06/02/2025
From my book, "MAKING SENSE OF YOUR GENDER TRANSITION IN THE REAL WORLD"
27 COMMUNITY and POLITICS
"This world of ours... must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate, and be, instead, a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect." Dwight D. Eisenhower
Transgender people are no different than CIS people with politics, some ignore it (yet suffer from it) and others get somewhat involved and a very few vocal people always speak up. Trans people populate BOTH sides of the political spectrum, it’s just that some decide to remain quiet to avoid confrontations while some make noise over every issue. Some transgender (and CIS) people believe that one side is against them and the other is for them.
The truth is that we are used by both sides for political, financial gain as well as cultural change. Both sides assume that they know me and can therefor speak for me. None of that is true. I really don’t appreciate some saying they speak for me when they have never walked in my shoes. Once again both sides. Personally, the same holds true for a very large percentage of organizations at all levels, ultimately they speak seeking some kind of gain, personal or political and seldom does it actually apply to the transgender community.
I live in the world as a transgender person and see and experience it, I know what I am saying here better than someone OUTSIDE my community or at an extreme side of any community.
I see mainstream politics as evil because it strives to take choices away, to polarize, and to limit freedom. Please, when reading below remove your political cap and read with an open mind and heart, both unclouded. I don’t favor one side over another, set your biases aside.
At the street level violence is still not uncommon. It often leads to physical, emotional and public attacks. Many trans people experience discrimination but it goes unrecognized by all communities, black, white, Hispanic , etc. Hence, it is rarely addressed. But it is real and may lead to other issues that many trans people suffer from, su***de, poverty, discrimination and depression at a level often exceeding racial prejudices.
This is an area where I speak politically, not from the right or left but from the middle.
Since we are one people, this section is written for ALL, LGBT, transgender and CIS people.
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Let’s chat about the reality of becoming transgender, living in the CIS world and being a part or the LGBTQ++ and transgender community. There is no escaping it, just be being trans is enough for it to include you and not being trans includes you in the “other” section. This is true even if you don’t express your transgender side or identity.
The term “LGB” comes from Le***an, Gay and Bis*xual, all of which are s*xual orientations. Transgender and Q***r are NOT s*xual proclivities, and seem to have been included to gain numbers and acknowledge that have better acceptance with the LGB community than the CIS community. Whether this came inclusion from inside the community or outside I do not know.
Years ago, we were a very small number of people and except for special circumstances pretty much ignored and we lived a vast majority of our lives hidden. No one seemed to care, there were no laws or campaigns either against or for us. Many people didn’t even know the term transgender. We were effectively under the radar unless we made noise. This pretty much changed when the gay rights activist rallied together after several raids against gay bars and clubs in the mid and late 60’s. A critical turning point was a raid at the Stonewall Inn in New York City . If you are not familiar with Stonewall check out the links in the footnotes. New York was not the only area , raids at the Black Cat Tavern and New Faces in Los Angeles only activated the gay community. As a result in 1967 the City of Las Angeles enacted and enforced “Rule N0. 9””, which made it illegal for performers to "impersonate by means of costume or dress a member of the opposite s*x" without a special permit.
We have come very far from those days!
I have a trans lady friend that was involved and can definitely say that the events scarred her for life. Thankfully communities are much more tolerant now than they were then. Progress has been made.
Many transgender girls were involved and then, and even now, getting a job was difficult and many trans people were performers or s*x workers. There was simply no other work once it was discovered that one was transgender, no matter how passable you were . That discrimination exist in many areas even today.
Realizing that they were targeted, the gay and transgender community soon came together to immediately provide help to each other and strategize a long tern plan to gain acceptance. From, this organizing the Gay Pride movement came about. Before this, gay advocate groups were scattered around and not well connected as a group. They seldom helped each other coherently or as a political group. These “Homophile” groups promoted tolerance. Eventually this movement led to the current gay rights and LGBT communities we see today.
I’ll take a second here and get back into my Latin and in this case also Greek, scientific speak and review the terms. “Homo” and “Phile” so we can understand “Homophile”.
Homo means “human” or “man” where man does not refer to s*x or gender but to a species.
Phile is Greek for “denoting fondness for a specified thing.”
So, at worst it means loving mankind or loving humans. But language being what it is homo turned into a gay slur. I just hope that this helps you when you visit the websites that explain what was going on then.
And as a result, we now have a much better acceptance and understanding of the LGBTQ community than when I was young. Their biggest fault is believing that you must change for them. (them being both the LGBT and CIS community) Changing is YOUR decision, for yourself alone.
Demanding that I change for you, singular or as a group, usually does not work well and may actually promote pushback especially if it is against my core values or I don’t think you are sincere.
And here we are now, over fifty years later. America is more accepting of g**s and the LGBTQ community as a whole but in the light that excessive exposure, most of it negative, by the news, press, academic institutes and government a portion the general American public is turning against the transgender community. Some people are OK with it and others are tired of being told what to do.
How did this come about? If your protest or actions such as news angers, enrages or disgusts your target audience then all you have done is enable them to push back. You will very rarely get them to examine the topics you are protesting about. You pi**ed them off and they retaliated. Human nature is push me and I push you back. The more that happens the harder it is to counter it.
Maybe it’s better to limit that type of activity.
We will do better by making friends that will listen than making enemies that will not listen.
It’s not that the LGBTQ community is without its faults. Finding some freedom to express themselves many went overboard and alienated much of the public with excessive nudity and other not acceptable displays and actions, often in public. The media, eager for ratings published much of this behavior as common, even though it was localized to a few areas. Like advertising I guess they saw exposure of any sort as good. It was about this time more stories came out in paper and on television, either to sell or sensationalize. Very little was to just inform the public.
Sometimes I feel that things were better when we were hidden. There were no or very few “anti-trans” laws like bathroom or care bills then. It was all just about someone’s personal preference against us. There were and still are anti-discrimination laws in effect that could be used to fight this, but they were not enforced in favor of the LGBTQ community when they should and needed to be.
Title VII , passed in 1964 prohibited s*x based discrimination. So does Title IX. Laws exist that prohibit discrimination on many other areas of our daily lives. Government, Federal, State and Local, just enforce those laws. My ID says FEMALE, that is enough to qualify. Works the same if it says MALE too. I transitioned to become female and my ID proves it. Good enough for the existing laws. As well as good enough for new executive orders in effect.
All that new LBBTQ specific laws seem to have done is draw attention to us in the wrong manner. Sometimes activism sounds great but often the true consequences are not considered in conjunction with the immediate benefits. I fear that this path has helped some but has also awaken a sleeping giant. Demanding that we receive treatment different from that they receive is not a proper thing to do, yet I see it everyday. We are 0.6% of the population trying to MAKE 99.4% of the population think differently. The numbers are not with us.
In hindsight, I think it may have been better to insist on the enforcement of existing laws that would protect us, making sure it was understood that they ALSO included those in the LBGT community, especially transgender. In this manner, people would be more likely to see us as everyday people, not “entitled kooks.” Personally, I am in no way in favor of creating new laws that do the same thing as un-enforced existing laws. Passing a law to “give” someone more rights always comes at the cost of taking away the rights of others. Personally, taking away something I have pi**es me off, even if I don’t use it.
That boat has sailed and we must now deal with the situation we have and that may arise in the future.
We must address that in the past many outside our community have done what they perceived as a right, speaking and promoting our community. Only the loudest of us have been heard in this mele of information, and most of it is misinformation, by those who dare to say they speak out in favor or on behalf of us. Many of them have done so for profit, political gain or notoriety. Not for our advantage but usually for theirs.
I cannot emphasize how much we need to come together and speak for ourselves. Let’s not let the media, publications (paper, broadcast, and net) and politicians and organizations speak for us with such strength any longer. At times this can include activist, parents and even LGBT centers. They have proven that cannot see the world the way we do and only occasionally hit the mark. Many do it for politics, prestige, position, financial gain and power.
One side of politics seems to be using us to gain favor without providing any benefits, the other side using us by pointing out promises that the other side has made without the consent of the general public. Neither is a benefit to the transgender community. While both have roots in truth it is an invalid truth.
We do not, for example, all believe that children have the ability to properly decide to permanently change their physical and mental make-up with drugs and surgery. Your children are your concern, not mine. Like many others, pushing that agenda just causes pushback. Mothers and fathers want that responsibility and should bear it.
In my opinion neither is to be trusted. None can be believed. That is too bad because there is good within all those groups. Unfortunately, we do not have our own political organization that is by us and for us, representing and speaking for our own peoples.
All the more reason that BOTH sides need to hear us, by us and for us in a manner that is not slanted against anyone politically. Open up your minds and hearts and listen to true transgender people without filters. It’s time the cis community realizes that true transgender people are them . We start out cis and realize our plight after. This leads to transitioning. You may know someone that is trans and not know it unless they mention it. We are and have been everywhere in the community. We are your brother, sister, aunt and uncle. The clerk at the grocery store and executive at the bank. At 0.6% of the population we are one in every 187 people you meet. It is unfortunate that a few cause issues for the many. Looking at it, it happens in every community and group of people doesn’t it? Please treat us just like you treat them, won’t you? If I am tolerant won’t you be too?
All I ask is acceptance and the ability to live my life as everybody else does. To me, it’s not too much to ask.
I pray that someday we will have the ability to do so.
We are not asking for acceptance, but for acknowledgement that we are everyday people wanting to lead everyday lives just like everyone else does. Acknowledge our commonality and just as each cis person is unique and an individual so are we. I did not ask to be transgender, it whispered in my ear until I could no longer ignore it.
That would go a very long way to help us fit in better. Think of how you would act if you believed that people were going to treat you differently. Treat me the same as anyone else is all I ask. I will be more likely to act, behave and respond like CIS people do then. I will be indistinguishable.
I know this is true, it happens with me every day.
Please remember that as men and women are different in common ways the same is true for transmen and transwomen. Some do it better than others. If that is you please read the rest of this book for advice and tips on how to improve. Not everyone is seen as a transman/transwoman or seen as stealth (invisible). It is closely related to physical characteristics and well as mental attitude and ability to adapt.
Each has it’s own issues, seen as trans and not passable means living with mistreatment from the public. Living as stealth and passable means not fitting in well with the trans community. DO you see any winners here? Yet we still transition. Our dysphoria pushes and keeps us here.
In the meantime, we must come together as a community, listen to each other without judgement, help each other as best we can and form communities and alliances with those like us and especially with those who do not know us, so that they may properly understand who we are. Perhaps initially there are those are on the fence about us but these are the people and groups we need to bring over. We gain no strength by befriending people and groups already favoring us, but we do by bridging ourselves with those who are not.
Preaching to the choir is losing the ears of the congregation. Our voices need to be heard by new people.
This concept is so important that it bears repeating. It is said that no souls are saved by preaching to the choir, those who already have been saved. So who is left? The very people that you may despise. That you call names, just to show your conviction. Yet, these are the VERY people that we need to convince to listen to us so that they may see us as the everyday people we are. Alienating that group of people is counterproductive.
We must become and present that we are united. That we are a community of individuals that must come together with a common concept. One that works together for strength that is found in numbers. We can achieve this if we practice what we preach and put OUR differences aside so that we may form a strong unity with ourselves. One voice, our community, unified. Leaders can listen to the many different voices and pull out those that will strengthen our community within and without the communities.
Almost all larger cities have groups where the LGBT and often separately, the transgender community meet and enjoy the company of like selves. Here in Las Vegas we have the Las Vegas Posse weekly meetings and there are also events held locally, like Wildside and Diva that take place here and are attended by people from all over America. Google “Transgender Events America” to see that may be near you. Attend those events and make friends and acquaintances.
Facebook also has a few regional, national and international groups that form communities. Some are closed and require an invitation, and a few are open groups. Check them out. Be among friendly peers.
If you don’t see any near you then consider starting one up yourself. You may be able to self-promote via chat rooms and websites such as Susan’s Place or Facebook Transgender United.
If you, as a transperson see yourself in a situation where you are discriminated against, feel persecuted, depressed or marginalized then seek help from your transgender community. Help is usually available but often hard to find. Start at your closest LGBT community center, College or University. Don’t feel or go it alone, transgender people do help each other out when they can.
We must consider what it is about us that makes our community wiser, stronger and better. Then develop a system, platform etc. to educate the American populace that we are not their enemies, that we are them, as mentioned earlier, their brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, fathers and mothers. In almost every way we are alike. There is an old saying, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” To be honest we in the LGBT community need to exercise the same principals with the CIS and straight community as well as within our own.
Love is a more lasting and effective when promoting needed change than hate. Calm reasoning is accepted better than argument. Love and reasoning will win over more naysayers better than hate and arguments. Reach out and accept those around you, judge only after getting to know them. Patient listening is a better tool than shouting.
This is the way that we will be honestly accepted.
Once you declare that you are trans I anoint each one of you as an Ambassador, doing his or her best to let CIS people know that were are not here to make them change for us, but to be their friends and to put the transgender community is a positive light. That we are together all as a community, stronger than separately. We are alike in very many ways, both the transgender and CIS community need to acknowledge that basic fact.
What we have been doing isn’t working so we must seek a better way.
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you." -Pericles.
FOOTNOTES:
https://guides.loc.gov/lgbtq-studies/stonewall-era
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBTQ_history_in_California
Although not as significant, that bias still exist even today. Some is due to unreasonable demands by trans people but much exist due to preexisting biases.
https://guides.loc.gov/lgbtq-studies/after-stonewall
https://guides.loc.gov/lgbtq-studies/before-stonewall
https://www.eeoc.gov/s*x-based-discrimination
The recent executive order proves this!
Transitioning is the act and process of living in a new gender, one trans from their birth s*x.
https://www.susans.org/ and select “Calendar of Events”
He is best is most noted for the establishment of democracy in Athens.
Susan's Place Transgender Resources - Index
