12/25/2025
I (24f) walked out of a congratulatory make up party my parents were throwing for me after my sister (30f) announced she had miscarried. So the party name is probably confusing to some people so let me explain. My whole life, I have been told that the day I was born was the worst day in our family because it was also the day my sister was diagnosed with cancer. This was mentioned many times when I was growing up and it always made me feel weird. My family hated celebrating my birthday and they would often ignore my actual birthday and choose a new date to celebrate me, normally it was a few weeks after my actual birthday. This was because the day held "no happy memories" for them. During my 10th birthday party (not close to my actual birthday but another late celebration to make everyone happy) my parents and sister decided to announce that my sister's cancer had returned and she was undergoing more treatment. All celebration died and I had to send my friends home. When I turned 16 my friends decided to throw me a party to celebrate me on my actual birthday (it was a Saturday that year). My best friends parents helped them organize it. My sister wasn't invited but decided to show up and started telling everyone she had another cancer scare three weeks before. My best friends parents tried to keep her occupied but she said she wanted to be there to celebrate me but all she did was share almost bad news. When I graduated high school my sister announced her engagement had ended and she cried the whole time and my family decided to cancel the party they had booked for after, because my sister needed comfort. I finally spoke to my parents a few months ago and told them how awful it made me feel to have these things happen, especially the ongoing reminder that the day I was born was the worst day of their lives. I asked them if they realized how s__tty it feels to know your family can't find any happiness that you were born and that you're reminded of that your whole life. They apologized and said they felt so bad. They told me they would throw me a graduation party to congratulate me for my achievements. I also spoke to my sister but she was less receptive to considering my feelings. Despite some reservations I went because my parents appeared to be trying to do better. But then my sister showed up and announced she'd had a miscarriage to everyone and the party died as the focus went to her. Her husband told me I should make non-family leave because my sister needed family around her. So I left. Took people 2 hours to notice and when they did they were all asking what the hell I thought I was doing leaving like that and my sister cried down the phone to me that she thought I above everyone would support her. She asked how I could be so cold. AITA?
