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Let’s give it up for the one and only Lou — the only man who thinks a family vacation isn’t complete unless it includes a spreadsheet, a protein bar for every stop, and at least one near-death experience involving nature. If he’s not lifting weights, he’s out hunting
— because apparently, grocery stores just aren’t manly enough. And let’s not forget, he lives by the wise teachings of Wu-Tang Clan — nothing like 90’s hip-hop wisdom to guide a suburban dad through Costco. Now on to Ashlie — the queen of athleisure. She works out so much, Lululemon sends her Christmas cards. She can turn any meal into a “clean” version — even a triple cheeseburger somehow becomes quinoa and air. And when she’s not cooking, she’s channeling Lucille Ball — because every great recipe starts with “oops.” But really, she’s the glue that holds it all together… between yoga sessions. Then we have Ruby — six years and 3/4 (as of this moment) old going on Broadway. She’s got the voice, the art skills, and the confidence of someone who already knows she’s the star of this family. If there’s a spotlight, she’s under it. If there’s glitter, it’s everywhere. You don’t raise Ruby — you manage her career. And finally, Ryder — the future CEO of Tesla… or at least the head of the Cybertruck fan club. This kid can tell you more about transportation than most adults who actually drive. He’s sweet, smart, and basically a walking encyclopedia with shin guards. One hand on his soccer ball, one eye on Elon Musk.