09/13/2024
THE ANGEL OF DEATH
By: Brad Axelrad
As my mother spoke, I knew immediately that something was wrong. Normally upbeat and confident, she spoke with bewildered hesitation as she told me my father had some trouble finding his way home. My heart dropped into my stomach. My father, the man whom I have always looked up to for strength, does not get lost in the small community he knows so well. You’d find him at the gym at 4:00 and 5:00 every morning. He was a pretty healthy dude and took good care of himself.
We both agreed that she had to get him to the doctor right away to see what was wrong. After a few days of tests, we found out he had a golf ball-sized tumor in his brain. It was malignant and had to be surgically removed immediately. After the surgery came chemotherapy and radiation. My father was given one year to live. He slipped away in four short months and I watched my father take his last breath on October 19th, 2005.
As I held my father’s hand in the ICU, I watched his spirit lift from his body. It truly was the most difficult, yet amazing experience to see his transition into the spiritual realm. I am grateful to have been at his side during those last moments. To see my father at peace helped me find the strength to cope with my loss and make a transition into a deeper, more spiritual life.
Less than two days later, I found myself again in the most loving place I have ever experienced, The Hoffman Institute in St. Helena, California. Seven months earlier I had enrolled in their three-day workshop. The timing was magical as I needed a place to grieve and reconnect with my spiritual self. After I completed the healing workshop, I drove two hours south to the Bay Area for my father’s life celebration. I was petrified to face the reality that my father was no longer with us. Once I arrived, that all changed as it became a joyous celebration of life as I witnessed how much this man had impacted others.
After a few days of decompression, I drove home to Orange County down the lonesome Highway 5. I realized it was up to me to leave a legacy as my father did. As my awareness of this purpose opened up, I simultaneously went into the darkest months of my life. I had never felt so alone, so scared, and so raw. I was regularly overcome with sudden outbursts of crying. I missed my father very much.
During my dark days and nights, alone and hibernating, I could feel the heavy burden and guilt from many years of not being around my father. The shame. The regret. The despair. I ran from my family and myself to Orange County from the San Francisco Bay Area. Geographic healing was something I knew well; I was an expert at it. As angry and resentful as I was at my father for not being perfect, I had never missed him more. Even with people around me, supporting me, loving me, I still felt very alone. Emotional pain was now part of my everyday life. As tears rolled down my face and as I was beaten into submission, begging the Universe for relief, I realized I had nothing left and had no choice but to surrender.
Mortality—my father’s and my own—woke me up. It made me suddenly conscious of how precious every moment is.
With the nudge from my father, I started my first business at 10 years old. He always inspired me to go after my dreams and desires. Midweek powder days in the Tahoe mountains 50 days a winter was the norm. Racing motocross was my passion. Ultimately, I became a championship-winning semi-professional motocross racer, traveling the West Coast, following my passion and making money.
Starting my first real business at 19, then selling another by 26, I took the risks and faced my fear, always saying yes to my dream. However, his passing shook me to my bones and rocked me to my core. All of the self-indulgence became meaningless. I knew something HAD to change. As I was literally beaten down to my knees, begging the Universe for some salvation, crying and wailing in my hallway, I pleaded, “Please show me my purpose! I cannot die like my dad did with his voice still in him!”
My purpose showed up when I realized I had nothing left but to use my body as a vessel of service to humanity. My entire life of self-indulgence had left me feeling empty. Only this time, it was a mirror held up to my face. In that moment of self-realization, I finally realized my powerful abilities of manifestation. I am a natural-born leader, just as my father was, and I had to use my knowledge and passion to create a better life for myself and others around me. I immediately embraced this role and sought out a way to be of service.
Now my Dad was a uniquely powerful man, but he never really stepped into his purpose or dharma. He seemed sort of stuck in limbo, never fully in his power. We could all feel a sort of quiet desperation, and I was committed to not living a life without miracles.
To initiate my higher purpose and to give back to humanity, I decided to host monthly Hoffman Institute graduate gatherings in my home. I met many powerful, positive people through Hoffman, and I wanted to continue the energy. By leading these meetings for two years, I was inspired to host a study group on quantum physics. I had been studying this material for the last few years, and it resonated with my core beliefs and being. By embracing and applying this deep, truth-filled material, I realized that my desires were obtainable.
Two weeks later, I hosted our first study group where I led a small group through an evening of connection and processes. By the second week, people were driving from a hundred miles away to attend the meetings! Within four weeks, we doubled in size. Within eight weeks, 40 of us were visited by NBC Nightly News, and my entire life changed! USC News later did a piece on us as well as a local PBS affiliate television station, CBC News Canada, the Orange County Register and the Los Angeles Times.
After having produced over 150 live events with some of the biggest thought and business leaders on the planet, I was aligned with something much more meaningful and contributory. Self-indulgence was a thing of the past; transforming the lives of the thousands who attended and the next courageous souls who said YES to themselves was my future.
And to top it all off, I was invited in 2010 to meet twice a year with other transformational leaders as a Founding Member of ATL SoCal (Association of Transformational Leaders), a forum for individuals of significant influence in artistic, academic, social, political, corporate and humanitarian endeavors, devoted to doing transformational work in their respective fields.
Life was good! But it can change in an instant.
Taking a prescribed medication in 2011, I nearly died. Like so many of us, I was quick to take medication instead of getting to the root cause of the problem and choosing a more holistic approach. With my liver swelling huge in my ribcage, literally rubbing against the inside of it, I was certain I destroyed my liver. I faced mortality once again -- this time, my own. I could barely eat anything that was fatty for months without it irritating it. It took many years for my liver to heal.
Had I known that there were other ways to heal the root problem, leaky gut that was creating the Candida, I would have tried another way. I took a very strong anti-fungal to get rid of the white spots on my skin. Ever seen those? It’s a fungus. This could have been easily fixed with diet and a few other changes. My gut flora was compromised from all the ibuprofen I took while racing motocross. It helped me deal with the constant pain I had inflicted on myself with motocross and extreme sports all those years. Poor food choices and the American diet didn’t help much either.
Now I’ve had many injuries, health scares and surgeries in my life, but this was hands down the scariest.
As I researched liver transplants, reality set in. If I did indeed need one, I was very far down the list and highly unlikely to receive a new liver. This prompted me to rethink many things in my life, really getting me to face the biggest dragon of my life – my own mortality.
Twenty-four months of sober celibacy deep in the Colorado mountains helped me gain incredible clarity. I spent many hours in solitude, asking God and the Universe to show me a message. Many days in deep contemplation… Many hours of conversations with mentors, coaches, and consultants… Many deep dives with numerous shamans, finding a deeper level of connection to my own divinity and others…
Fast forward several years, I’ve been heavily focused on gut healing detoxing, doing many cleanses, liver, gallbladder, candida, and am feeling much better. Integrating the best of technology, nutrition, supplementation, regenerative medicine, and anything else that will help me heal. I will not make the same mistake my father did, thinking he was doing the right things for his health. He did his best with the knowledge he had at the time; I will know for sure and apply what is proven to work, not what I think works.
As my purpose continues to unfold and I build out Get Me On Podcasts, powered by Face Your Dragon, I expand with love of purpose and humanity.
I feel my whole self being guided and living connected to the universal energy. Facing death can do that to a person.
There is a knowingness now that we are ever-expanding beings with infinite creating potential. I am tapped into the flow and am using it to benefit others locally and globally. As our membership base grows, we are supporting so many to spread their message around the world. Most days my life is flourishing and expanding. I am joyous, healthy and experience bliss on a regular basis. People around me are feeling and experiencing it, too. I have become a servant of the flow!
don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the blockbuster bestselling book The Four Agreements, was my first guest on my Face Your Dragon Podcast. He so brilliantly states the angel of death can really serve us to open and reminds us to live in the present moment, as it’s the only moment we have; our time here really is short and can be taken away in an instant.
And as I like to say to my clients and podcast listeners at Face Your Dragon, “What you are most resisting and most afraid of are the very things that will set you free. It’s your money-maker, your gift to humanity, and your purpose on the planet.” Lean in and allow the angel of death to be your motivation. Leverage your fear into your great work in the world and say yes to your highest calling. The world is waiting!
As I surrender to being an instrument of the Universe, I watch my life and legacy unfold, standing in my fear and using it for good. I am forever grateful for the pain of my father’s passing and the wonderful character he instilled in me. I allow him to guide me on a regular basis and watch my dreams manifest. I am honored to be on the leading edge of this movement as humanity wakes up to this new paradigm.
My purpose in life is to create transformation in communities worldwide, helping people to live from their deepest heart, as healthy as possible.
I am beyond thankful for another chance at life and to be healthy and happy.
As my impact grows and expands, so does my humility and gratitude.
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