04/10/2025
BREAKING: Slim Jim Body-Shamed Into Submission
According to the always-reliable Babylon Bee, Conagra has decided that skinny snacks are problematic—so they’ve introduced the Full-Figured Jim.
Because in 2025, even your meat stick needs to be “seen, heard, and validated.”
Each jumbo-sized snack log comes with affirmations like:
“There’s a lot more of you to love!”
“You’re not large—you’re just curvy!”
And yes… they come in packs of 120. Because what better way to promote body positivity than by mainlining 360 pounds of beef product in one sitting?
Remember folks: snack confidently, chew proudly, and never let your meat be marginalized again.
Full Story:
https://babylonbee.com/news/slim-jim-takes-a-stand-for-body-positivity-with-new-full-figured-jim