07/16/2018
MARK MICHAEL DOMINIC
Mark was my son. He died on March 11, 2018. This is the Eulogy I gave at his funeral on April 3rd.
Good Morning, dear friends,
Thank you for being here today to honor Mark and to offer comfort for me and my family. It is so nice of you to come. Please know how grateful we are.
At times in our lives, it may seem that God just disappears. I certainly could not find him of that cold Spring morning just a few days ago when the telephone rang and I heard a voice I had not heard before.
It was a serious voice, a voice void of emotion, the voice of a professional, a voice that had made many such calls...but not to me.
It was the voice of the Coroner who told me that my son, Mark, was gone, found dead at this apartment in Indianapolis where he lived and worked.
He had died in his sleep. A heart attack that came like the proverbial thief in the night.
At first, I didn't believe it. How could it be only three days after we had
celebrated Mark's 49th birthday with cards and presents and words of love.
But, the more details that professional voice told me I realized it was true and with that realization came another realization--my life would never again be the same.
When I broke the news to my dear wife, Shawn, she cried out in shock and then we collapsed into each other's arms.
And then, something happened. In the midst of the tears there came a thought. It was like a voice, but unlike the Coroner's, this voice was soft and reassuring.
"The last year of Mark's life was the happiest year he ever had..."
And, I knew that God was back. I also knew that He had never been away. In the shock of the news it was I who had turned away. The solution was simply to turn back...and I did.
The last year was indeed Mark's happiest. He got a job he loved at Channel 6 in Indianapolis and he was treated well by the management and by the staff.
Everyone was warm and friendly. His superiors encouraged him and complimented him on the way he did his job. Those people at the station gave Mark a great gift...the gift of appreciation and belonging. A simple gift that cost the Company nothing, but made all the difference for an employee named...Mark.
Another sign that God was helping me through this loss came the next day. The Director of Human Relations at the Station called me. She offered her condolences and then told me something I shall never forget.
"Virgil", she said, "I can't believe how many of our employees have stopped by my office today to say how sorry they are about Mark's passing. They all want to donate to his favorite charity. You need to know that wherever Mark went in this building he had a smile on his face, he had a good word for everyone, he made people happy."
For a father who had just lost a son, you can imagine what comfort those words gave me. Don't ever tell me that God is not good.
My spiritual adviser has also helped me so much in dealing with this loss. Vince Lisi teaches classes on the divinely inspired book "A Course In Miracles."
"Focus on the Love", Vince counseled. "Focus on the Love you shared with your son and the love he shared with you. Keep focusing on the Love and the Holy Spirit will guide you."
I did that. But, on the third day, I had a doubt. The next time Vince called I told him what was bothering me. "Vince, Mark was finally happy. Why didn't God allow that to go on for a longer time?"
"We are all eternal beings," Vince replied. "We are all spiritual beings. Our souls existed in Eternity before we were born and our souls will continue to exist after we die. Sometimes, God allows a soul to return to Earth because that soul has some work to do to reach its full perfection. The soul is happy, but not completely so. There are some imperfections that have to be worked out in a physical life. Through his experiences, his love, his job, his pain, his suffering, his challenges...Mark lived his life until the perfections were gone. He reached the point where his soul was completely happy.
And then, it was time to go back to God. Back to Eternity, where he continues to exist but now in an exaulted state. Mark's soul is now wholly happy, completely happy and it will be happy for all Eternity."
It is a profound concept and it is one that has give me peace of mind. It seems I have lost my son's physical presence, but I have gained the knowledge that Mark's spirit is still alive, still with me, an immensely happy spirit, a spirit that is whole, lacking nothing...a spirit that is happy now and will be happy until the end of time.
God is...so...good.
And so, here we are. How do we deal with the loss of this man who was loved by many and who will be missed by many?
I have asked the Holy Spirit to guide me in this and here is what I am going to try to do.
I am going to appreciate more. I am going to examine and study God's creation more closely. I am going to linger at the sight of the dry leaf floating to the ground from a tree that is about to enter winter's slumber.
I am prepared to be enthralled at the green buds just emerging from the soil in this early Spring.
I am going to be amazed at the fragrant flower. I am going to contemplate the mystery of why this petal is yellow, why this one is white, why this one is red, why this one is purple?
I am going to delight in the blue of the sky. The white of the cloud, the power of the thunderstorm, the brilliance of the flash of lightning, the wetness of the rain.
And, most of all, I am going to appreciate the fact that all of it..all of it...was created by a Divine Force...and to discover the ultimate reality ...that it is the same Divine Force that created you and me.
I am going to do something else. I am going to love more. People I know, people I don't know, people I meet on the street, even people I don't particularly like...I am going to try to love them anyway. And, I am going to start now. To everyone in this Chapel may I say...I love you. I love you.
In this way I am going to try to honor Mark. And, to honor God...a God that is always good...always loving..always ready to help...a God that....never disappears.
Just a few more words...if I may.
I am proud of Mark and I am proud that he worked hard and won the respect of others. I am proud that he loved his family,,I am glad that this good God granted him time to meet the new baby in our family, little Anna. Mark got to meet her and to hug her and love her and give her presents.
I am glad that we can tell Anna stories about Mark and show her pictures of him. I hope that in the future she will know that once upon a time she had a great Uncle.
Mark had his ups and downs in life, but in the end he left this life as a ....Victor.
And so...it is done. All that went before is gone now...Mark's past is gone...but one thing remains...
Its Beauty!
Our past together...father and son and family..is gone now, but its Beauty....remains.
My dear friends...it is that Beauty that gives me comfort...I hope that it will give you comfort too.
Let us do together the only thing that we can do....go forward.
Walking forward with God. In His Love...in His Beauty...and in the knowledge that there is everlasting life...and good son, Mark, is now a part of it.
I love you...and I thank you for loving me...and my family.