12/11/2025
Yall please tell me why this bill hit the table last night and I almost passed out before I could even pretend to reach for my wallet. I looked at the total and swore the restaurant accidentally charged me for the building lease, the chef’s rent, and the light bill because what on earth is nine hundred sixty seven dollars for food that disappeared in twelve minutes. I sat there smiling like everything was fine but deep down my soul was packing its bags and leaving my body.
My girl looking at me all happy because it’s her birthday and I am sitting here debating if I should fake a phone call or pretend I left my wallet in another city. Then I realized the only thing I had in my pocket was that little gold chocolate coin they put on top of the dessert. So I slid it under the receipt like it was legal tender and prayed the waiter had a sweet tooth. Older folks on here gon say I should be ashamed of myself while younger people like me understand survival mode was activated. Be honest would yall have done the same thing or should I start washing dishes in the back.
The petty part of me is still mad because the waiter suggested tip options that were literally another hundred dollars each. Like sir you already took my dignity now you want the rest of my bank account. I need Facebook to settle this because I know I am not the only one that has fought for their life at a fancy restaurant. What would yall have done if this bill landed in front of you....