06/01/2025
Warning: What you are about to read could potentially upset you.
Still with me? Thank you.
As we start June, I thought I would share this:
FIVE REASONS I CELEBRATE PRIDE:
1). In high school, a teacher asked me in front of all of my peers, "Randall, are you bringing your BOYFRIEND to the prom?" in tones of obvious disdain and disapproval. Later that day, I found my locker vandalized and 3 different threatening notes. Two in my locker and one on my car, which had been keyed.
2). High School again. The student council, as a fundraiser, circulated "matchmaking questionnaires" around Valentine's Day. You answered a series of questions and were supposed to receive a printout that would show you your matches within the school. Later, when the results were delivered, I discovered that someone in the student council had changed the gender listed on my sheet to female so I showed up on all of the boys' lists. Another round of harassment and bullying ensued.
3). In my first year teaching at Harrisburg, one of the students asked when they would get to meet my wife. I replied, "I don't have a wife; I have a husband." Two days later, that student, one of my star beginning trumpet players, was removed from my class. The parent said, "I don't want a F****T teaching my kid."
4). In 2011, Steve and I decided to get legally married (we already considered ourselves married but had no such certificate). We had to do so in another state, hundreds of miles away from family and friends, as it was not legal in our state at the time. It would be 6 more years before it was legal in Arkansas, and 11 more years before we had the wedding of our dreams with all of our loved ones in attendence.
5). In 2019, I was disinvited from conducting an honor band. A group of parents, having found my Facebook profile and seen pictures of Steven and me together, complained to the organizer, and my invitation was rescinded. The same group sent me threats via social media. I forwarded screencaps of the messages to their employers. Two of them were band directors.
So, you might be asking yourself...
Why do I celebrate?
Here are FIVE MORE REASONS I CELEBRATE PRIDE:
1). I'm sitting in my Grandmother Irene's kitchen. She is cooking lunch and it's a rare moment when it is just she and I.
"Grandma, I've got something I want to tell you."
"What is it, hon?"
I swallow, nerves turned up to eleven.
"I'm gay."
She puts down her spatula and looks at me.
"Oh, good lord Randy, is that all?"
She hugs me.
"And do you think you're the only one in the family that is?"
She laughs, turning back to her cooking, and I start running the members of the family through my mind, carefully examining each one.
2). I'm eighteen years old and my older brother takes me to a party he is throwing for his drag queen friends. I am shy and awkward, and I am immediately impressed by their confidence, their joyfulness, and their sense of camaraderie.
"This is Sam," my brother says by way of introduction.
"Enchanté," Sam says, taking my hand and kissing it, then laughing and returning to his friends.
I start to feel like there's a little less wrong with me.
3). I'm twenty years old and nervous. I'm going out on a date with a handsome guy named Steve. We met about a week ago and seemed to hit it off, but dating has never been my forte.
We both show up at Dixie Cafe and immediately fall into a comfortable conversation. It is a near perfect evening.
At the end of my night I repeat to myself over and over "do NOT screw this up, do NOT screw this up, do NOT screw this up."
It apparently works because he agrees to a second date. I'm on cloud nine.
4). I am nearing the end of my time as a band director at Harrisburg. I know I will probably not be coming back the next year, and I've started saying my goodbyes. Steve, who joined the staff as my assistant director four years before, will be continuing as the head director. I feel secure knowing the program is in good hands.
One of my band parents, a recent divorcé, approaches me. He is a large man, and is a self-proclaimed conservative.
"Mr. Standridge, I've got something I've been wanting to say to you."
Oh great, I think, he's mad that I'm leaving and he's going to let me have it.
"I just wanted to say I'm really glad my daughter has had you and Mr. Cazort as teachers. You're probably the most stable relationship she see's every day. I'm glad that she knows what that looks like."
We shake hands, and I'm reminded again that the world keeps changing.
5). It's both mine and Steve's 25th Anniversary and our Wedding Day. We have decorated the venue in fall harvest decor and all of our friends and loved ones are there. My father, who has had a huge transformation during my adulthood, is the first one to throw rice at us, an it feels like I just won the lottery.
I celebrate because, despite all this, I'm still here.
All of my LGBTQIA+ Family...
WE'RE still here.
And, by choice, and through no little effort on our own part...
We can still be happy.
Thank you Pat Dixon for this amazing artwork
Peace Love and Music…for all. ☮️❤️🎵 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
