What's Gonna Happen

09/05/2025

2025 NFL Season Picks by executive order of the Prognosticator of the United States of America.

I can do whatever I want.

09/05/2024

2024 NFL Season Picks By A Joyful Candidate For Prognosticator of the United States.
If you elect me as the Prognosticator of the United States of America, I promise the Cleveland Browns will win the Super Bowl.
Now I know what you are thinking. I had four years in this administration as Vice Prognosticator to get it done and we did not do so. Even though we promised it would happen every year. I acknowledge that.
But look at how far the Cleveland Browns have come since the Prognosticator and I took office. The team no longer sucks. That counts for something, right. I mean, it’s practically a campaign slogan. http://whatsgonnahappen.com/2024-nfl-season-picks-by-a-joyful-candidate-for-prognosticator-of-the-united-states/

08/16/2023

2023 NFL Season Pick by Bud Lite, Woke Marketing Genius
"The rumors, in fact, are true. I have been diagnosed with “woke mind virus” by my primary care physician, Dr. Rhonda Santis..."

I hear voices in my head telling me what to do. My name is Bud Lite (he/him/party!), and I work in the just-woke-up marketing department of this 2023 NFL Season Picks column. I am now

09/06/2022

These totally innocent 2022 NFL Season Picks, stored “securely” in the whine cellar of my private club, Mar-a-Wanna, demand that the 2021 season results be overturned and that the Cleveland Browns be declared last season’s champion.

These totally innocent 2022 NFL Season Picks, stored “securely” in the whine cellar of my private club, Mar-a-Wanna, demand that the 2021 season results be overturned and that the Cleveland Browns be declared last season’s

09/10/2021

These 20201 NFL season picks have have been vaccinated against vaccines. Also, I love my new microchip, which broadcasts Cleveland Browns victories to me on demand.

NFL Picks & Political satire

02/07/2021

I just found out that some rich guy named Jack purchased the First Amendment and is forcing his “facts” – that Super Bowl LV will be played between the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers – on a gullible world.
Sheep!

I just found out that some rich guy named Jack purchased the First Amendment and is forcing his “facts” - that Super Bowl LV will be played between the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers - on a gullible world.

01/10/2021

If the Cleveland Browns do not win the Super Bowl, there is massive fraud.
If they do win, no fraud.
This is easy to understand.

Banned from Twitter for inciting the Cleveland Browns to storm the playoffs?!! This shall not stand. These Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks have taken over this column. This is my new platform.

01/09/2021

Banned from Twitter for inciting the Cleveland Browns to storm the playoffs?!!
This shall not stand. These Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks have taken over this column. This is my new platform.

Banned from Twitter for inciting the Cleveland Browns to storm the playoffs?!! This shall not stand. These Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks have taken over this column. This is my new platform.

11/12/2020

Stop the Steal!

These Week 10 NFL Picks, after recounting the previous Cleveland Browns games for the 2020

11/01/2020

Wear a different NFL jersey each time you vote in order to disguise your identity, because no one on Earth would confuse a Kansas City Chiefs fan with a New York Jets fan. These are different people entirely – much like a Biden voter and a Trump voter.

These week 8 NFL picks, having already voted in every state and half of Canada

10/24/2020

So while that one particular rushed experimental unproven vaccine didn’t work, that doesn’t mean that the Cleveland Browns won’t win the Super Bowl. A cure for losing, I am told, is just around the corner.

The rushed and unproven vaccine that these Week 7 NFL picks recently took was supposed

10/14/2020

All signs point to a Cleveland Browns Super Bowl championship, and to the end of the world. I just hope the Browns championship comes first.

These week 6 NFL Picks, in the midst of the apocalypse with a plan to