08/10/2023
I recently received a diary as a gift. It's a personalized notebook with a gold letter 'S' on the elastic closure. The words inscribed on the cover are, 'Sarah's Dreams.'
I've bought many notebooks, journals and diaries in the past, and they usually end up sitting on my bookshelf for months or even years. Occasionally I need to take notes, for a meeting or workshop, so I take one off the shelf and scribble a few lines in it, before leaving the notebook in a backpack or in a desk drawer and forgetting about it once again.
Something feels different about this diary.
I've had it on my nightstand for two weeks—close to me, but distant in a way—and finally decided I was going to write in it this past weekend. I have to admit that I was a little nervous about marking it with my pen for the first time. I didn't want to ruin it with messy handwriting or scribbled out mistakes.
I started jotting down ideas for a poem. My process is to brainstorm until I find a word, phrase or idea that sticks with me. I used a page for this brainstorming process before deciding on a topic for the poem. Then, I penned the first draft.
Once finished, I put down my pen and held up the open notebook. In all honesty, it was a mess. My handwriting is not perfect, and there are crossed out lines and scribbles. Some of the lines are written on a diagonal, and there are places where words are squished into the small, blank spaces between the lines.
At the same time, there's a certain beauty to the mess in my diary. All of the scribbles and crooked lines are reminders that the writing journey is rarely straightforward. In fact, nothing is ever straightforward.
And in looking at the first pages in my moleskine notebook, I realized that the gift I was given when I received this diary isn't a physical diary itself.
My diary holds more than words—it holds beauty and mess together. It holds a piece of my journey. A piece of my dreams.
So, what's the real gift of my new diary?
..the poems and stories I dare to pen. ✨
(Note: This is not a sponsored post; I just love this diary so much and thought I would mention where it's from.)
