05/01/2026
Over the past 8-9 months, I had 3 car accidents in the span of four months, each one on similar dates as the month before. The only month during that time why I didn’t experience a car accident was just the month that my car was impounded at the collision shop. Thankfully, we weren’t at fault for any of them. But my 1 year old son was in the car with me for two of them. We didn’t get seriously hurt, and I was humbled and grateful.
But something wasn’t right with me, and it took a while to even notice it. The anxiety was just always there. I couldn’t figure out why it kept happening and I started questioning if I should even be driving anymore. Every month when those dates approached, paranoia would be at an all time high. And I found myself just watching everyone on the road, analyzing every move and sometimes needing to pull over or take the roads less traveled.
I assumed I was just trying to keep it together for my family, my work, everyone. I wasn’t posting. I wasn’t really showing up for some folks but I was just trying to not fall behind the metronome.
I’m not gonna sit here and act like my problems are bigger than anyone else’s. Everybody’s got heavier sh*t to deal with. But I’m learning that just surviving isn’t the same as actually living, and pretending everything’s fine caused significantly more damage once I started being more intentional.
To the people closest to me and aware of many of these things — thank you. To anyone I shut out or wasn’t there for — I’m sorry, and I’m working on it.
I’m not promising anything perfect or crazy or some huge transformation in content or activity. But I am just trying to show up again, be a bit more present, active and intentional. It’s a hard lesson to learn that falling behind the beat doesn’t mean the song stops.