aussie slang.
Swiftie is a trick or fast one such for example Bart Simpson love's pulling off swiftie's on the show.
Boof head is also an idiotic person.

Ismail then say's If you want to know where Hadji is currently and what the plan is for those computer's, go talk to Anw...
03/29/2021

Ismail then say's If you want to know where Hadji is currently and what the plan is for those computer's, go talk to Anwar Ali at his apartment on Sharia Abu Seifan in the Old Cairo district not far from the Coptic area. To tell you and your friend the sorry a** truth, I never really liked Hadji because he and his crew don't pay my waiter's and waitresses very well when it's time to tip them for their kind service's, taunt their opponent's at backgammon, and make unwanted sexual advances towards both the waitresses and female customer's both local and tourist's and h***, I wouldn't care if the government of his native China decides to cap his sorry behind in a rank and dank cell that's as dark as the tomb's of the New Kingdom Pharaoh's in the Valley of The King's.
Clarence: That's all we need to know Mr. Qaitbey and hopefully you'll get a ripper deal and not have to worry about being executed at Torah Prison for your heinous crime's and then end up being chewed on by the vulture's out in the desert as if you were a tyape.
Later on Clarence and Lucky along Sydney are all in the break room at the police station with Hakim and Youssef.
Hakim: So what did you and Lucky get out of Mr. Qaitbey Clarence?
Clarence: Mr. Qaitbey told us that he hasn't seen Mr. Ma since yesterday morning when he and his hoon's stopped by The Khedive's Quarter's to chug some coffee and tea and go over their carefully skilled plan to pull off the bail up of that army convoy on Sharia al-Ahram last night.
Lucky: He has no b***** idea where Mr. Ma is holed up since he never stay's in one place for all that long and h***, it's not like he and his larrikin's are living it up in some fancy a** California bungalow smoking some exy cigar's and snacking on chockie truffles, and he also doesn't know where he's hoarding those computer's or what the plan is for them.
Clarence: But he did mention to us that if we want to find out the answer, we have to chat with Anwar Ali at his unit on Sharia Abu Seifan in the Old Cairo area near it's Coptic district.
Youssef: I'm familiar with Anwar Ali everyone, he's a colonel in the Egyptian Army and he's married to his wife Mumtaz who is a former actress from Kolkata India and he has two teenage son's, and he's still under investigation for drug dealing, arm's trafficking, graft, smuggling illegal immigrant's into Europe, making deal's with organized crime syndicates from the Cosa Nostra to the Mexican Mafia, and soliciting contract killings.
Tyape is an edible grub and it's a word from the language of the Arandic Aborigines deep in the Central Australian Outback.

Clarence then gets into sumo stance, hoists Ismail off the floor, slam's him flat onto his back, and then Clarence side ...
03/28/2021

Clarence then gets into sumo stance, hoists Ismail off the floor, slam's him flat onto his back, and then Clarence side mount's him so he cannot get back up to try and resist him any further. Clarence then gets back onto his feet, grabs Ismail by the collar of his dress shirt, and lift's him forcefully onto his feet.
Clarence: Listen up Mr. Qaitbey you brain dead wa**er, I ought to make rat coffin's out of your sorry a**, stuff you into a bum bag, and toss you into the dunny for putting a gun to my Gregory Peck!
Ismail defiantly say's to Clarence As they say in the United States you boomerang f****** pig, bite me.
Lucky: Cut the bulldust you worthless mug alec since you already made a big blue threatening my ripper mate here at gunpoint and plus we already know about your heinous crime's that your still under investigation for from drug dealing to soliciting prozzie's! The most heinous of which is using underage anklebiters against their will to clean up this joint and make bickie's and short macchiato's for your customer's!
Clarence: Right now we'd like to know where your best customer Mr. Ma is holed up, where he's hiding the computer's that's meant for the Egyptian military, and what he has planned for them or I'll be more than glad to toss you over the railing and watch you go splat!
Ismail panic's and say's to Clarence Okay okay I'll tell you and your friend what I know! Clarence then releases his hold on Ismail's dress shirt so he can talk, and Ismail then say's The last time I saw Hadji was yesterday morning when he and his crew came into this coffeehouse to down some ahwa and chai and go over their plan to obtain those computer's from that military convoy that was going down Sharia al-Ahram and no I don't know where he and his crew are hiding out cause he never stay's in one place for very long, where he's hiding the computer's or what he has planned for them cause for all I know, he might want to play Grand Theft Auto on them.
Ahwa is strong black Egyptian coffee by the way.
Here's more Aussie slang.
Bum bag is what Aussie's call the f***y pack here in America.
Bickie is a sweet biscuit.
Short macchisto's are espresso's with a stain of cold milk.

Ismail draw's a pistol out of his business suit, run's up to Clarence, presses the pistol against his throat, and defian...
03/25/2021

Ismail draw's a pistol out of his business suit, run's up to Clarence, presses the pistol against his throat, and defiantly say's to him Alright kangaroo man, I want you and your friend to take out your gun's, toss them over the railing, and then get down onto your knee's. Clarence quickly pivots to the left, grabs Ismail's right hand and the bend of his elbow, redirects the pistol outward, executes a rising shin kick to Ismail's crotch, cups the pistol with both hand's, twists inward towards Ismail's face and yanks it out of his right hand, raises the pistol upward and pop's Ismail in his right temple with the barrel of the pistol, tosses it aside, and then Clarence shoot's in towards Ismail, lunges forward, and grabs the bends of his knee's.
What a dumb*** Ismail was being huh, thinking that he could threaten Clarence into submission with a gun pressed onto any part of his body, well then give Ismail an award for being a brain dead dope.

As soon as Lucky shoves the first bouncer aside, the second bouncer gets down onto his knee's, grabs Lucky's throat, and...
03/25/2021

As soon as Lucky shoves the first bouncer aside, the second bouncer gets down onto his knee's, grabs Lucky's throat, and gets to work choking him but Lucky quickly raises his hand's, grabs the bouncer's wrists, flings his leg's backward, wrap's his shin's around the bouncer's neck and head, hoists him off his knee's and tosses him into the air, and then Lucky slam's the second bouncer on top of the first bouncer's stomach. A few second's later, Clarence and Lucky quickly come up to the staircase and they run up the stair's and onto the second floor balcony. All of a sudden, Ismail walk's out of his office, side step's towards Clarence and Lucky, and quickly place's his right hand behind his back.

Over in the lounge where the flat screen TV on the wall is, a bouncer run's up to Lucky and grabs the sleeve's of his bu...
03/25/2021

Over in the lounge where the flat screen TV on the wall is, a bouncer run's up to Lucky and grabs the sleeve's of his business suit, and then Lucky quickly grabs the lapel's of the bouncer's leisure suit, raises his right leg and slam's it against the bouncer's right shin making him lose his balance, and then Lucky pivots to the right, take's the bouncer onto the floor, quickly straddles his right arm placing it between his knee's, lean's backward and gets down onto his back, and then Lucky hyperextends the bouncer's right elbow really hard breaking it, but he doesn't notice that another bouncer has just approached him.

A few second's later Clarence and Lucky walk into the main dining area on the first floor of The Khedive's Quarter's and...
03/25/2021

A few second's later Clarence and Lucky walk into the main dining area on the first floor of The Khedive's Quarter's and then all of a sudden, a waiter walk's up to Clarence and throw's a left and right hook but Clarence obstructs them both with a downward open palm block, slips his right forearm underneath the waiter's right armpit, wrap's his hand's and forearm's around the waiter's right elbow and shoulder, pivots to the right, slam's his right foot against the waiter's right ankle unbalancing him, rotates the waiter to the right, and then Clarence lunges forward and bashes the base of the waiter's skull against the edge of the indoor fountain knocking him out.

Clarence quickly slips to the left, grabs the waiter's left wrist and elbow and lowers his arm downward, gets behind his...
03/23/2021

Clarence quickly slips to the left, grabs the waiter's left wrist and elbow and lowers his arm downward, gets behind his left arm and grip's the left sleeve of his shalwar-kameez, raises his right leg and executes a foot sweep to the waiter's right leg unbalancing him, and then Clarence slam's his right foot against the waiter's right ankle foot sweeping him onto his right rib cage, and then Clarence mount's the waiter and executes a left jab to his jaw knocking him out.

Meanwhile a waiter run's up to Lucky and throw's a right hook but Lucky duck's to avoid taking that right hook to his ja...
03/23/2021

Meanwhile a waiter run's up to Lucky and throw's a right hook but Lucky duck's to avoid taking that right hook to his jaw, and then he gets behind the waiter, wrap's his forearm's around his throat putting him in a rear naked choke, pivots to the left and hoists the waiter off the floor and onto his back, slam's him onto his stomach, and then Lucky squats down and squeezes the waiter's throat till he passes out. Elsewhere in the kitchen a waiter walk's up to Clarence and cock's his left fist back getting ready to execute a left head level jab.

A few second's later Clarence and Lucky walk into the kitchen and are passing by a few waiter's cleaning the eating uten...
03/23/2021

A few second's later Clarence and Lucky walk into the kitchen and are passing by a few waiter's cleaning the eating utensils, and then a waiter walk's up to Clarence whose now showing him his badge and say's Excuse me sir but only employee's are allowed back here in the kitchen.
Clarence: Were detective's mate and we didn't come here to sample the short black's. We came here to talk to Mr. Qaitbey so just back off and don't give us any bull****.
The waiter raises his hand's up in a boxer's guard and so does Clarence and he angrily say's Go f*** yourself. The waiter throw's a left cross and then a right hook but Clarence obstructs them with a rising double elbow block, and then he shoot's in crashing into the waiter, grabs the base of his skull, and executes a headbutt to his face knocking him out.

Meanwhile the first bouncer run's up to Lucky and throw's a right head level jab but Lucky obstructs it with a rising he...
03/23/2021

Meanwhile the first bouncer run's up to Lucky and throw's a right head level jab but Lucky obstructs it with a rising head level block, and then he shoot's in and wrap's his arm's around the bouncer's back, grabs the right sleeve of his leisure suit with his left hand, pivots to the right unbalancing the bouncer, hoists him off his feet and hip tosses him over his back, and then Lucky slam's the bouncer onto the concrete and place's his right knee onto his armpit, and then Lucky raises his left leg and executes a stamp kick to the bouncer's nose making blood ooze out.

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