02/04/2023
A beginning to this journey...
I have to admit that I have spent the last two weeks over-analyzing this project. How should I start it? Should I do a v-log? How many platforms do I need to be on? How should I word it all? What if it doesn't work? what if I fail....
And there it is. What if I fail. The phrase that has plagued many of my projects. And I have the audacity to think that I am the only one who suffers from this! I know, what a schmuck I am.
The truth is, we all do this from time to time. We think, but what if I fail? What if I am not as good as the others? What if I do it, but it isn't EXACTLY how I think it should be? What if someone else swoops in and nails it before I have the chance to do it? What if......what if......
Those "what if's" are the absolute manifestation of our failure. AND THEY DON'T EVEN EXIST! They are pure speculation of what we THINK will happen or go wrong.
I was just introduced to the term "Imposter Syndrome". This term is ME.
Sited from Psychology Today, the term refers to
"People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. Those with imposter syndrome are often well accomplished; they may hold high office or have numerous academic degrees."
THIS IS ME. Is this you? Can you relate to it? and if so, where do you think it comes from?
I always tend to seek answers from my past. And I can definitely relate some of my past to this syndrome.
Now. How can I apply this to my current? As a Mom, I have always had a MOTIVE to raise my kids in such a way that they won't have the same experiences that I had or have the traumas that I endured. We always try to improve. We learn from our experiences and try to bring to the table the best that we think we can.
And I am beyond proud of my kids! Like, I admire my girls and how they have overcome, how they handle situations, how they feel like they can come to me in the heat of a moment and rant away. I feel beyond accomplished that they have grown into such amazing people. Now. I am not saying that they are perfect. They both have gone through trials, tribulations, and their own traumas. Those of which we do discuss, and I see myself in them from time to time, based on how they respond to life lessons. Which I will touch on later.
But this all makes me wonder......why has it been so hard for me to face my inner child, the past child, and approach my past in the same loving, caring way that I have my own children? Can I do that? Do I have the strength to do so? Because, let's face it, if you have trauma in your past, this is no easy task. To revisit your young self, and walk yourself through your own past, giving your past mindset the knowledge that you have today. Sounds easy just typing it out....
But what if that is the link that is missing in our chain of psychological healing? What if it is as simple as treating ourself, the way we treat others that we love and cherish? Re-raising our inner child.
It's powerful. It would seem almost necessary, and almost senseless NOT to.
"If I knew then, what I know now..."
I DO know what I know now. How about....I take that knowledge....and help heal my own self? Do I have the courage? Do I have the self-reflection? Can I take that step and actually help that child I know so well?
I think that we need to contemplate these things. We need to revisit our own pasts without the guilt. Without the judgemental feelings. Without the shame.
If we take our inner child out, make them their own entity, and truly focus on what we would say to them, how we would console them, and how we would mend the situation, just imagine how much healing would happen on the subconscious level.
Our inner child could jump from our subconscious, to the conscious and be given the attention that it so desperately needed.
These posts are merely for opening the mind, for sharing random thoughts, and for making things come to light. Things that have been in the shadows for so long that it almost seems criminal.
Comments encouraged!! What are your thoughts??
