03/31/2026
I Walked Away in Pieces
I didn't leave all at once. It wasn't a moment.
It was a slow unraveling of hope I kept trying to hold together
with hands that were already tired.
I stayed longer than I should have, not because I was weak...
but because I believed.
Believed in healing... in change... in the the kind of love that fights its way back home.
I thought if I prayed harder, loved deeper, held tighter,
something in him would rise up and choose us.
Choose me
Choose our kids
Choose what we had built with years of tears and promises.
But love can't be forced
into someone who has already let go.
And there is a kind of grief that comes not from losing someone
but from realizing they were never going to fight for you
the way you fought for them.
I carried that weight. All of it.
The questions, the confusion, the breaking, the rebuilding.
Day by day....
Breath by breath...
learning how to stand again under the pressure of a life I never planned to carry alone.
And if I'm honest, there were days I resented it.
Resented the silence,
resented the ease with which everything shifted for him...
While I was left holding what was broken.
Words were spoken, apologies offered.
But actions.... they tell the truth words try to soften.
And I needed truth.
So I stopped waiting to be chosen by someone who wouldn't choose me.
And I stood up.
Not all at once...
But slowly....
Steadily...
with shaking legs and a surrendered heart.
Until one day, I realized.
I was standing.
Alone, but not abandoned.
Free, but not without scars.
Weathered, but stronger that I had ever been before.
And now I walk differently. Not desperate. Not striving. Not begging to be seen.
Because God saw me the whole time.
And He didn't just carry me through. He prepared me.
For peace.
For JOY.
For a life I didn't have to fight for.
Because what He has declared over me....
No one can take away.
~MT 3/31/26
