12/16/2025
When I met my husband, there was something about him that was instantly different. He says what he means and means what he says.
Though he acknowledged that he knows that women are often moved by what they hear and men by what they see, he never tried to impress me by living a fake life or filling my ears with lies - something many women hate but still love to hear: lies, because they’re pleasing to hear.
Whenever I asked him about what the future holds for us, instead of selling me false promises or giving me false hope, he always told me that the future would not always be smooth or full of roses.
Like Dr. Tai Solarin, my husband chooses to ride on rough roads, sail on stormy seas, and fly through turbulent skies because, according to him, these build resilience and growth, and any success built on resilience and growth stands the test of time.
Throughout our dating journey, he never promised me heaven and earth, yet he has gone above and beyond to give me heaven and earth. In other words, he’d rather act out than voice out, and prefers showing me how he feels about me to telling me how he feels about me.
I have watched him grow. I saw the excitement on his face when he earned his bachelor’s degree, and it was a first class.
I saw the excitement on his face each time he received a fully funded scholarship offer to study abroad - from the first offer to the sixth offer.
I saw the excitement on his face when his visa was approved.
I saw the excitement on his face, through a video call, when he arrived in the United States to begin his PhD program.
And on the days he earned his master’s degree with distinction, passed his PhD qualifying exam, successfully petitioned for candidacy, and passed his PhD comprehensive examination (comps), that look on his face never changed.
That excitement has always reminded me of a young man who is hungry and determined to grow and succeed despite all odds.
Today is not his birthday, nor is it our anniversary, but I feel like celebrating him today.
The fall semester is coming to an end and I wrote this piece while sitting in the living room and watching him grade his students in the study.
Cc: Asa Ojadike