07/21/2025
My goal for my business, is simple: I try to help anyone and everyone to face and overcome any creative fears they may have.
In that spirit, I want to share the fears I faced this week. Not all creative but at this season of life I am still so excited to keep checking off boxes and I hope I never stop.
Firstly, I went on a trip to NYC by myself! I have lived in cities and traveled many places but I have NEVER actually gone on a trip by my damn self and certainly not into NYC.
Some of you may be like “so what” and some of you have yet to try this either, but we all have our own journeys.
Inside of this general solo city challenge was the challenge to be alone in my own head (scary), to accomodate no-one but myself (exhilarating), to figure out the subway system without assistance (took a few tries), to enter into music clubs, restaurants, bars and cafes alone AND to walk home alone at night.
As a Mom I have stayed in the safety of providing for others. Going with the flow and taking everyone’s needs into account has actually shielded me from asking harder questions of myself.
“What do I want?” “What actually makes me happy without needing to provide for or be provided for anyone else?”
These answers do not come easy for me as i react to everyone in my path. In New York there was no path but the one i created.
I walked through Central Park (yes, from tip to toe), went to an overhyped art show in Brooklyn (see previous post) ate “girl dinner” style without eating a single actual meal all week and ultimately realized the constant buzz of the city soothed & body doubled me like no place else ever has. The noisier the city, the quieter my brain. Go figure!
I met new people at every turn and the energy exchange between strangers sharing a moment of curiosity or kindness has a way of filling my dopamine tank faster than anything else
No expectations. Only connections.
The learning continued as I returned home. My Beau lives in DC and bikes everywhere. I suck on a bike. I ride with clenched teeth, white knuckles and a smile. I love biking but i fear my own ineptness at the same time.
I know that trepidation is not always the best move while biking so im determined to get better at trusting myself and my instincts
Anyway last night I learned how (with help from said Beau☺️) to bring a bike onto the metro, how to load a bike on the front of a bus, how to carry a ebike up an escalator when the station has closed all the elevators, and how to find the station manager when you are locked in a closed metro station in DC at 1am.
My reward for all this learning was a nearly perfectlyy empty bike ride through DC. No cars (just police) no other bikers, no noise really, just a summer night breeze (well early morning) minus the humidity for once. It was a glorious end to an adventuresome date!
Anyway. That was a LOT of firsts for me for one week and although there is a small speck of embarrassment that these are all new experiences im having in my 50’s, I’m pretty proud of myself and with only a few tears 😂
Soooo, this is my long winded way of asking, what creative fears are you facing and how can I help?? 🥰
Ps-i also overcame my fear of using oil varnish!!!! Yay me 🙂
