Starting Over Stronger Divorce Concierge

08/18/2025

05/12/2025

Dear Hurting Mom,
You’re right—Mother’s Day in the middle of a divorce is rough. It can stir up a grief you didn’t expect and leave you feeling unseen in the very role you’ve given so much to.

The truth is, the person who used to help your children celebrate you is no longer in that role—and it’s okay to grieve that loss. Just don’t let this moment define your worth.

You’re still a mother. And I'd bet you're a great one too. One who shows up in ways no card could ever capture. So yes, let yourself feel the sadness—but also consider this your invitation to reimagine the day. A lot of special days have to be reinvented. Consider that a blessing!

Start small. Choose one thing that feels good to you. Maybe it’s time alone with your coffee and sitting or walking outdoors. Maybe it’s a walk, a favorite meal, or a friend who reminds you who you are.

You get to take the power back—not by pretending it doesn’t hurt, but by honoring what does matter: the quiet, relentless love you pour out every single day. That deserves to be seen—and celebrated, even if you’re the one doing the celebrating.

With you in this,
Annie

05/02/2025

NO. NO. NO.

Your letter echoes the cries of countless women of faith who have been told for generations that enduring abuse is some form of godliness. Let me be unequivocally clear: LEAVING AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE IS NOT A SIN. Let me be additionally clear that there are many forms of abuse, few of which are physical. Abuse is:
• Verbal (yelling, name calling, threats, intimidation)
• Emotional (blaming, guilt-tripping)
• Spiritual (shaming, misinterpreting scripture to control)
• Psychological (gaslighting, manipulation)
• Financial (controlling your ability to earn your own income, withholding their income).

Any teaching that suggests leaving someone who consistently behaves in the above ways is irresponsibly misrepresenting the heart of God.

I understand this deeply because I've walked that painful path myself. For many years, I was told to pray harder, submit more, and consistently saw church leaders excuse and ignore his behaviors, and even worse, deny my reality of them. I stayed far longer than I should have, believing my suffering was a testament to my faith or that I simply had no other choice. But enduring abuse isn't a divine calling—it's a distortion of what God desires for His children.

Let's address your questions:

Is "long-suffering" what God wants for me?
NO. God desires abundant life for you, not prolonged suffering.

Why is my suffering more acceptable than leaving?
NO. It's not. Your well-being matters deeply to God.

Is it wrong to want safety and peace, even at the price of divorce?
NO. Seeking safety and peace is not only acceptable; it's essential.

God values you as a human more than the institution of marriage. He does not call you to remain in harm's way. If your church teaches that enduring abuse is your duty or questions your reality, they too are gaslighting you.
It may be time to consider leaving both the marriage and the church.

You are not alone. There are communities and resources ready to support you. If you need someone to talk with as you seek a safe path forward, please reach out. Your life, your peace, and your safety are precious.

With profound empathy and unwavering support,
Annie 💙

05/01/2025

Ever catch yourself justifying a habit you know isn’t serving you? That’s your “Mediocre Mindset” kicking in. Here’s how to flip the script:

1️⃣ Pause & Notice
The next time you make an excuse, stop and ask, “What am I avoiding?”

2️⃣ Reframe Your Why
Tie your healthy choice to something you truly value—energy, confidence, peace of mind.

3️⃣ Plan a Proactive Swap
Replace unhealthy behavior with one small, positive action (such as a quick walk, a glass of water, or a 5-minute breathing exercise).

Awareness is your superpower—use it to build stronger, more intentional habits today.

Share this with someone who could use a mindset reset!

05/01/2025

What physical issues have YOU had since coming out of abuse? https://carolineabbott.com/2016/09/my-slow-journey-to-health/

05/01/2025

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and Starting Over Stronger Divorce Concierge is here for it!!

We see firsthand how divorce and domestic abuse impact mental health. We also see—and never stop believing in—the resilience of the human spirit.

This month, we honor the strength it takes to reach out for help, to set boundaries, to choose yourself, to stop the cycle and end the toxic so you can begin again--for you and for your children.

If you're in the middle of a divorce, recovering from emotional trauma, or simply trying to find a way out to rediscover who you are, we are here to remind you... your mental health matters. Your healing matters.

Let’s remove the stigma. Let’s talk about the hard things. And walk through them—together.

You don’t have to do this alone. Visit Starting Over Stronger dotcom. (Link in comments.)

04/27/2025

Dear Quietly Moving On,

As two professionals, you probably already understand that the only thing standing between you and a finalized divorce is reaching full agreement on all the terms. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re both fully capable of sitting at the same table and arriving at those agreements thoughtfully and respectfully.

What you may not know is that you can do this before you engage attorneys, and whether or not you ever engage an attorney. You have options when you lead with mediation. You can choose to hire an attorney to draft your final paperwork, or complete the court forms yourselves.

Either way, you are in a strong position to move through this process discreetly, peacefully, expediently and on your own terms. I'm here for you whenever you’re ready. Visit Starting Over Stronger dotcom to get started, or PM me now.

~Annie 💙

04/23/2025

Dear In Love but Exhausted,

First, thank you for sharing your heart so openly. What you're feeling is incredibly valid. Loving someone yet constantly fighting with them is painful, and you're right to question whether it is sustainable. It's not healthy for you, your spouse, and most importantly, if you have any children being exposed to this conflict, it is incredibly unhealthy for them. You all deserve more than just surviving, and you can get there one way or another.

Here are two things I want you to consider:

1. This cannot be fixed by you alone. If your spouse is equally wxasperated and ready for change, they are hopefully also willing to do the work change will require—namely therapy, honest communication, and real behavioral change. If they are not willing to match your efforts, no amount of effort on your part will stop this cycle. Healing a relationship takes two people showing up with equal commitment and accountability.

2. If you're in that space where you've done all you can and they are unwilling or unable to meet you halfway, you can begin to prepare dor the end. This doesn't mean you have to leave today, but staying in a pattern that hurts you long-term is not love—it’s self-abandonment. Preparation for leaving doesn’t mean you’ve given up; it means you’re protecting your peace and planning wisely. A divorce coach can help you understand your options, goals and needs, and how to make this transition in the most empowered way possible.

There’s no “right” answer—only the one that allows you to move forward with peace and self-trust. You deserve a relationship where love is felt more than fought for.

~Annie 💙

04/21/2025

Dear Wanting More,

It’s never selfish to listen to yourself and to make choices that advocate for your well-being. In fact, it's one of the bravest and most responsible things you can do—not just for yourself, but for everyone involved.

Just because your spouse hasn’t done anything “wrong” doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel unhappy, disconnected, or unfulfilled. Marriage isn’t only about avoiding harm—it’s about creating connection, shared values, joy, and a sense of being seen and supported. If those are missing, your feelings are valid, even if they’re hard to sit with.

That said, it’s also worth exploring whether the fulfillment you’re seeking can be found within the marriage. You might try communicating more openly about your needs, attending therapy (individually or together), or intentionally shifting the dynamic through date nights, boundaries, or lifestyle changes. Marriages are intended to grow over time. Sometimes, those efforts create a deeper bond and help you grow back toward each other.

But if you’ve tried—or you simply know in your heart that the fit isn’t right anymore—you are not selfish for choosing to honor your own needs and feelings. Staying in a marriage out of guilt or obligation can breed resentment, and that helps no one.

You’re allowed to want a life that feels more aligned with who you are now. You’re allowed to grow, change, and outgrow. And you’re allowed to choose what’s right for you, even if others don’t understand it.

Whatever path you choose, let it be guided by self-trust and kindness—toward yourself and your partner.

~Annie💙