99.9 the Q

12/07/2025

Laura in Centerville writes:

My widowed mom recently started using home aides, and at first I was relieved asthey were friendly, helpful, and she liked having them around. But lately, I’ve noticed they’re getting a little too comfortable.

They take long personal breaks, hang out in her kitchen chatting, help themselves to her snacks, and sometimes stay way past their shift “just talking.” My mom doesn’t seem to mind, but I feel like they’re treating her house more like a lounge than a workplace. I don’t want to overreact, and I don’t want to upset my mom if she enjoys the company. But at the same time, she’s paying for professional care, not social time.

Do I say something to the aides? Call the agency? Or leave it alone because my mom likes the company?

12/05/2025

12/04/2025

“Gia” in Barnstable writes:

I’m recently engaged and lately I’ve started to question whether I’m carrying more than my fair share of the mental and emotional workload in our relationship. When things need to be done, he’ll technically help — but often in ways that feel incomplete or careless. For example, if I ask him to handle something like booking a repair or organizing plans, he’ll either do it wrong, forget key details, or ask so many questions that it ends up being easier for me to take over and fix it myself. He insists he’s trying and says he just “doesn’t think the way I do,” but I’m starting to feel like this pattern trains me to step in every time — and him to step back. I don’t want to micromanage or accuse him unfairly, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my marriage managing everything. So my question is:
How do you deal with what feels intentional — especially when you’re not sure and can’t prove that it is?

12/04/2025

Coming up ...

12/03/2025

Mac in Plymouth writes:

I moved in with my fiancée a few months ago and I’m noticing something I didn’t expect. I’m the one who sees the dishes, the trash, the laundry and I take care of it. I’m not a neat freak, but I notice when things need to be done.

She doesn’t and I believe its not out of laziness, just genuinely not registering the mess. She’s kind, funny, and hardworking, but she lives in her head and doesn’t see the household stuff the same way I do.

The issue is I’m doing about 90% of the work. When I stop to see if she’ll notice, nothing happens.

I don’t want to be her housekeeper, but I also don’t want to sound controlling or nitpicky.

So how do I bring this up without making her feel attacked?

12/02/2025

Sheri in Wareham writes:
I’ve been at my job for several years and consistently go above and beyond. I train new employees, take on extra responsibilities, and keep things running smoothly. I’m respected — just not flashy.

A promotion recently opened up, and I thought I had a real shot. Instead, it went to a more outgoing coworker who self-promotes well, even though the role doesn’t require either one of those things. I actually trained her, which makes it sting more.

I was told I’m valued and reliable, but that I need to be “more visible.” Now I’m questioning everything. Do I force myself to play the outgoing/self promoting game, even if it feels fake? Or is this a sign to stop giving so much to a place that doesn’t reward it and look for a job where the work actually speaks for itself?

12/02/2025

Tuesday’s Tail from the MSPCA Cape Cod is Snowball the dog:

Snowball is currently in foster care – if you are interested in meeting Snowball please fill out this inquiry form and a member of our foster team will be in touch to coordinate a meet up!

Meet Snowball! This sensitive guy came from a situation with many other dogs living in one home, so he is looking for a patient adopter who can help him settle in and learn how to be successful in a home at his own pace. New people, dogs and environments can be scary for Snowball, and he is not afraid to use his voice to communicate his discomfort. He would do best in a low-traffic home and quiet neighborhood that he can explore as he grows comfortable.

Visit www.mspca.org/petresources to learn how to prepare for a successful first few weeks at home with a your adopted pet!

12/01/2025

Tasha in Hyannis writes:
I love my best friend — we’ve known each other since college, talk all the time, and have been through a lot together. But lately, I’m starting to feel like our friendship is completely one-sided.

Every time we talk, it’s the same pattern: she launches into another long rant about work drama, dating disasters, or family issues, and I listen for an hour or more. But the second I try to share something — even just a small thing — she changes the subject or has to “run.”

I’m feeling unpaid therapist instead of an equal partner in the friendship.

So what’s the right way to handle it? Do I bring it up directly — “I feel like I’m always listening and never being heard” — or is there a gentler way to say it without sounding accusatory?

11/30/2025

“Erin” in Plymouth writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and neither of us was religious at all — until he got into a pretty scary car accident a few months ago. He felt that it was a miracle that he walked away from this when he could have been killed. Ever since then, he’s felt like that was some kind of sign, and now he goes to church every Sunday and talks a lot more about faith.

I respect that this has become important to him, and I’ve been clear that I don’t share those beliefs. That’s never been an issue between us… until recently. He’s started saying that when we have kids someday, he wants to raise them in the church — something that was never part of our plans before.

Now I’m not sure what to do.

Do I stick around and hope this is a phase because of the accident that settles over time, or do I take this seriously as a core difference about our future and move on before we get more deeply committed?